cease work or movement in order to relax, sleep, or recover strength.
synonyms:relax, take a rest, ease up/off, let up, slow down, pause, have/take break, unbend, repose, laze,idle, loaf, do nothing, take time off, slack off, unwind, recharge one's batteries, be at leisure,take it easy, sit back, sit down,stand down, lounge, luxuriate,loll, slump, flop, put one's feet up, lie down
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4:15 pm Busan
I feel...
Well I don't know?
Nothing?
I feel nothing.
I feel nothing...
I - no. No that's not true.
In fact I feel everything.
I feel fine and yet not. I feel stable and yet ruined. I feel... oh who am I kidding I feel like I could cry myself an ocean, get lost in the middle of nowhere and float aimlessly with no end in sight.
No end in sight - now if you could imagine yourself alone at sea with nothing but water and the horizon, that would be me. That would be closest description to how I feel.
And if that confuses you, even better.
Because I have no clue what I'm really even talking about - nothing is clear to me.
So I guess, maybe it's not that I feel nothing. But that I think nothing.
No.
That can't be right either. I'm thinking far too much to not be thinking at all.
Oh. Maybe that's why I think it's nothing.. I'm thinking so much that I'm not fully thinking of anything.
Just endless, incomplete thoughts filling my delicate head space. Stuffing and stuffing over and under thinking.
God that was a lot of thinking - the word. Not actual thinking. Well that too.
Oh I'm confused.
Now I'm just thinking of so much that it's too much. My brains waving a white flag - screaming surrender - while the rest of me has long withdrawn. Gone and left behind any acknowledgement of whatever the hell is going on up there.
I imagine my brain like that place in the underworld. You know, where all souls swim helpless, calling the Gods for a second chance. Like in Hercules (I know I know, there she goes again with Disney. But it's the only thing I can think of that best describes it!).
