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5:02 pm
Tripping over impulse and reckless words, I had let my tongue run senseless. The overwhelming declaration of leave had caused an unfiltered response. A somewhat inconsiderate response.
It was a bit like spilt coffee - a strong bitter burn and impossible to take back. But more so then not and especially in this case - I swear - an accident.
A moment of weakness.
And now I'm paying for it.
Heavily.
The repercussions come as;
A bruised cheek from the internal face palm that came quickly after.
A heavy rise in self punishment. Particularly in the form of repeatitive name calling. For example; idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot and so on and so forth.
A post devastation type of silence.
And an unsettling pained expression.
That she wore. Well, that I slapped all over her doleful doll face.
It just sort of happened you know. The sudden pain conjuring a sudden reaction. Hurtful words often come from a place of ache. And God was I aching.
My eyes are settled on the suddenly not so settled water - the wind has picked up and the ocean is feeling it.
It looks like it's shivering. The way the wind is slapping across the surface... it makes me believe the water is shivering.
I'm shivering.
My neck is burning and yet I'm shivering.
My cheeks are hot and yet I'm cold.
And sorry - I'm that too.
"I'm sorry"
It's silly really. To react like this -- like a baby.
I mean I shouldn't be suprised really. Of course she was going to leave.
She's Lalisa fucking Manoban.
And I'm me.
She runs an empire on brains, charm and good looks.
