[ PARK JIMIN ]
"Are you sure it's just empathy? Are you sure you're not feeling... attracted to me?" There was a shift in his voice as it became more silky, pleasing to listen to. I could feel my muscles relax in response to the soothing sound. "Don...
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"I was in love with Hoseok's sister."
His words echoed hauntingly. I couldn't figure out how I felt about it, other than being overwhelmed. Without letting it sink in, I started to ask questions.
"So you weren't ready to move on from her, and that's why you stopped yourself from starting anything with me?" my tone was softened. He nodded, blinking back tears. "Then why would you have told the guys that you 'claimed' me and that I was off-limits? I'm not just some object you can call dibs on, Yoongi."
He sighed. "I know. At the time, it was less about being interested in you and more about protecting my crew. I didn't want any of the boys to go through the same thing I did, and the only way I could think to prevent that was to say you were off-limits. Of course, then I got to know you and I fell for you anyway like an idiot. It just took me this long to pursue you because it felt...wrong to love another woman after Dawon died. I thought I would be betraying her in some way."
I couldn't help but feel hurt at his words, though I knew I had to suck it up. If I were in his shoes, I probably would have felt the same way.
"I'm sorry you lost someone so important to you. I wouldn't have yelled at you like that if I knew the reason like I do now. I just... wish things went differently between us."
Yoongi made his way over to reach for my hand and intertwine our fingers.
"Me too. But we still have a chance, Kat. You can still choose me. We can make things work between us if you decide that's what you want," he whispered, looking at me with that familiar determination mixed with desperation. The same expression he always had when he talked about his feelings for me. "I can't wait much longer. I've been holding myself back from you for so long, and having to see you interact with him without knowing where your head is at drives me crazy."
"I'm sorry, Yoongi. I'm not trying to make this harder for you, I just feel so confused about what my heart wants. I hate that I'm being so selfish—"
"Stop. I don't blame you for needing to figure things out. I appreciate that you want to be sure before you make a decision, it's just hard to wait. But I know you aren't making things difficult for me on purpose."
"Thank you for being so understanding." I squeezed his hands and he gave me just a hint of a smile. The air was still heavy with the weight of the secret he told, but I tried my best to ignore it.
"And just so we're clear, I don't feel that way anymore. About betraying her if I'm with someone else. I'm ready to let go." He pulled me into a hug which I returned, despite the fact that the words intended to comfort me only left me uneasy.
Maybe it was the eerie presence of his past lover that I felt in the room with us, or perhaps it was the way he said he was ready to let go, instead of saying that he already had, but something made me feel more unsettled with Yoongi than ever before.
