Liam has never been a people person.
Having your parents divorce makes it even worse.
Social anxiety has always made it incredibly hard for Liam to talk to people and make friends, so how would he even find a chance at love?
At 21, Liam wasn't even...
The wedding was good. There were a lot of people I didn't know at the wedding, but anyone could see that mum and Paul were really happy. As long as mum was happy, I wouldn't object to anything.
I still didn't know Paul that well. They hardly came home for dates. They always left the house. I don't think he really likes me much, perhaps it's because I'm a reminder of the fact that my mother had a child with another man?
I mostly stayed in the corner away from people. Bella was there at the wedding, so I hung out with her a lot. I must have gotten quite a bit of cat hair on my suit, but no one commented.
Even Bella got into the wedding spirit, as we dressed her up in a white bow that I'm pretty sure she despised.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
After the wedding, mother informed me that we were going to move into a new house with Paul. I can't say I was excited at all. I was extremely attached to my home. However, I just smiled and nodded at her in response. I wouldn't want to ruin her ecstatic mood.
Thankfully, we would move houses shortly after I finish the school year. One of my worst fears, if you can even call it that, is transferring to a school half way through the year. Everyone already knows everyone and you're in that awkward stage of "I'm new" that draws everyone's attention to you. I resent it greatly.
I'm not sure if the wedding was good or bad in my situation. Of course mum was super happy and positive now that she's supposedly found the love of her life, but I felt even less inclined to talk to her about anything other than good things because I felt like I would be raining on her parade if I did so.
I ended up keeping a lot of my loneliness issues to myself. Of course, my social skills have improved a little bit. There are one or two kids who talk to me sometimes, and I'm now able to hold a short conversation before my mind and mouth start becoming muddled and I embarrass myself.
In the few months of mum's married life, Paul and I have talked maybe a total of 5 times, and none of those times were long conversations either. The fact that he doesn't seem inclined to talk to me at all or get to know me makes me really nervous. Does he hate me? Did I do anything to invoke his indifference towards me?
The school year passed by pretty quickly. Mum took me out for a congratulatory dinner for finishing the year and to celebrate our move. Just the two of us, since Paul was working at the time.
It felt really special for me to just spend this dinner with my mum and talk my heart out about whatever I wanted.
-
-
I dreaded the day we moved.
We packed up our furniture in boxes that reminded me of the divorce that happened all those years ago when dad packed up and left. It makes my heart ache because this building, this house, has become my safe place with all my memories. It's the one place I truly feel comfortable in, and now it's being taken from me.
Am I excited for the future? Not really, but mum's been really encouraging me that I can make new friends and meet new people.
We had about a month to get settled in before school started for me. The house was a bit far for mom's work, so she only kept one or two part time jobs while she went job hunting for a more permanent solution. Paul's work wasn't terribly far so he continued working regularly.
Mum tried to encourage me to introduce myself to others around the neighbourhood and try to see if there are any students around my age I can be friends with.
Needless to say, by the end of the month I didn't make any new friends. I felt guilty and admitted and apologized to my mother, but she just smiled and said it was okay. She asked me to try to make friends at school though.
The first day of school is always terrifying. Especially for me, since I'm transferring into the school half way and not when people usually enter a new school which is year 7 (6th grade), but here I am in year 10 (Grade 9) as the new student.
I enter the school, my hands gripping nervously onto my backpack straps. There aren't too many students here yet, I got here quite early. However, I'm not sure what I should do now that I'm here early. I take out my schedule and see that I have English first period. Pleased with that information, I look around the school until I find the classroom I'm supposed to be in. By now more students have entered the school and a few are waiting in front of the classroom.
I can feel my palms start to get clammy and start to tremble slightly at the thought of awkwardly waiting beside all of these unknown students. Not to mention if any of them attempt to talk to me I would probably freak out and break down.
The teacher let's us in exactly seven minutes before class officially starts, allowing us to choose our own seats. I decided to sit at the front in order to see, and I usually do better in class if I sit at the front.
Class is a few minutes away from starting when a couple of boys come in laughing and talking. There's one in particular that's really loud, joking and making exaggerated gestures with his arms. There's three of them in the group, and the desks are two people per table. The loud one makes eye contact with me briefly before I look away in embarrassment. Oh no, was I staring? I hope not, they were just so loud compared to the quiet class.
The loud one says something to his friends before heading over to my table. Oh no, is he going to get mad because I was looking at him? I can feel my stomach flip in fear as he dumps his stuff on the table, grinning at me.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Hey! My name's Ethan. Is anyone sitting here?" He asks, his voice bright and cheery. I pause for a moment, startled by his forwardness, before shaking my head. Ethan sits down gleefully and turns towards me.
"What's your name?"
"Um... Liam." I cringe inwardly at how insecure I sound.
"Hi Liam. Do you like English?" He seems to have noticed that I'm not one to talk much, as his volume has lowered considerably and he's not as "in your face" as before.
"It's... yeah. Guess so." I mumble. He smiles in response, which I'm not too sure of. He's probably going to get fed up with my incompetent replies.
"English isn't bad for me, but I'd much rather be playing an instrument or designing something. What are your interests?"
"Music..." His face seems to light up at the fact that we have something in common, but he doesn't get the chance to say anymore because the teacher has started talking.
