Learning To Love (bxb) ✔️

Chapter 2

Liam's Parents ^^

Being back to square one was painful, because now that I was eleven my mother trusted that I could stay home by myself when she goes to work.

She always came home for dinner before having to go out again for work. She seemed to get even busier now that I was older, and I didn't really see her much. However, I knew that she was just trying her best to make ends meet and support us.

Being the sole provider for an eleven year old boy, herself, and a cat must be difficult. 

Mr. Newman taught me how to cook (well, the basics anyway) over the years that I've spent with him. It started with just me being in the kitchen with him while he made meals for the both of us. My mother always gave him money for the cost of food whenever she came back, but most of the time he refused to take it. 

I slowly learned how to cook meals and even started helping out in the kitchen. Mr. Newman even baked with me and taught me how to make different kinds of sweets. He was the closest thing to a best friend I had at the time... apart from Bella of course. 

It took me about a year to open up to him. A year of everyday interactions for me to willingly talk to Mr. Newman without being prompted. I'm so pathetic sometimes and I hate it. I know I have a social interaction issue, but I have no idea how to overcome it. 

I've started to try and cook meals for mom and I. She always comes home really tired and either tries to cook something really quickly, brings dinner home, or just orders food from a restaurant. The first day I told her I wanted to try to cook for her, she didn't really believe me because she smiled at said it was thoughtful, but ended up coming home with dinner anyway. That did hurt a little, but my creation wasn't great anyway.

After that though, whenever I told my mom that I wanted to cook dinner, she came home with no food in hand and was always willing to eat whatever I created.

Bella was almost always by my side whenever I got home. I felt like she was the only being that really understood me completely. Whenever I was doing homework, she would always be nearby doing one thing or another. She never failed to make me smile, and really holds a special place in my heart. 

She was basically my only companion.

Bella made me want to further explore the world of animals because they seemed to be so much better than people.

Anyway, life continued on as so. I still had no friends other than Bella and I didn't really get to see my mum much, but dinner was our special time.

Everything changed when I was thirteen.

Mum started going out even more. Sometimes she wouldn't come back for dinner. I always thought it was just work, but then one day she brought a man back home.

He came over for dinner, introducing himself as Paul.

Mum introduced him as her new boyfriend. This confused me at first, because wasn't daddy her husband? I quickly resolved my confusion by remembering the divorce, as much as it saddened me. 

In order to be polite, I put on a brave face and sat with them at dinner, but I hardly talked. Only when mum asked me to would I contribute to the conversation. They seemed happy though, talking and laughing together.

Paul didn't seem to want too much to do with me, which was perfectly fine in my eyes. I didn't want to talk to him either.

So I listened and learned a few things. Paul is working as a personal fitness trainer at a gym not too far from my house. They met through one of mum's co-workers and started dating about a month ago. I find it a little shocking that they've been dating a month and mother hasn't told me anything or even hinted at it, but these days she's so busy I hardly see her anyway.

I felt a little hurt, seeing them having so much fun and enjoying themselves. I always considered mum the closest person to me, but I guess I was never the closest person to her.

Of course there are some people at school I talk with sometimes, but I never really got along with anyone because I'd always get super nervous and never know how to act or what to say, so eventually they all got fed up with me and left in search of other friends.

It's not that I don't want friends. I think everyone wants friends at least sometimes. I'm just... I don't even know. Yeah, it's true I'm not a people person, but I do get lonely sometimes without having anyone to talk to much. Of course I have Bella, but I can't exactly have a full on conversation with her. The only person I was comfortable enough to truly be myself is mum... but I rarely get time to do that with her. 

I can't help but feel that Paul is stealing mum away from me, and I feel like a terrible person for thinking that. I'm sure he's a lovely guy, he makes mum happy. My only issue is that he's taking up the already little time I get to spend with mum away. 

Paul left a while before mum had to go to her evening job. 

"Mum..." I start, my fingers fidgeting.

"Yes dear?" She replies, looking in the mirror and fixing her hair. I'm not sure why, it looks fine to me.

"Is..." I trail off, not knowing how to phrase what I want to say. What would I say? Is Paul going to take you away from me? That sounds bad. 

"I'm sorry Liam, but I'm nearly late for my job. What did you want to say?" She asks distractedly, grabbing all her work things before putting her coat on.

I pause, not knowing how to respond. The words are on the tip of my tongue. I want to ask, but my tongue feels heavy and immobile. This is my mother, what's wrong with me?

I hear mum let out a sigh, "You know what? Tell me when I get back, or tomorrow even, I'm sorry but I really have to go now. Make sure all your homework is done and sleep early tonight, okay? Love you." She kisses my cheek quickly before leaving the house, and I'm left standing in the empty house with the words I wanted to say unsaid.