Rejected

Chapter 22 - Windom

Picture above : Xander's wolf - Windom. Just imagine him with a diamond shaped fur on his forehead. 

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"My father was a mess, the pack is in the brink of destruction, and I...I'm dying of rejection, my wolf is in so much agony I couldn't even do anything for him. But I am the Alpha, I had to step up. I lost a lot of things that day Belle, most of all myself. I had to forget that I am hurting and be strong for my pack."

Xander stopped and fell silent, Belle patiently waited until he finally spoke again.

"Did...did they tell you...what happened to Ariana?" Xander asked fearful at looking at Belle. Because even though he hated Ariana that day, he didn't want her to die, but the fact that he did nothing made him feel like a worthless mate.

Xander felt Belle squeezed his hand before she answered. "They said she killed herself."

"I felt it you know?" Xander said. "We never mated, she rejected our bond and eventually I did too, but without a proper rejection, we are still connected. So, I felt it."

Xander stared at Belle's hand in his and held it with both his hands.

"I felt the blade slicing thru her skin, I felt the pain when it broke into her vein. I felt her blood spilling. I felt it like it was my own hand, my wrist. And I did nothing."

Xander was staring at Belle's wrist in his hand, like he could see blood flowing from it.

"I knew then too that she has gone mad. I will never know if it was because of the rejection or if it was for the guilt of what she had done. I honestly didn't care. I thought that her death is an easy escape she didn't deserve."

"I don't know what my father did with her body, I didn't ask because I don't want to know. I was already numb from all the pain that her death could have caused but I was ashamed of the fact that I didn't do anything to stop her from killing herself. I will never forgive myself for that."

"When I met her, I thought that my life will finally have meaning, a purpose, a reason to live, because that's what is supposed to happen when you find your mate. But to me, it was the exact opposite. I lost the mother I loved so much, I lost my strong and hard headed father, I lost the me who sees life to be worth living. I can't make myself smile at the happiness of the people around me, I cannot look at my friends and not see pity looking back at me. I had to turn them all away."

Belle pulled her hand away from Xander making him look at her. To his surprise, Belle sat closer to him, wrapped her arms on his right arm and laid her head on his shoulder.

After what Kyle had told her about Xander's past she thought she already understood why he acted the way he did with her, but hearing everything straight from him, she realized that Kyle's words did not even describe half the pain Xander's been thru. She hugged Xander's bulky arms and scooted closer wanting to be as closed as she could possibly have to him. All the reservations she felt about Xander's intentions is all but gone now.

Xander laid his head in Belle's and his other hand on Belle's.

"When I came back from a trip and smelled your scent, I felt grateful that the Goddess gave me a second chance. But finding out that it's another human, another human girl with a broken history just like me, I just can't accept you. You were standing there and all I see are flashbacks of the past I cannot forget. It all came back to me. Ariana's rejection, her betrayal, and I just couldn't allow another human being to destroy what I tried so hard to build all these years."

"What I didn't realize is I was being stupid. Here is the Goddess giving me another chance, a new piece of a puzzle that can complete my empty existence, but I...I was turning her away. I was so blinded by the pains of my past that I never thought I was causing my mate the same pain I've been thru. "

Belle chuckled at that then lifted her head to look at Xander.

"It was nowhere near the pain you had to go thru" she said.

Xander smiled down at Belle and cupped her cheek.

"Point is, I've hurt you. Broke you, and made you cry over and over just because I was scared."

"And yet here we are." Belle said smiling back at him.

"Because your heart is too big not to forgive."

"Because you were brave enough to ask for it."

Without another word, Xander leaned down and kissed Belle. She was a little bit startled at first but managed to kiss him back. Hard and gentle at the same time. Turning his body so they were facing each other, Xander gently lifted Belle's chin to kiss her deeply and with his other hand held the back of her head to put more pressure into their kiss. As if it wasn't enough Xander held the small of her back and without breaking their kiss he slowly pushed her down until his body is hovering over hers.

Breaking the kiss finally Xander press his forehead in Belle's. Remaining in that position panting and catching their breath, and with no intention of moving away from above Belle's body Xander said, with his eyes tightly shut.

"I think someone wants to meet you."

Belle's eyes turned wide when Xander lifted his head and opened his eyes. Looking back at her were now a pair of piercing golden eyes.

"Hello mate."

= 0=

"Windom" she said in a whisper pretty sure that it was Xander's wolf.

"It's nice to finally meet you." Windom said, sitting up and pulling Belle with him so she could sit back up.

"Can you shift?" Belle asked making Windom look at her surprised. The last time they confessed to their mate he did not even get the chance to shift and meet Ariana. And now, Belle, is asking him to shift herself. That took him by surprised.

"You want me to shift?" he asked, bewildered.

"Yes." she beamed at him. "I want to see you on your true form."

Windom could hear the excitement on Belle's voice. He was pleasantly surprised. He knows sooner or later she would ask to see his true form, but he never expected it to be on the very first moment they could finally speak to each other. Smiling proudly at his mate, he stood up and took a few steps back.

Cringing a little as Belle watched Xander shift and hear his bone's cracking beneath his skin, she kept her eyes focus on him until a few moments later a gigantic wolf stood before her. His furs were pure black and in his forehead was a diamond shaped white fur.

Sitting she must look up just to look at its golden eyes, so she stood up and even then, Windom is still gigantic, he would probably still be taller than her if he is sitting in his hind legs.

It slowly took a step towards her until Windom bowed his head and touched his forehead to Belle's. Since they aren't mated yet he couldn't speak to her thru the pack link but in his mind he could hear both him and Xander whispering the word's I love you.

"You're beautiful Windom. I think I'm falling in love again." she whispered then she stared back at Windom's piercing golden eyes.