Mea Culpa

Chapter 24

After much discussion, Coco and Roxy decided he would join her on the trip up north. At first, she wanted him to stay with Mateo but Coco didn't trust Happy. Once EZ and Letti promised to watch over Mateo, Roxy finally felt comfortable with Coco coming with her.

"Let me go in alone," she said, parked out front of Happy's house. "Him seeing you will push this a level up and we don't need that."

"You two are the ones who tried to kill each other but I'm gonna make it tense?"

Roxy was able to smile at that. "I love you, Coco."

"I love you too," he huffed. "I just fucking hate this."

Nodding, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Me too."

Roxy took a deep breath and headed up to the front door. She knocked once, hoping he didn't answer despite his bike being parked just to the left of the front steps, then again. After what felt like an eternity, Happy opened the door. His angry expression quickly turned to surprise.

"Hey," she forced a weak smile. "Can we talk?"

"Uh yeah," he sighed, stepping back to let her into the house. "Skeletor gonna come in too?"

Roxy rolled her eyes. "No. This is just between us."

"Great," he grumbled. "You gonna stab me this time?"

Roxy actually laughed at that one and thankfully a bit of her apprehension lifting as she did. She looked at him for a minute, seeing some of her son's features in Happy's face, and suddenly her smile fell.

"Teo is sick," she said slowly.

"Shit, Rox, I'm sorry," he huffed. "What's going on?"

"His kidneys," she said vaguely. "I didn't come here to tell you just that." Roxy could hardly open her mouth, the words held safely behind her teeth, but his expectant and intense stare forced her to speak. "Mateo is your son, Happy, and he needs something only you can give him."

"Get the fuck outta here," Happy snapped roughly.

The force of his words sent her back a few feet as she looked at him, blinking twice, unsure of what to say next.

Happy shook his head. "Kid ain't mine. He's Esai's."

"I just said that," she said quietly. "I didn't want to but Jax said it would be the best for all of us."

Swallowing hard, Happy's face changed at the realization of Jax's involvement. "Jax?"

"He didn't want us together. He didn't think you'd want to be a father. He wanted me out of here. Out of the shit, he couldn't get himself out of," she sighed. "That's what I've put together at least. Hindsight, you know? When he got the chance to kill Esai he loved it. Cut my ties, mostly, and he thought he could," she shook her head. "I don't know what he thought."

Happy listened to her, a hand on his forehead and over his eyes, as he shook his head. "This is bullshit. FUCKING BULLSHIT. Jax wouldn't do that, he woulda told me."

Roxy began to cry, the anger in his voice broke her heart and for the first time, she wasn't sure he'd agree to help Mateo.

"He has polycystic kidney disease," she said bluntly. "It's genetic, Happy, and it's not on my side."

"My mom had that," Happy said suddenly. "She was on dialysis for a while, supposed to eventually get a transplant but she was never healthy enough for the surgery."

"Yeah," Roxy whimpered. "Mateo has an infection so they want to keep him for a bit longer before he's discharged. We're currently looking for a living kidney donor."

"Guessin' you tried everyone else first?"

She nodded and said, "I wouldn't be here if I didn't have to be."

"You gotta go," he grumbled. "Now."

"What?" She glared at him. "Go? What about Teo? He's your son and he needs his biological father!"

"What about Coco?" Happy sneered.

"He would if he could," she told him. "I'm sorry I lied. I wanted to tell you, I did, but I still never thought you'd have wanted a child."

"Woulda been nice to have the option," he said, uncharacteristically vulnerable.

"What am I supposed to do?" She stammered. "Please. He's our son."

"He's not my son," Happy said bitterly. "I don't even know that kid and he doesn't know me."

"I know what you mean but, Happy, even if you don't know him he's your blood. Fuck, man, he only got this shit because of you!"

"Don't blame me," he hollered. "This isn't my fault. It's yours."

Roxy drew her head back. "Fuck you. You selfish fucking asshole. He's a kid, practically still a baby, and you're gonna take our shit out on him?"

"Get. Out."

"Come on!"

"GET OUT!"

"Fuck you," she snarled. "You don't deserve to have a son."

Storming out of the house, Roxy screamed a string of expletives until she got back to Coco's bike. He looked at the house, furious, and before she could sit got off the bike and headed toward the door.

"We gotta talk," he said, pounding on the door.

"Go home," Happy warned him.

"You gonna leave your kid in that hospital bed?" Coco bellowed, purposely making a scene. "I'll cut that fucking kidney out my goddamn self!"

The door swung open and Happy glared at Coco. "You don't know shit. You wanna try to fuck with me, you'll lose."

"I just don't want that kid to lose," he snapped. "You don't wanna be a dad, I get that, and it's all good cause that's not what he needs."

"You gonna play daddy? Raise that kid?"

"Yeah, I am," he said earnestly. "Give this kid six months, dry out, stop smoking and help him live a fucking normal life."

Happy huffed, "I don't need to hear some come to Jesus bullshit from you," he said shoving Coco back.

"Hey," Roxy rushed over to them. "Don't fucking do this shit. Coco, if he wants to be an asshole, let him. He was never a giver." Grabbing his kutte, Roxy pilled Coco back toward his bike.

"I'm sorry," Coco said angrily. "I can kill him and cut it out if you want, I swear to god I'll do it."

"No," she said, wrapping her arms around his waist. "If he doesn't wanna do it we'll find another way."

Happy watched from the step as Coco and Roxy left, only slamming the door when they were out of sight. Stopping to grab himself a beer, Happy stomped his feet up the steps to pack for Santo Padre. He was going to go, he was going to give Mateo whatever he needed and Happy knew or the second Roxy asked. The outburst was simply bin working through the sadness and anger that suffocated him.

Not only had Roxy lied to him but Jax too, for years. The betrayal coupled with the news he had a son, a son that was sick, tipped his scales and he lashed out.

Looking at a photo of his mother stuck in his mirror, right next to one of him and Jax, Happy shook his head.

"This is gonna fucking suck."