Learning To Love (bxb) ✔️

Chapter 4

Liam's English Classroom ^^

Liam's POV

The first day of school is really just introductions and formalities. 

Honestly, I'm so glad there aren't much introductory activities in the higher years where you have to go around and introduce yourself. Those were always terribly anxiety inducing. Ethan talked to me some more during class when we weren't doing anything. He's really nice and doesn't seem to mind the fact that I don't talk much, which is great.

"I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get put in the same English class as my best friend, but I got to meet you, so it's all good." 

"Oh, er... thanks." I reply, surprised.

"Hey, during lunch do you wanna sit with my friend and I? Unless you've already got plans to sit with other friends, then by no means do you have to." Ethan offers. I feel my heart leap in excitement. He's inviting me to sit with him and his friend at lunch! I can't help but feel nervous and overjoyed. Does this mean I've made a friend?

"Sure, thank- thank you." I stammer, my fingers twitching in excitement. I hate how my body overreacts to small social things. Why couldn't I just be normal?

-

-

At lunch, Ethan told me to meet him in front of English. 

I nervously awaited him in front of the classroom when the lunch bell rang. I didn't have him in my next two classes, which were a bit more lonely as I didn't make any new friends like I did with Ethan, but that's alright with me. I'm used to it.

As moments pass, I start to get increasingly nervous. What if he decided to abandon me because he suddenly doesn't want to be my friend anymore? Are people staring? I hope not. Do I look stupid just waiting here? Should I move? But then Ethan won't be able to find-

"Hey Liam!" A voice snaps me out of my thoughts. Ethan waves towards me.

"Come on, my best friend has reserved us spots at a table in the caf." He smiles, gesturing in the general direction of the cafeteria (I assume, I'm still a bit lost in this school).

I struggle to follow Ethan as he easily weaves through the hallways of the school. He probably knows the school better than the back of his hand, since most people here start from year 7.

Ethan goes up to a boy dressed in a red hoodie with brown hair. He sits next to a pretty blonde girl with the most piercing blue eyes I've ever met. If I was straight I would probably be attracted to her.

I think I've always known I was gay internally. It was only recently that I started to confirm and accept it. I haven't told anyone yet because I'm absolutely terrified of how they would react. I haven't met a single gay person in my life so far so I have no idea how the people I regularly converse with (which is not a lot) would react.

"Hey Theo! And... Brianna right?" Ethan grins at them. He's always so happy, I aspire to be more like Ethan. He seems like a great sociable person that everyone likes to be around.

The girl nods, sending Ethan a small smile. 

"Yeah, we were in a few classes together." Brianna states. Ethan nods before turning to me.

"Guys, this is Liam. I met him in English today, hope you guys don't mind if he sits with us, I said he could." Wow, I'm so glad I did not have to introduce myself. I feel my hands already sweaty in anticipation of the introduction.

"Hey Liam. As you already know, I'm Theo." The boy nods in acknowledgement. 

"And I'm Brianna." The girl smiles warmly at me. I send a tentative smile back. Ethan sits down on the bench and pats the seat next to him as an invitation to sit down. 

I mainly listen to their conversations. Although Brianna just joined them today, it's easy to see that she fits into the group quite well with her outgoing yet stubborn personality. Theo (his full name is Theodore) is more laid back, but he's very kind and not afraid to joke around with Ethan. Ethan is.... Ethan. He's outgoing, loud, very funny, and likes to make smart remarks. 

I'm glad that they're so welcoming towards me and seem to understand I'm not exactly the loudest or outgoing person.

It's not hard to see the three of them have been in the same school for a while, but it's also easy to see how close Ethan and Theo are. They seem to have so many inside jokes and can pick up on cues without even speaking.

I can only hope for a friendship like that someday.

"Are you going out with anyone?" 

The question breaks me out of my thoughts and back into the conversation. Brianna had asked the question, directed towards Ethan.

"Well, funny story. I was going out with Hailey, but then the bitch dumped me for some unknown reason so nope, not at the moment. Doesn't really bother me though, I've got my eye on Noah in Maths. He's cute." Ethan replies nonchalantly. I flinch a little at his harsh words.

"You... swear?" I ask quietly. I'm being dumb, aren't I? Most 14 or 15 year olds swear here and there

"Uh.. yeah? Do you not?" Ethan questions. I shake my head and see his eyebrows raise in surprise, "really? Never?" I shake my head again.

"Aww, we have an innocent bean over here!" Ethan gushed, throwing an arm around my shoulder. "I should call you Lima bean!" 

I could feel my face start to heat up at the nickname.

"Didn't know you were bi, Ethan." Brianna muses. Ethan looks at her.

"Oh, yeah. I am." He replies simply. Brianna nods, giving him a smile.

"I'm not biphobic or anything, I was just curious. Sorry if that came across as rude." She apologizes. Ethan shrugs.

"Nah, I don't really care who knows." He replies. 

"Noah is pretty cute I suppose." A soft murmur comes from Theo.

"What?" Brianna blinks. Theo's face turns red.

"Shit- I wasn't supposed to say that out loud. Uh... I mean I guess I'll just say it... I'm gay?" Theo stutters. 

"Well, it seems like we're all announcing our sexuality, so I'm straight." Brianna smiles. All three of them turn to me, and I feel a lump forming in my throat.

"You don't need to tell us what you identify as, Liam. We understand it's very personal." Theo reassures. I send him a weak smile. 

"No, it's... I should probably say it, I'm just nervous. I- I want to say it, but..." I glance away. Why do words always fail me at the worst times?

"No pressure Liam, you can tell us whenever you're ready, or... you know, never. That's okay too." Ethan pats my back gently. I take a deep breath.

"I'm... I'm gay." I say, and I take note how I can hear the tremble in my voice as I say it. It's so infuriating. Everyone at this table is clearly accepting, so why is it so hard for me to say it out loud?

"That's great, Li." Theo grins at me. Everyone smiles and nods in acceptance, and I breathe out a sigh of relief.

"Oh, uh... could you guys not tell anyone else? I'm- I'm not... out... to anyone." I murmur quietly, making sure to keep my voice quiet so no one else could possibly hear. 

"Of course, Liam. Thanks for telling us." Brianna confirms.

"Yeah, it'd be a dick move to out someone when they're not ready." Ethan agrees, his face serious for the first time since I've met him.

"Thank you guys." I smile.