Heroine [Sillie]

+Being A Weak Fighter+

+Millie+

I'm tired of this shit! I'm lonely, I have no friends, I hardly go out. I want to have a normal teenage experience with hanging around people and being social. I just want friends, is that too much to ask for all at once? I know I should go out and make my own friends, but that's a little hard when I'm not supposed to leave the house on foot unless I stay on the property. I need to just stand tall, be brave, and ask Finn to set up a date with me and one of his friends. I already had someone in mind.

It was much later now and I was on the couch eating pizza and watching some show about prison in the darkness of my home when Finn came in from hanging out with his friends all day. I glance over at him briefly as he struggles to get through the door with his few shopping bags. I ignore him and get back to my pizza while I hear plastic bags rustling as he locks the front door before standing there silently. "Hi." He finally spoke before letting out a chuckle. I roll my eyes and sat my dinner down on the coffee table. "I'm fed up with you." I tell him, my mouth full as I brush my hands off and stood from the couch to turn on the light in the living room.

He gives me a fake 'awe'. "Why? I was barely here today, so I don't see how I could make you upset." "But your absence is what makes me upset, Finn," I snap at him before going to the coffee table to shut off the tv so it wouldn't be a distraction. "You were supposed to stay home and hang out with me because all you do is hang out with your friends." And that's where Finn got defensive and the argument began. My older brother let out a groan. "Well I have friends, okay? Of course I'm gonna hang out with them, Millie. It's not my fault that you don't have friends."

Arguments were very hard for me as I lose focus pretty easily by the upsetting words from my opponent. Once those words come out and strike my heart, the poison in it spreads to my brain and I lose concentration on my words or struggle to stay on topic. It's why I don't argue very often and keep things bottled up. And now it has infected my brain. "M-mom told you to stay home with me and you didn't." I lie. See, already losing focus. Finn scrunched up his face and shook his head. "No she didn't. I literally asked mom if I could have a boy's day and she said yes because I cleaned the car and washed the windows all by myself."

"You know..." I couldn't even finish my thought. I was still stuck on the whole no friends thing and then when Finn called his trip to the mall with friends a "boy's day" it hurt even more. I want a girl's day. Sure mom and I go shopping together by ourselves every once in a while, but it's been months since we've done that last and I don't really get to be honest with her. I wanna talk about teenager things like boys and parties without adults and my dreams. My brother stares at me impatiently in the quiet room, waiting for me to complete my sentence. Of course I couldn't, I don't know. I thought I knew, but I don't.

"Yeah. Is anyone in there? Has homeschooling made you forget your English?" He taunts me before running upstairs with his bags and a couple of giggles. Finn has always made fun of me being homeschooled. He thinks that I don't learn anything or that it's making me dumber. I'm actually pretty smart even at learning at my own pace and teaching myself most of the things. Okay Millie, now is the time to tell him what you want. Just remember to beg, really annoy the shit out of him for as long as you can, so you can get it. "I want to go on a date with your friend!" I shout up the stairs. I could hear Finn cackling in his room. Echoed through the hall and down the steps.

Quickly, I ran up there to put up the fight. I needed him to see that I was serious and meant business. Finn stopped laughing, but his smile remains as he starts putting his new stuff away. It was all shoes and clothes. "I'm serious, Finn. I want to have a girl's day with your friend Sadie." Finn's amused expression disappeared before he looked at me to shake his head. I changed the word date to girl's day to not sound gay. I didn't want Finn to think that I like her, because I don't. She's just cool. "No. My friends are off limits to you, especially after the shit you pulled today when Lilia was here." Finn spat back at me with a finger point.

I start to get frustrated and almost stomped my foot, a habit when I'm angry, but I remembered to stay strong and look tough. I swallow my breakdown so it wouldn't come out when I open my mouth and continue to fight, like a woman. "Finn, I want to hang with your friend. I don't have friends." "Make your own damn friends. Stop trying to steal mine." My older brother tells me, but I come back stronger. Or at least what I thought was pretty strong. "I'm trying. Just let me see a movie with her, that's all I want. Tomorrow night." I beg. Finn rolled his eyes before pushing me out of his room and shutting the door.

My eyes start to give up and just fill with tears as I stare silently at the plain white door in front of me. I play the whole argument in my head and lose confidence and belief in myself when I listen to my own words and how my tone sounded. What happened to staying strong, fighting for what I want? Oh I know, that one sentence Finn said. I couldn't let go of it, even after the argument as I start to cry and step off to my dark room. I shut the door and slump over to my bed to cry into my pillow for what seemed like the millionth time today. My heart starts to burn with anger, but I couldn't do anything to let the anger out without getting destructive and tearing the whole room apart. I just sat up on my knees with my face burning hot into my pillow and let out what probably would have been a very loud scream if I hadn't muffled it. My body shakes with the scream and I stop after noticing to not pass out or cause myself any physical pain.

I bring my damp face out of my pillow to lie on my back and look up at my pitch black ceiling with a sniffle. Nothing ever goes my way. I'm like a prisoner, chained to the house. It makes me almost depressed, and I don't use that word very lightly. A light knock came to my bedroom door and I hesitate to roll out of bed, landing on the floor with a grunt. I stand to my feet before following the light under my bedroom door and drying my eyes to not look like I was crying. When I open the door, Finn stood there rubbing his forehead. "I will text Sadie and ask if she wants to see a movie with you tomorrow night." And suddenly, it felt like the clouds above my head had lifted and the rain stopped pouring.

Even though I was internally happy and wanted to bang my head against the wall with excitement, I kept a stiff face and an even stiffer mouth. I didn't speak, just nodded and shut the door. Once the door was shut, I locked it and flipped on the lights for my smile to spread ear to ear. I can't believe I'm going on a date! Wait, it's not official. She hasn't answered to Finn yet. She doesn't even know about it. Oh my god, this would be my first date with someone I'm not related to! Okay that sounds a little gross, but I just meant that I'll be alone with a non relative. Ew, that sounds even worse. I just can't believe I may possibly be going on a date with cool girl Sadie!

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Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I had really bad cramps and couldn't finish writing. I'm really happy for Millie, which is weird because it's a fictional story but who cares it's my story so I'm gonna be happy for her. This story was actually an inspiration of my life, which is why it's so detailed and perfect.

Also I really wanted to add some music to this story like up in the media (just on a few chapters) because I have some songs that would just go great with the storyline but I don't want to seem annoying so just let me know if I should do it PLEASE.

How do you think Sadie will respond to the date idea? Will she say yes or no? Would she be as hyper as Millie?💊