Learning To Love (bxb) ✔️

Chapter 21

Michael ^^

Liam's POV

Rowan and I met up to make lunch together. It was really fun to try and teach Rowan how to cook fried noodles. We cooked at my house this time and Rowan got acquainted to Bella, who seemed to take to him easy enough.

Paul came back about halfway through, and met Rowan for the first time. He sent me a knowing look, making me shift my gaze.

After that he headed upstairs to leave us be, which I was secretly grateful for.

"So, we're going to meet everyone else tomorrow, right?" Rowan asks as we finish cooking. The noodles didn't turn out bad this time. Although it did take a lot of guidance from me for Rowan to not burn everything to a crisp.

"Um, yeah." I reply.

"Well.. I was wondering if..." Rowan trails off. I glance at him. He looks unsure and hesitant, like he's trying to tell me something important.

"I wanted to tell you something, about myself, and I really hope this doesn't change the way you see me, because I really like hanging out with you. I feel like a lot of people see me as this 'perfect guy with everything he always wanted in life', and I mean, you already know that's not completely true, with my parents and all..." He pauses before continuing. "A lot of people don't really know this because I don't like sharing it, but I feel like we're close enough. And I trust you."

I nod at him to continue, my chest feeling warm at his compliments.

"When I was in my second year of uni... it was rough." He admits, "I came out to my parents that year as bisexual. Needless to say, they took it poorly. They told me how ashamed I should be of myself... that I wasn't worthy of this family." He whispers the last part. I already feel my heart start to ache in sympathy.

"At first they didn't know what it meant. When I told them, they basically thought it was 'worse than being gay'. They... thought it was just some stupid excuse to... mess around with anyone I wanted. Thought it was... indecisive and-" Rowan pauses as his voice wavers, like he's trying to hold back tears.

"They thought it was slutty of me to be that way." He chokes out, not meeting my gaze. I could feel my heart break at the thought of what Rowan must have had to endure, the names and belittlement... the isolation.

Before I even realized it, my hand reaches out to grasp his hand in a comforting gesture. He glances at me before sending me a small smile. His eyes are filled with hurt and I could tell that he was holding back some tears.

"So, this caused me a lot of emotional damage, obviously. My oldest sister didn't really talk to me much. Not that she hated me or anything, but she was kind of out of the loop since she already moved out and had a career and everything. Kaylee was really cool with it and helped me out a lot. She was a source of support for me when I needed it. Unfortunately she couldn't really do much to change our parents' views since they're both pretty stubborn, but she tried her best." 

"Uh, there isn't really an easy way to say it, but it caused my grades to plummet. I actually failed an exam in one of my courses in second year. It was so jarring for me, since I'm used to such high marks... but I remember thinking that it just made me even more of a failure of a son. I was really lucky that my professor was insanely nice that day or something, and offered to quickly let me retake it and destroy my failed one like it never happened. I'm pretty sure she broke the rules to do that, so I'm really grateful." 

"After that I managed to maintain high grades by completely throwing myself at my studies, but my mental health suffered a lot. My parents were really cold towards me, even more than they are now. They were always raving on about my sisters and how successful they were and how amazing children they were when I was in earshot, so that shot my confidence a lot. I... had quite a number of breakdowns in second and third year of university because of it. I had lost a lot of support, but I was grateful for the support that remained."

"Michael helped me a lot. We weren't rooming together in those years but he came over a lot just to check on me and make sure I was okay. Kaylee skyped me a ton since she wasn't able to be with me most of the time. Of course, my other friends were nice too... but yeah, it took me a while to recover from that." He ended with a grimace.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." I whisper. I tentatively give Rowan a hug, going slowly enough for him to back out if he doesn't want it. He accepts it though, wrapping his arms around me and burying his head in my hair.

"Thank you." He murmurs softly. His scent and warmth envelopes me, making my eyes close for a few moments.

We don't say anything for a while, just hugging each other and relishing the comfort. He pulls back eventually and I can see his eyes glistening with tears.

"I'm sorry. That was a lot at once to take in." He sucks in a breath. 

"Rowan," I say firmly, "don't ever be sorry for something like this. Ever. This is something huge, something personal that many people have great difficulty opening up about. If anything, I'm touched that you trust me enough to share this. So, thank you for sharing this piece of yourself with me." I send him a small smile, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes. Damn, why am I so emotional?

"You're an amazing person, Liam." Rowan says, his lips twitching upwards. With that sentence I can feel a blush arising on my cheeks. Is it possible to train yourself not to blush?

We were rudely interrupted in that moment by the sound of my phone buzzing. I glance at it and see that Ethan is calling me. I let out a sigh too soft for Rowan to hear before picking it up.

"Hi."

"Hey Li! Just confirming that you're coming over on Sunday right?"

"Um, yeah. Everyone's going right?" I ask with a quick glance at Rowan.

"Yep. You, me, Theo, Michael, Brie, Sean, your absolute hunk of a boyfriend..." 

It took me a few seconds to realize he was referencing Rowan, and when I did my cheeks pinked even more.

"Ethan!"

"What? What did I say?" His voice was teasing. He wanted me to say it out loud, didn't he? Does he somehow know that Rowan's right next to me?

"You know what you said. And fine, what time were we supposed to meet?" 

"Oh, it was supposed to be 7? After dinner. If it's fine with you we wanted to stay until late, possibly a sleepover if everyone's cool with it, but the sleepover part's just an idea. Since I know you don't usually stay out late." 

"Uh, sure. It's not like I have school or anything right now." I say. A sleepover sounds amazing. I haven't had one, ever. Hopefully my parents are on board with it.

"Great! And don't worry, if we do have a sleepover you don't have to bring a bag so you and Rowan can share one." 

"Ethan! That's not happening!" I hiss, silently praying that Rowan can't hear anything Ethan is saying.

 "Boo. Anyway, I'll keep you updated. See ya!"

"Bye." I huffed, ending the call.