Learning To Love (bxb) ✔️

Chapter 5

Theo and Brianna ^^

Liam's POV

After that, year 10 wasn't too bad. I had Brianna and Theo in a few of my other classes, and now that I had three friends, I wasn't always by myself.

I must admit, it felt really good to have friends.

I still wasn't very close to them. They knew next to nothing about me simply because I was always hesitant to talk.

Ethan didn't seem to mind much. He always gave me chances to talk, but if I didn't take them he could prattle on about whatever he was chatting about. I quite liked that arrangement. I wasn't a talkative person, but I loved listening to what people had to say.

You learn a lot when you listen. In just a week, I know that Ethan has a sister named Sasha. She's ten, and you can tell Ethan loves her a lot, despite him constantly talking about how annoying she is.

Ethan loves maths, art, and technology. He aspires to be an architect or something similar in the future. He also loves music and playing the piano. Ethan's terrible at sports though. As much as he doesn't mind exercising, and is willing to do it on a regular basis, there's something about his coordination that just doesn't allow him to play sports well. Oh! And his birthday is October 4th.

Theo is an only child with loving parents. His birthday is September 8th, and he really loves cooking, and baking in particular. Theo hums a lot, whether consciously or absentmindedly when he's doing tasks.

He hates being called a nerd and is actually socially awkward, like me. However, he's a lot better compared to me because he can talk like a regular person, but he just doesn't like approaching new people in new situations.

Brianna is also an only child. She loves music too and plays violin really well. She started since she was five. Brianna's birthday is March 26th. She's very loyal, but stubborn and isn't afraid to get into arguments. She wants to be in the business field someday.

Brianna also loves to play video games and is apparently pretty good at them. She's had a few relationships in the past, but none of them were serious nor did they last very long.

Ethan and Brianna tend to talk the most in group conversations, and have the ability to bicker endlessly about a certain topic. Theo's more quiet but is willing to talk for a long time about topics he's passionate about.

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After that, life continued on as normal. I had friends who I would hang out with regularly, but Bella was still my best friend. My relationship with Paul didn't improve by much. We talked sometimes, but avoided conversation when it wasn't necessary. I started seeing mum a bit more, which was really nice. 

She found a permanent job as a kindergarten teacher at a school nearby our house. It's very amusing to listen to what the kids in her class do on a daily basis. Now that she has regular hours and a husband that's also working to support the family, mum quit any other jobs she had before in order to dedicate herself to becoming a teacher.

However, my normal life changed when I was 17.

For around three years now, I've known and accepted that I was gay. I figured I should probably come out to mum and Paul soon, but I always lacked the courage to do so. Ethan's always going on about a cute girl or guy, and Theo's occasionally mentioned an occasional "I think he's attractive" here and there, and it's gotten me thinking about being open with my sexuality.

Not to mention that I feel like I'm hiding a part of myself from my family, and I feel guilty for doing that. 

It was a Saturday night, after dinner when everyone was just relaxing. Normally I'd be holed up in my room doing work or something else while mum and Paul sit in the living room watching TV or talking. Bella likes to hang out with me in my room. 

However, this night, I wasn't holed up in my room like usual.

"Mom? ... Paul? I- I want to talk to you guys." I mumble quietly, standing at the edge of the living room. Bella weaves around my legs as I stand, her presence is very comforting.

"Oh, sure. What's going on Liam?" My mum smiles, silently inviting me over to sit next to her. I don't. I'm too nervous for that. What if she gets angry? I wouldn't want to be in close proximity and get hurt. Wait- am I really considering that she'd hit me?

"I uh... wanted to confess something." I gulp. Wow, it sounds like I've committed a brutal crime or something.

"Go on, we're listening." Mum coaxes gently. Paul looks at me and nods in encouragement.

"... I'm gay."

"You're... what?" My mum asks, her eyes wide in disbelief. Paul has no reaction.

"I like guys." I mumble, my self confidence dwindling rapidly.

"Liam, you- this... this whole thing..." I can see mum desperately looking for words to say, trying to string together a coherent sentence in reaction to the information I've just told her.

Silence falls over the house for the next few minutes. Mum has gotten up off the couch by now, and she paces back and forth a bit, muttering softly to herself.

"This is just a phase, Liam." She finally turns to me, fully confident in what she has to say. I can feel my heart start hurting. This- this isn't a phase!

"You'll grow out of it. You're just confused, that's all. You're not- you can't be gay. I won't allow it. I'm... I'm not going to be a failure of a... mother." She's on the verge of tears now, and I can't help but feel guilty. Paul is sat stone still on his position on the couch, not making eye contact with anyone.

I can feel my hands start to tremble, and a sick feeling starting to form at the pit of my stomach. My own mother doesn't accept me. I can feel tears well up so quickly behind my eyes it almost hurts, but I don't want to cry. Not now, where they can all see it.

"Mum-" 

"Don't. Don't talk to me right now. I- I need time. Yes, I just need... I need time." My mother mutters, walking past without looking at me. She disappears upstairs, and I glance at Paul nervously. 

I flinch as he lets out a loud sigh before turning to me.

"Look, I know we're not on the best of terms, but I want you to know that I'm cool with it." He murmurs. I blink in shock for a few seconds before feeling my shoulders sag in relief.

"Thank you." I whisper quietly. I wasn't even sure he heard it, but then I saw him nod once.