Heroine [Sillie]

+January+

+Sadie+

I couldn't sleep at all last night. Mom and Dacre were fighting again. I don't know why I came home, it's always so chaotic here. I guess I only came home because my stuff is here and I didn't want anyone to mess with it. I also can't keep sleeping in Joe's car, his locks are broken and I remember waking up in the middle of the night after two people broke into his car in attempt to steal drugs and I guess rape me because my stomach was exposed. I was scared, but I fought them off and then I almost got arrested. I'm almost seventeen, why is this my life?

Oh I know why, because my mom is a complete fuck up and her mother before her and her mother before her. I'm supposed to be pregnant right now like all of my relatives before me, but I'm not very fond of penis. "Sadie!" Dacre shouts as he bangs on the door with his two fists and continues to scream. I roll my eyes and just lay there on my mattress while I stare up at the ceiling. I want to leave this hell house, but I have no other place to stay. Is it selfish of me to ask for a house with no broken doors and a clean roof on top? It must be because my three older brothers won't let me have that. They all moved out when they were eighteen, saying that they'll never come back and that they'll cut off all connections with us. They really meant that shit.

"Sadie, Sadie, Sadie! Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!" I groan before getting up to open the door. I make a very mean face as he took a cigarette out of his mouth and blew it in my face. I roll my eyes at the Australian male. "Don't be a dick. What do you want?" I ask as I wave the smoke out of my face. He's always messing with me and trying to make me mad. Fucker. "Your mom wants you to take Jacey to the park while she's out getting nails done." He tells me.

I nodded and go to shut my door so I can get dressed, but Dacre stops me by putting a hand on the door. My stomach starts to twist and I prepare my throat for some vomit incase he tries anything with me. "It's pretty warm today. You should wear that dress your mom got you for Christmas." I roll my eyes with a scoff as I shut and lock the door. I would have actually said something, but it would have turned the conversation into him pinning me to the floor and beating me. For someone who has been consuming heroine and crack for over five years, he is really strong and pretty in shape.

+

"Go on. Don't go too far though, stay where I can see you." I advise my nine year old little sister before she ran over to the big colorful play structure. I took a seat at one of the uncomfortable wood benches and stuck my hands in the pockets of my big hoodie. It actually was pretty chilly today, I don't know why Dacre was trying to make me catch a cold with that stupid dress. I guess he just wanted to see me in it because it was short and was strapless. Fucking perv bastard.

As I was just chilling there, some girl who looked my age sat down right next to me as she told a little girl to go play on the playground. This girl was actually really pretty. She was tall and had long wavy brown hair that framed her round face perfectly. She looked over at me and smiled. "I'm sorry for taking up this seat. I just didn't wanna sit next to that creepy guy over there." She apologized before secretly pointing over to an older looking male who smiles as he watches the kids on the playground. I feel uneasy with him looking like that, but then relieved when I see a little boy run up to him and they hug each other.

"It's alright, I don't mind. I'm glad I've got someone to talk to now." I tell her as I sit up now. The girl looked me up and down. "I'm January. Yes like the month." She introduced herself. I grin and nod to her, resisting the urge to make a joke or point out the fact that the current month is January. Unfortunately I couldn't resist. "What's your little sister's name? February? March?" The brunette laughed and tucked some hair behind her ear as she looked down at her lap. Thank god she liked it. I thought I just messed up my chance to get with a pretty girl. "Her name is actually April." "Damn, that was my next guess."

January scratched the back of her neck as she scoots away from me a bit and looks a little uncomfortable now. I slightly panic, thinking it was because of that April joke. "So do you have a boyfriend?" She asks me. Now I understand why she moved to the other side of the bench and why she now won't look me in the eye. "Nope. Never have, never will." I answer honestly. January nods and looks up, but past me. She was avoiding eye contact with me. "I'm gonna go get a sip of water from over there." The girl then stood up quickly and speedily walked over to the water fountains near the playground.

She never came back to sit next to me. She even told her little sister to "be careful" ever time she got to a certain distance to Jacey, like gay runs in the family and is contagious. Seems to me like January is a homophobe. Does it bother me? Not really. She knew I was gay by how I looked, that's amazing. If I look gay then guys won't wanna try to hit on me or catcall me again. This is an accomplishment to me. However, I do kind of feel like a total outcast. I have never met another girl like me in this stupid city.

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It's been storming in my area so the power has been going in and out and that's why I'm updating at this hour and also it's Mother's Day so I've been giving my mom attention because I'm a good daughter and my mom is a good mom who deserves attention so EXCUSE ME for celebrating Mother's Day with my mom.
(She actually left town)💊

Edit: I forgot the question.
Are you not a cis gender, and or, heterosexual?
If so, have you experienced homophobia and such?