What A Drag... || Shikamaru x reader

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Edited: 02/06/24

Reuploaded: 06/06/24

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"Well, infiltration accomplished, actually, it was easier than I thought," Jiraiya said as we entered the Hidden Rain through the entrance I used and his frog.

"Don't get cocky, Jiraiya, that's the easy bit. Walking around without being noticed by the watcher is the hard part," I told him sternly as I pulled my mask up over my face again, best not let people recognise me, he looked at me confused.

"Watcher?" he asked.

"Yeah, the guard dog of the leader of the Akatsuki. Pain. She's a strange girl, void of any emotions, uses paper to attack. She has eyes everywhere," I told him, his eyes widened slightly before he returned to his calm and cool demeanour.

"Understood," he nodded before we continued to walk further into the village that could either be our end, or an important tide point in the very obviously incoming possible war.

We went through the village and hid ourselves under horribly styled raincoats that had an awful inside.

"Oo—that's hot," Jiraiya commented as he bounced a pork bun at me, he was right it was hot, my hands burned quickly, "I'll take two of these pork buns please, granny."

"Why thank you, I don't think I've seen either of your faces before. Not from around here are you?" the old lady in the stall asked as we stepped a bit further inside and pulled our hoods down. I pulled my mask down to eat the pork bun.

"No we're not, I'm a travelling writer and she's an artist," he pointed his thumb at me, I had a big bag, so he just made me look like an artist because of that... Good cover up but I hope she doesn't ask for any of my work, I suck at art so bad.

"We journey around from place to place, and I write about cuisine from where I happen to be visiting while she sketches out sceneries that catch her attention," Jiraiya continued to stretch out his lie over my head before taking a bite out of his food, I followed his lead. Man was this pork bun delicious.

"Oh, I see, so tell me, how do you like my pork buns?" the old lady looked at Jiraiya with interest, I also do because I knew he was terrible at describing how much he liked food, it was just his weakness as a writer.

"Personally, I think it's delicious, ma'am," I told her with a smile, she sent me a delighted smile back before looking at Jiraiya.

"I must agree, they are quite delicious," Jiraiya agreed, "I had heard they were good but now that I've had one they're amazing!"

Wow, Jiraiya, is good after all!

His people skills and flattering are just at the top of the list... excluding the top flatterer: Kakashi sensei.

"Yes, I know, aren't they tasty." the old lady agreed.

"You know what, I would love to write about these in my magazine, would that be ok?" Jiraiya continued to play his part as a wondering foodie. I'd finished eating my bun and pulled my mask up again before he'd finished flattering the old lady. But both he and I knew we had to blend in, I could sense that Pain already knew we were here, I don't know whether Jiraiya had noticed it yet though.

"My pork buns would be in a magazine?" the old lady questioned, astonished.

"Yep, that's right and once I write about them, you'll never have a moment to yourself," Jiraiya told her.

"Ji," I called him but shortened his name so if we were being watched no one knew who he was by name at least, "we need to find a hotel, stop dawdling."

"Yes, yes, sorry n/n," he apologised before finishing his conversation and we walked away. I'm glad he used my nickname, or our lives might have gotten a bit more difficult, especially if any ninjas recognised my name. There are bounty hunters everywhere you go, no matter how hard you try to avoid them. They're always there.

I'm already breaking the rules and hiding my Snowflake Guardian mark, can't have my name be the thing that catches us out.

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"Did you see how they reacted to Hanzo's name?" Jiraiya asked as we walked and found a place to sit.

"Yes," I nodded before pointing at an origami angel or person hanging off a shop, "those are the eyes."

"I see," Jiraiya nodded. We were sat on a red bench under a red parasol. I was searching the area, using the water to search for a place to stay while Jiraiya spoke with people, asking about things here and there. When I zoned back to my body I opened my eyes to see Jiraiya heading towards a love cafe thing.

"Pervy sage," I felt my eyebrow twitching in annoyance. He looked at me absolutely baffled. I've never called him that, but Naruto told me a while back that when someone he thinks respects him calls him that, then he kind of combusts.

"Don't call me that. Did Naruto teach you that? Please don't call me that," he begged. I sighed and just shook my head before following him into the cafe.

The lady he called to sit with him he compared to Tsunade, I could already tell. All the ladies were giving him weird looks for bringing a teen in with him, but I ignored them. Truth be told I was looking through the eyes of my ice clone I'd created before we went in, and I'd zoned back to the café from time to time to see Jiraiya getting more and more drunk by the minute, but he seemed to be getting information as well.

Apparently Hanzo the salamander is a curse word around here. Lord Pain also makes it rain constantly.

"He's already watching us," Jiraiya told me. I nodded.

Not just his guard dog, the woman with the paper in her hair, but the leader himself. Pain. He's known we're here on his own this entire time.

"It won't be long before they start searching through the papers to spot us, narrow in on our location," I told him before we stood to go and find a bar. Jiraiya decided that the lady who was entertaining him would be the best course of getting information, so we found an empty space and he summoned a toad, transformed it into a bar and then turned himself into a bar tender and then myself into a stool. I've never been so humiliated before.

This is fucking weird.

I'm a stool, inside a bar, that is actually a frogs mouth while Jiraiya is stood with a ridiculous get up that includes a terrible mustache that I so badly want to get a photo of... and then rip off his face because it looks so stupid. Naruto would love this.

I'm so bored already. I have to stay deadly still, or it'll look weird.

Imagine that, you're coming into a bar after a long day of work and then all of a sudden, before you can get yourself drunk, a stool is moving, and you start questioning your sanity and whether you have been drunk the whole time.

Maybe I should become a moving stool.

At least it'll entertain me a bit.