Heroine [Sillie]

+Love Sick Idiot+

Shoutout to @D-DINANOVAK who was previously -richardthetrashcan which confused me as I was writing this

+Millie+

Sex with a boy was way different than sex with a girl. I loved having sex with Jacob last night, but I don't love Jacob. I love Sadie. I don't regret last night, it gave me an opportunity to test my sexuality and see what I'm really into. I still couldn't tell, I like boys and Sadie. Does this make me a bisexual like Lilia?

I felt pretty lonely this morning. It's Tuesday, so mom and Finn were gone. And I think Sadie is still upset about last night. I thought about texting her, but what would I say? I'm not apologizing for what I did. I had to do some self discovering, I can't apologize for that. I still am confused about my sexuality though. I mean sex last night was great, but sex with Sadie is amazing. And I really love Sadie, I just wish she understood me and my desires. I can't believe she just stormed out like that last night.

Anyway, after some school work I decided to write my new story today. I was writing the fifth chapter, inspired by the argument Finn and I had the day after New Years.

'Chapter Five
The Morning After

"Admit it, you liked the kiss!" Fillip raises his voice at his little sister Miranda. He was talking about when his best friend Sara got dared to kiss her last night at the party. Miranda couldn't really figure out if she did or not, though she did think about that second kiss they shared when they snuck off for a smoke. Sara was a badass chick, but did Miranda really like her? Was Miranda gay?'

I stopped writing as I realized that this wasn't the first time I've questioned my sexuality. I've been curious to know who I am for the last two years, ever since I've heard of Sadie. I've been drawn to her since the moment I laid eyes on her and I knew that every time Finn talked about her or even said her name, I'd get all red and my loins would ache. I've loved her for so long and I didn't even know it. I started to tear up and shut my laptop so I wouldn't ruin it with my falling tears. I'm so in love with Sadie and I was so stupid to let her go last night. I miss her more than ever now and I need her badly.

+

It was dinner time. It's kinda rare for all three of us to have dinner together, but tonight was one of those nights where mom was home early and Finn knew not to leave or go eat dinner upstairs or in the living room because mom valued family time. We all sat down at the table, bowls of homemade curry in front of us. "How was school, Finn?" Mom asked him. He was scarfing down his food before mom could even officially dig in. I didn't eat. I haven't eaten all day. I just couldn't. "Fun. The boys and I are getting tattoos." He says. I wondered if one of the boys was her. I miss her so much.

"Don't you need my permission for that sorta thing?" The brunette lady asked. Finn looked up at her and stopped eating for a moment. "Mother, may I please get a little tattoo this weekend?" My brother quires. Mom just shrugs. "How was your day Millie?" She moves on to me. I look down at my curry and muster up the courage to even push words out of my mouth. "Mom..." is all I said before I could feel my heart beating through my fingertips. I was so nervous, but why? I guess I'm just not comfortable with discussing my sexuality yet or even my whole relationship with Sa- I mean her. Not around Finn especially.

I look up and she was looking at me with slight worry. I then glance over at Finn, who was slowly starting to eat again as he just side eyes me. "What's wrong?" Mom spoke again and I look to her. I'm sure it was pretty evident in my face that I was upset, but i wasn't going to tell them. I blink back some tears before I pick up my fork and stab at my food to keep my hands busy and to feel less awkward after having a discussion in my head. "My day was boring, as usual." I tell her. I felt stupid just poking at the curry, so I took a bite to look less conspicuous. "Sadie didn't come over today?" Not only did my heart sink after she said that, but Finn's fork fell into his bowl. I look up and his eyes were wide as he's staring at me. "What?" His voice was sharp and serious. Ah shit, why did she say anything?

"Oh, was I not supposed to say anything?" Mom spoke quietly as she leaned in towards me. I couldn't contain my emotions. "No mom! You weren't supposed to say a fucking thing!" I slam my hands on the table and get up before stomping upstairs and to my bedroom. I fell onto my bed in the dark and curled up into a ball as I sob softly. I feel like I fucked things up between us. I feel like she doesn't feel the way she used to feel about me anymore, like I've changed to her. And it's no longer a secret, Finn knows now. I should have been more careful, I should have been smarter. Now look at me, my brother is probably furious with me and the girl I love so much left me last night all because I was so selfish. Well maybe not selfish, just stupid and inconsiderate. I knew how she felt, yet I still told her to her face that I wanted more. I'm such an idiot, a love sick idiot.

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Woooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

I just popped my pussy like a can of soda.

Do you think Finn is really mad? What's your opinion on their mom, who's name is Alice because I asked you all what her name should be and I kept seeing Alice so I'm sticking with that.💊