If she were a colour she would be blue. A calm, safe and soft kind of baby blue.
If she were a gem she would be a quartz, a rose quartz. A beautiful pink like stone used for love, trust and healing.
And if she were a reason she would be mine. A soothing, kind, beautiful healer.
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7:00 am Busan
It doesn't ever make sense - how I went from bitter to lover. How the numb become hot - sweet - and passionate.
I look at her and I'm baffled. Ever single time. And not just because I love her but because she loves me - and I trust that. I believe her love and I believe the people she shares with me.
Her friends, her family. Even Jisoo - who had technically been my friend, my family first. But even so, I never fully believed that she liked me, let alone loved me.
But now with Jennies guidence I feel it. All that love... All that genuine care.
(Even if Chu does annoy the crap out of me at times -- most times)
It clarifies my future and sets straight my past. I know that my parents - along with their friends were/are selfish, worthless, greedy, money hungry pigs. I know that. I always have.
But my mistake was thinking that everyone else was like that too.
That everyone was fake.
That everyone was ugly.
That everyone was out to use me.
That's why I fell so hard for casual fuck buddies and daily gin. They were two very straight foward... copying mechanisms. I had unattached sex and drunk until my mind went insides went numb. And that was that. And what I believed was enough.
I was however... wrong.
I was wrong about the one nights and the late nights. And I was wrong about others being like my parents - like my attacker.
There is evil in this world... but also there is good.
And mine comes wrapped in pretty eyes, soft lips, and humbling thoughts. A girl who believes in only half her potential and sees only a fraction of her beauty.
