Heroine [Sillie]

+Strike+

+Millie+

Usually, I hate Saturdays. But this Saturday, I got asked out on a date by Sadie. She wants to take me out bowling tonight. I'm a little scared to tell Finn though. I definitely don't want him to know that Sadie and I are seeing each other that way. Maybe if I just tell him and mom that it's a girls night, then they won't freak out so much, right?

"Mom, Sadie invited me out to have some girl time. Can I go?" I ask my mom as she was sat on the front porch reading. Finn was sitting in the chair beside her, looking at his phone. But they both look up at me when I told them about tonight. "Sadie? Invited you?" Finn questioned in disbelief. I nod. "Yeah, she wants to hang out with me." Mom grins. "Of course you can go out with Sadie tonight. I think it's very sweet of her to spend time with you." I smile so big and even jump a little in excitement. "Thanks mom." I ran inside and up the stairs to text Sadie.

+

I haven't been bowling since I was seven, so I was just a little bit nervous that I would screw up in front of Sadie. She seemed to be making nothing but strikes. I wonder if she comes here often. She must, she's really cool and she seems quite sociable.

The red head stood at her lane with the ball in her hand as she held it in front of her. She swung her arm back and then forward, letting go of the ball and letting it roll down to the pins. It almost looked like it was just gliding quickly and perfectly. Of course she knocks down all ten pins, getting another strike. She turns back to look at me and I look at her in utter amazement, wondering how she got so fucking good. She doesn't even look surprised when she does it either.

"How do you do that?" I spoke up finally. Sadie chuckles and flips her ponytail behind her. "I'm flawless." She says before walking over to me to sit down. I roll my eyes and step up to the lane. It was my turn to bowl and I know I'm gonna fail. I held the heavy ball up in front of me, almost like Sadie had done. Then I swing it back, forward and then drop it, all so it can land in the gutter and not touch a single pin. I groan in anger through my teeth and whip my head around to look at Sadie. She shrugs. "Do you want some help?" She offers. I play the scenario of Sadie hugging me from behind, almost holding my hand as we bowl together. How intimate it would be and then I nod.

The red head got up, grabbing a bowling ball and handing it to me. I turn to face the lane as she was still behind me. I felt her put her hands on my shoulder as she slightly pushes me to the side. "If your arm is centered with the lane, it'll increase your chances of getting a strike." Sadie tells me before we stand still and moves a hand to my hip while the other was still on my shoulder. "Hold it up," I follow her instructions carefully. "Bring your arm straight back and let go just as you're swinging forward." I did just that. The ball rolled straight down the lane and hit all the pins. I just and scream in excitement.

"There you go. A strike." Sadie says with a smile. I look at her happily. "I've never gotten a strike before. Thank you." I leap into her arms to hug her. She hugs me back. Her arms feel so nice as they hug my waist.

+

Sadie and I sit on the hood of her car in a Wendy's parking lot after she went through the drive through and got me a chicken sandwich. I went to town on that sandwich while she was smoking beside me. "So like um," she started, staring at the ground. "Like are you gay or what?" The hot red head looks up at me when she asked that question. I honestly had no idea. I mean I guess I like boys, but do I genuinely like them or do I only like them because I was taught to like them? "I don't know. I just really like you." I say. Sadie nods and took a hit from her cigarette.

I was hoping she would respond with a 'me too' or like a 'I like you'. Just something, anything. "Do you like me too?" I asked nervously, feeling like my heart was crawling up my throat when I opened it. I would hope that Sadie likes me. We've spent almost every day together since my birthday. The older girl turns to look up at me. "Yeah. I like you, I guess." She answers with a nod. I guess? I snicker. "What do you mean by 'I guess'?" Sadie starts smiling and I can tell that she's blushing and trying to stop herself from doing these things. It only makes me blush and get a little excited, knowing that she likes me back and that she's blushing over this conversation.

"I don't know, I've just never really felt this way about anyone before." Sadie confessed, shifting a little so she was crossing her legs. I finished my sandwich and snuck the cigarette from her hand to take a puff. "Millie." She almost whines. I remove it from my lips and close my mouth before exhaling through my nose and then coughing really hard. "See that's why you don't take my shit. Karma." The red head took the cigarette back and repeated the trick I just did. She doesn't cough. "How are you just so good at everything?" I ask. It's like she's not even human. She's just this perfect little robot that knows exactly what to do.

Sadie shrugs. She always shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know. Experience, I guess." Is all the red head could say. It was quite between us before she spoke up again. "You've never been with a guy before, right? I mean not like I care or whatever." I have never even spoken to a boy one on one before. "Define been with for me." I replied, needing an explanation for what she means. Been with can mean anything. "You know like date or..." she trailed off. I know what she meant when she said 'or'. I shake my head. "No. I've always wanted to though. I wanna know what it feels like." I explain. Sadie nods. I asked her the same thing, but I think I made a mistake doing so.

"Have you ever been with a guy before?" I was a little nervous asking that because I remember that time we talked about first kisses and things and it almost seemed like Sadie had a bad past. I don't wanna say what I think that means. The red head stares at the ground, smoke escaping her thin chapped lips so silently before she pursed her lips and took a breath. "I'm not ready to talk about that with you just yet." She answered. I felt horrible and like I had done something wrong. She seemed upset as she threw the cigarette down and slid off of the car to squish it beneath her sneaker. "Come on. I gotta get you home." I slid off of the hood of the car and we got in. The car ride to my house was silent.

———————————————————————

I totally meant to update this like two days ago but I was way too lazy to write so I apologize.

To me, we're still in the beginning of this book, but like the end of the beginning yk? Like this is like the end of act one, which is great because we're gonna like dive deeper into the story and maybe get some more info on Sadie because I feel like I've barely scratched the surface with her. We know she's a drug dealer and that she's been abused, but like there's just more to that yk?

Who do you like most? Millie or Sadie?💊