Heroine [Sillie]

+She Likes Me+

+Sadie+

It's not that I don't wanna be open with Millie, it's just that I'm not ready to discuss certain things with her. I've been traumatized and it wasn't until recently when I was able to defend myself and pick myself up a little more. I haven't always been this tough and to be honest, I'm not as tough as I claim to be. I'm still pretty sensitive. I hate it, but I can't help it sometimes.

"Sadie, can you make me a sandwich?" Dacre asked after I came out of the bathroom. I just started my period and my cramps were not being so friendly. I scoffed him off and shuffled back to my room to crawl in bed, groaning and in obvious pain. Dacre came to my doorway and just stood there looking at me. "Sadie, I'm not gonna ask you again. Make me a sandwich." He demands in an intimidating way. Why can't this fucker realize that I am not in any condition to even move? Hell, it even hurts to breathe right now. "Dacre, I've got really bad cramps right now." I tell him. That's definitely not what he wanted to hear and since the answer wasn't 'yes Dacre, I'll go make you sandwich right now', there was only one logical and rational way for him to react.

The man walked over to my mattress on the floor and grabbed the collar of my shirt to lift me up. "Get up." He demands. He slapped me across the face and continues to force me up by my shirt. "Get the fuck off me, man!" I yelled as I push him off of me. It didn't work. "Get your ass out of this bed and make me a damn sandwich!" Dacre continues to pull on my shirt and grab my wrist just to get me stand up. I smashed my forehead against his nose really hard to get him to back away. He stumbled backwards, falling on his ass while holding his bloody nose. I was heaving and shaking from the adrenaline rush and I knew it wouldn't be over until I left.

So I tried to get up and out of bed to leave, but he pulled me down again and pinned me against the floor while he got on top of me. "No!" I screamed as I tried to get up. He covered my mouth with his hand and whispered in my ear. "Since you wanna stay in your room all day, I guess you'll have to help me in other ways." I started to cry as he pulled my pants off of my legs.

+

I went to see Joe after all of that. I didn't tell him what was wrong, but he knew that something wasn't right. He didn't treat me any differently though, which is actually a good thing. I don't want people to treat me like I'm fragile or pity me just because I was...you know. "Beer?" Joe offers as we sat in the lab portion of the warehouse. I shook my head before I put a mask on and then some goggles. Joe chugged the last of his beer. "So how are things with you and that girl?" The older guy asked me. I felt my mood change almost instantly. My breath became steadier and my body relaxed just thinking about her. "We went on a date last night."

"Really?" Joe asked before mixing the stuff to make heroin. I nod and go off on how my date went. "Yeah, she dresses so fancy and cute. She's like a little Nancy Sinatra, I just don't know how she could look like that and be with someone like me." Joe hums. "Anyway, I pick her up and we go to the bowling alley behind the grocery store. I taught her how to bowl because, to be honest, she sucked." The man chuckles. "Damn Sadie, that was blunt." I shrug. "She did better after I taught her how to get a strike. She nearly beat my ass."

"So then I take her to get something to eat and we're talking..." I start to get even more happy when I remember what she said to me. I can't believe she actually said it. I gotta be honest, when Millie told me that she likes me, I was freaking the fuck out. On the inside of course. I was so taken back I didn't even know what to say. "What'd you two talk about?" Joe asked before packing the drugs. I start to laugh now. I've never felt like this. I've never acted like this. I felt awkward yet proud to tell Joe. "She likes me." He just looks at me like I'm insane. "I mean I figured since you two are always around each other." He doesn't get it. "But last night was the first time she's said it. And I told her I like her too." I start to get even more overwhelmed with excitement.

Joe rolls his eyes. "Teenagers." He mutters. "Why don't you go see her today?" I started to calm down a little more and just shook my head. I wasn't in the mood to see her right now, not after the awful start to my day. Sometimes I just need to be around certain people at certain times. "No, not today." I tell him. He hums and continues to work. "Well I just figured you'd go hang with her since you don't wanna help me here." Joe passively stated. I rolled my eyes. "I'm just the dealer, you jack off." I tell him. Plus my uterus was still beating the shit out of me.

I got up and went to Joe's bathroom to look in his medicine cabinet for some ibuprofen. I took one, dry swallowing it, and then I just look at myself in the mirror. I start to question why, why it all happens. Why do I get treated the way I do? Why do I have to be the one to go through all of this? It all makes no sense, I'm a good person. Yeah I do bad things sometimes, but that's just to help myself and my sister. I don't feel normal, I never feel normal. The one time I feel calm and comfortable is when I'm around Millie. And when she came across my mind, I wipe my tears and smile.

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This chapter was just kind of a filler, but it also shows that Sadie can't always be this big bad gangster that I've painted her to be. She's got emotions and even though she doesn't show them much around people, she still has them.

Honestly, how do you feel about Joe? Is he a good friend/boss to Sadie, or do you think his methods of supporting and caring for her are a little wrong?💊