And When He Is Here // hayes grier

Chapter 33

↠hayes

I was running through the automatic doors to her hospital room. Nash wasn't to far behind me.

243

243

Room 243

I kept repeating in my head.

I was debating on taking the elevator or stairs. I wasn't sure which one would be faster. "Elevator let's go." I heard nash say. I followed him and repeatedly pushed the ^ button. "You know pushing it more than once doesn't make it go faster." I rolled my eyes without looking at him. My hands wouldn't stop shaking. The elevator finally dinged and slid open. Many people piled out and me and Nash stepped in being the only ones inside.

I again rapidly pushed 2 waiting impatiently for the elevator to move and open again. Once it did I looked at the sign to see which way the room numbers went. 200-250 went left so that's the way I went. I ran to her room but I could still hear Nash's footsteps behind me. I finally approached the room. I found many people waiting outside with worried looks on their faces. I looked inside to see an empty unmade bed. I made contact with B's mom and I'm guessing she could tell it was confused, "she's just getting some tests done." she explained. But the worried look was still on her face. Along with every one else.

"Then why do you all look like you just saw your grandmother naked?" I heard nash try to cover up his laugh by a cough but it wasn't working. No one was answering me. Just looking at each other with sorry faces. "What's going on?" I tried to keep calm but I felt like they were hiding something from me that could effect B's life. Or mine. "Answer me!"

"Whoa buddy calm down." I swatted Nash's hand away.

"No. Nash. They just need to tell me what's going on!" I yelled. Her mom sighed and gave into it.

"Hayes... Bradie," her voice cracked and I knew I was going to hate was she was going to say next. "Bradie lost her memory. She doesn't remember you the was she used too. She still remembers Dylan being alive and she doesn't remember..." And that's all I heard. I froze in my spot. My throat became dry and those words kept repeating over and over and over in my head. There was this ringing in my ears and I felt the room spinning. There was this gnawing in my stomach and a pounding in my head and all I wanted to do was scream but I couldn't. Like no words could come out of my mouth.

lost her memory...

lost her memory...

lost her memory...

she doesn't remember you...

not the way she used to...

she remembers Dylan being alive...

"....Hayes. Hayes. Hayes!" sounds in the real world now became clear and so did my focus. Nash was standing in the frame in front of me looking worried. I brushed past him looking forward but not focusing. My arms were just hanging from my shoulders and all my feet were doing was moving back and forth. My body was numb. And I just wanted to scream at everybody and the world. How could this happen to her? She doesn't deserve this! She's gone through so much shit she doesn't need this. No one needs this. What was the purpose of this? Where's the everything happens for a reason at? What bullshit reason is this? I want to scream, cry, punch the world, punch the idiot who ran the red light.

I put my back against the wall and slowly slid down it. I rested my arms in my knees and buried my head in the dark open space. My lips started to quiver and I wasn't even going to bother to try and pull my self together.

I heard someone sit down next to me and I figured it was either nash or my mom left work early and came. "My mom sent me over here to talk to you."

Bradie.

I lifted my head and looked to see B sitting next to me staring at the white wall across from us. A smile came on my face but I knew I couldn't hug her. I knew I couldn't kiss her. And I knew I couldn't tell her how much I've missed her. No matter how much I wanted too.

2 weeks ago we would stay up until 3 in the morning talking. Today I don't even know how to say hey. Have you ever wanted to ask a question but you didn't because you knew your heart wouldn't be able to take the answer?

"The last thing I remember is me and Ryan being on a roller coaster at Six Flags but I can't remember getting off the ride." She paused for a moment. I could tell she was still trying to wrap her mind around everything that's happened. She wasn't looking at me either. I could tell. When she looks at me I get this feeling. I don't have that right now. "Dylan was with us too. It's scary. Having to be told that your best friend isn't your best friend anymore."

"I know the feeling." I sigh. Feeling empty and my body still numb.

I got the feeling and looked at her too. "You do?" she asked.

I gulped, "yeah." She had that look on her face that she always has when's she's confused. "I was told about 20 minutes ago."

"Where we best friends?"

"Yeah, yeah we were." I stood up abs shook my head. "What am I saying?! We are best friends B! We're more than that! We're in love!" I yelled. Her green eyes showed hurt but I had to explain to her. She has to remember us.

"Don't call me that!" I stood up and looked up at me. She looked annoyed.

"Don't call you what!? B? I've always called you that!"

"Listen here. The only person to ever call me that was Dylan!" she fought back. "And we're not in love either! I just learned your name and just talked to you for the first time!"

"That's what you thought! You used to think that there was no possible way you could be in love at this age until you met me. You're Bradie who won't tell me her real name. You're the Bradie that calls me at 3 in the morning because a character in your book died. The one that cracks her knuckles when's she's nerves. The girl who turns her music all the way up when she has both of her headphones in. The Bradie who can talk about lacrosse for hours. The Bradie that loves wearing my sweatshirts and loves the axe I use. The one that will write in a notebook for hours and completely loose track of time. The girl who thinks she can't express her feelings but when she gets a pen and a piece of paper she can like it's nobody's business. The girl who's mind knows what she's doing before she does. You're the Bradie that I'm completely in love with and the one that everything reminds me of you. Because no matter what I'll still choose you." She stood there silent. Just staring at me.

"We must have really been something huh?"

"Hell yeah we were." I resumed my spot on the floor and she followed. I can't explain how painful it is to wait for something that will never come. And she will never come.

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soooooo........

please don't hate me 😫

it's not over yet don't worry. But I do need your guys' help. Do you guys want me to continue this book or make a sequel?

-Alex