bucket-list (part one)

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JENNIE,

ever

/ˈɛvə/

adverb

at all times; always.

synonyms:always, forever, at all times, eternally, until the end of time

synonyms:always, forever, at all times, eternally, until the end of time

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11:56 pm Seoul

You're something else.

No, even more than that. 

More than something else.

You are -

You are one thing and another. 

Everything and more.

You are a girl - a woman, my woman - of many faces, sorts and kinds. And yet... and yet, you are one of a kind.

A woman with sweet lips and a dirty mouth.

With scarred fists and soft eyes.

Carrying trauma with a smile.

And loving deep when knowing love so shallow.

Had known love so shallow - had been loved so shallow.

Now she has mine. 

Now you have mine.

My handsome young someone.

My living figure of speech.

My very own oxymoron. 

You, Lisa - who walks along contradiction and dips toes in contrasts - and in every best way. As in every version, every opposite is best; is wonderful, mad, charming and full of care.

Care.

That's the base. 

That's what hums at the core of every mercurial her - it's care.

Even when she's confronted - hostile or angry. At the bottom of every outrage or bottled resentment is care. Or love... or hurt. But we know - I know - well enough that anyone hurt, or any feeling of pain is because you, I, everyone cares. Or I guess what I'm trying to say is; everyone who is hurt, cares. 

My own theory at least. 

Sometimes I think she must care so much. Because to have been so... wounded, the way she was in her past, and be here now willing - no wanting - to fight for a better future... that just... God that must require so much care. So much drive and passion. And yet even more peace and compassion.

And she manages all if that. Or I guess tries too. The peace thing may at times get a little... say, over-ridden by her temper, or her excitement (sexual excitement).

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