Mea Culpa

Chapter 33

Not wanting to be gone for too long, Coco and Roxy went back up to the surgical floor. Within the hour Chibs and Tig arrived at the hospital. Roxy didn't know they were coming and the sight of them coming down the hall was startling.

"Hey," she said with a weak smile. "I didn't know you were coming."

"Of course," Tig said quickly. "How's it going?"

"Good, I guess," she shrugged. "We haven't gotten any updates yet."

"How long have they been in?" Chibs asked her.

Coco could feed the slight tension between the four of them as Roxy continued to give them what little information she had. He wondered if that was because of the surgery in general or something Happy may have told them.

"Aye," Chibs said, snapping in Coco's face.

"What?" He asked, realizing they were talking to him.

"You'll be here?" Tig asked. "You're staying?"

Coco nodded. "I'm not leaving."

"Good, we don't like havin' him so far from home like this," Chibs explained.

"He's not going to be attacked," Roxy rolled her eyes. "Christ, Chibs. Is that all you worry about?"

"I worry about my club," he told her. "You used to, you know the risks."

Roxy remembered how eager they were to move injured or sick Sons to Saint Thomas. Home turf was indeed safer but Roxy couldn't help being annoyed by it.

"Yeah," she rolled her eyes, "I know."

"Miss Teller?" A nurse called from the nurses' station. "We have an update," she said, waving her over.

Roxy jogged over to the desk then followed the nurse into an office. There was a doctor there, in scrubs, sitting on the edge of the desk. "Is Mateo okay?"

"Your son is doing well," he told her. "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, we tried everything we could, but Mr. Lowman died in surgery."

"What?" She stepped back, bumping into a small table but barely noticed she was so surprised by the news. "Happy died?"

"Yes, he did," the doctor said with a mournful look on his face. "Not long after we removed the kidney he bled out, we tried to control it but his blood pressure dropped too low. I'm very sorry."

"Oh," she leaned against the wall, feeling her stomach churn and her chest tighten, and nodded. "Okay."

"Is there anyone here with you? Anyone I can bring in?"

"My boyfriend," she muttered, "He's in the hall."

"I know him," the nurse said, slipping away to get Coco.

Walking into the tiny room to find Roxy so distraught, Coco immediately thought Mateo had died. He dropped to his knees in front of her, lifting her head from between her legs, and looked her in the eyes.

"What happened?"

"Happy's dead," she sobbed.

"Take as long as you need," the doctor told them, "We'll let you know when Mateo is out of surgery."

The doctor and the nurse walked out, shutting the door behind them, and left Coco and Roxy alone. She cried, hard painful sobs, while Coco comforted her. Finally, she wiped her face and looked at him, now sitting in the chair beside her.

"It's alright, it's over," he said softly.

"I can't believe it worked," she said, still in shock. "I didn't think it would really work," she admitted.

"This was the plan," he reminded her. "Remember?"

Roxy nodded. "No, I know, I just," she whimpered, "I didn't think it would work, Coco."

"That's why those doctors tell people not to take that shit," he said, his hand on her knee. "What did you think was gonna happen when you crushed that shit into his food?"

"I don't know," she snapped. "They're just fucking herbs," Roxy said defensively.

"Herbs that thin your blood," Coco told her. "You agreed to this, Rox. We planned it. It worked."

"And now I'm a fucking murderer. I murdered Happy while he was saving Mateo's life."

"Alright," Coco sighed. "Don't go around saying that shit so loud."

"I just, I didn't think it would actually work," she whimpered.

"Shh," he hushed her. "We don't talk about anymore, Rox. It was an act of God," he reminded her.

Roxy shook her head. "It was me, Coco, it was us," she whimpered. "He trusted me," Roxy's voice cracked.

Coco leaned in and kissed her forehead. "You'll work it out, in your own time. It's about Mateo now."

"What do we tell him?"

"Uncle Happy went home," Coco said ominously. 

Abruptly, Roxy stood up and headed for the door. "I have to tell them."

"Angel and E?"

Roxy grit her teeth. "Chibs and Tig."

Coco nodded. "You gonna let them handle everything?"

"I can't bury anyone else, Johnny," she sniffled. "Before the surgery the hospital made him do a living will and next of kin shit. It's me but I can't, Chibs will have to do it."

"They'll probably wanna anyway," Coco shrugged.

"Yeah, probably," she agreed weakly.

All they needed to see was Roxy's expression to know something happened to Happy. If it was Mateo, Chibs and Tig knew she'd be inconsolable, and although she was clearly devastated, Roxy was composed.

"What happened?" Tig asked urgently, meeting her halfway down the hall and gripping her shoulders.

"Hap bled out," she said with a sob. "He's, he's dead."

"No," Tig groaned.

Chibs and Tig turned to one another and hugged, sobbing openly over the loss of yet another brother. Roxy couldn't watch, she felt bile creeping up in her throat that sent her racing into the bathroom. She was grateful that at least the sound of her vomiting was enough to drown out their crying.

"What did I do?" She asked, wiping vomit from her chin.

*6 Hours Prior*

Seeing Roxy head in to sit with Mateo, Coco, Angel, and EZ slipped into Happy's room. He was given a mild sedative, just to calm him before surgery he was told, but the nurse was acting under Mayan orders, not the doctor's. They weren't going to let him die without making sure he knew who and why.

"I know what you did," Angel growled.

"I saw you that night," EZ added. "You kill my mom. I did 8 years because of you."

"What is this?" Happy asked, feeling loopy, his eyes blinking rapidly trying to focus. "Where's Rox?"

"You don't get to say her name anymore," Coco said, "You don't get to see her ever again."

A sudden realization hit Happy. "Is that kid even fucking sick?"

"He is sick," Coco said, "Least you did one thing for him before you died."

"SAMCRO's gonna come for you," Happy growled, his eyes becoming even heavier now.

Angel and Coco chuckled while EZ leaned close to Happy, shaking his head. "No, they're not. You're never going to wake up. They'll never know."

"Less suffering than you deserve," Angel growled. "Don't worry, Coco's gonna take real good care of Rox and Teo."

"You thought you convinced her? You didn't convince shit. She played you," Coco grinned, his words rolling off his tongue confidently.

"You lose, motherfucker," EZ whispered into Happy's ear. As he upped the drip, just like the nurse advised, EZ blessed himself and said a quick prayer to his mother, then slipped out with the others.