Being gay is a curse when the homophobia you grew up with was so bad that you're homophobic yourself. Especially when you're into unavailable guys like your roommate, whose girlfriend is everything you're not (though appearances can be deceiving). S...
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It took Carl a while to respond to my message.
At first, I thought he was ignoring me, which I was totally fine with, because it probably wasn't a good idea to get involved with him anyway, but then I realized he must have been busy—making videos or something like that. When he finally did reply, it was several hours past midnight (which told me a little bit about his sleeping schedule), though I didn't see it until the next morning. Right after I saw the notification on my phone, I subtly but quickly left the kitchen so I could reply.
Carl: Nate who? from the bar? sorry i get a lot of messages and you don't have a profile picture...
Me: I ate noodles with you and you said my eyebrows are a God-given gift
Carl: yes hi that's true they are
Carl: what's up
Me: I don't know why I'm messaging you honestly
Carl didn't respond to that. Not that I expected him to. It wasn't exactly something you could respond to. He waited patiently for me to keep talking, but I... I had no idea what to say. So I said the only thing that came to mind—the thing that had been on my mind for days.
Me: You're transgender
Carl: yes i am
And then I drew a blank again... What was I supposed to say? I mean, what did I even want with Carl? Why did I send him a message? Was I talking to him because I was interested in finding out more about the gender thing or because I was interested in him? Or both? Was he even interested in me, when we talked for several hours in the bar, or was I just imagining things? Was I seeing demons where there were none?
I dragged a hand down my face with a sigh.
Me: I have a question
Carl: yes?
Me: Why did you talk to me?
Carl: why not? i wanted to
Me: Why?
Carl: idk you intrigued me i guess
Carl: i wanted to get to know you and i kinda wanted to ask you out too haha
Carl: but i always have to ask... :')
Carl: is the transgender thing a problem?
Was it?
I wasn't sure what to think of it, honestly. I had to admit, it was kind of impossible to see Carl as a woman, even if I hadn't known what I now knew, because he was just so... not feminine. At all.
