Mea Culpa

Chapter 34

"Miss Teller, would you like to say goodbye?"

Roxy blinked, her brain paralyzed for a moment before she was able to speak. "Uh, like, see him?"

The doctor nodded. "You don't have to, it's just an opportunity we like to give loved ones."

"Uh, yeah, sure," she nodded. Roxy didn't want to. The idea made her sweaty and shaky but deep down she needed to punish herself.

The doctor led her to the elevators, mercifully he didn't try for small talk as they went down to the first floor. It was a long corridor, like something out of a horror movie, until they reached the morgue.

"You ready?" He asked her softly.

Roxy nodded, afraid if she spoke she'd vomit, and walked through the swinging double doors. The room was cold, it smelled of what she assumed was formaldehyde, and there was Happy, on a slab, dead.

"Fuck," she hissed, turning away. "I can't. I can't."

Her eyes flicked up, focusing on the doctor as he stood outside the door, in front of the large window.

"Don't look guilty," she whispered to herself. Roxy straightened herself and walked over to the table. "Of course I look guilty," she said to him, "Because I am fucking guilty." Inching down the white sheet, Roxy gasped, seeing his gray skin and blue lips. "I'm sorry," she began to sob. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could take it back, Hap. I'm so sorry."

"Aye," Chibs' voice cut through her crying, "Ya should be."

Roxy gasped, stumbling back to the floor, and shook her head. "I didn't do anything."

"We know what ya did," he said, walking closer to her, "And you know what that means."

"Chibs," she whimpered, kicking away from him across the cold tile floor. "It's me."

"You, Coco, Angel, EZ," he rattled off the names of the guilty parties, "It was all of you."

"You don't understand," she stammered. "Please."

"Don't worry, we'll make sure Mateo knows the truth," he smirked. "He'll know his whore mother lied about his father, keep him from knowing his son, and she killed him."

Roxy glanced over at the window, hoping the doctor was still close by, but saw him standing with Tig. "Hey," she screamed. "Help me!"

Tig handed the doctor a roll of cash and waved at her before pushing open the doors. "The brothers are dead," he announced with a smile.

"Angel and EZ?" She inhaled sharply. "No. Please. I'm sorry. I'll do anything."

"For them," Chibs said, pulling his gun. "You did it for them."

Roxy opened her mouth to plead with them one last time but Chibs trigger finger was too quick. Hearing the gun she screwed her eyes shut and screamed only to open them and see Coco and Mateo staring at her with wide eyes.

"Rox, you okay?" Coco asked her, his hand on her shoulder.

"I," she faltered. "I was sleeping?"

"Mommy did you have a nightmare?" Mateo asked with a frown.

"Yeah buddy," she whimpered. "I did."

"Rox," Coco said sternly. "What's wrong?"

Shaking her head, Roxy turned her attention to Mateo. "How are you feeling buddy?"

"Great!" He said chipperly.

"I think the burger I got him for dinner helped," Coco chuckled.

Roxy laughed. "Yeah, probably. How long was I sleeping?"