The QuarterBack~ A Grayson Dolan love story

Chapter 38

"I can't believe I actually thought that there was a chance you'd love me back!" I say as a tear comes streaming down my face.

I should probably tell you what happened. Let's skip back to earlier this morning

I walked into school, it was just a regular Monday filled with laziness and exhaustion. I did what I do everyday, I went to class, worked, ate lunch with Julia , Jacob, Cindy and Ethan.

It was the end of the day, I of course had football practise, and like usual, I wait for all the guys to use the football locker room and get out before I entered.So I did, I waited and waited, I looked at the field and thought to myself that everyone seems to be there. I knocked and heard no one. So I entered

I began taking off my uniform, and I was left in my underwear. I put on my patted pants and began tying them up. "Hey!" I hear a voice behind me, then I, in shock, quickly turn around. "Woah hey, you scared me" I say to Gray. "God!"he says as he looks at me weirdly. "You okay?" I ask. "Better than okay, Listen Ivy, I wanted to talk to you about what happened this weekend" he says as he gets closer. "Woah!" I say as he gets really close, all I wanted to do was kiss him, but I couldn't. I wanted to tell him.

"I know you think it's just a one time thing but can it maybe be more than that, like if you want can we do what we did this weekend again?" He asks, "wow is that what you think of me as?" He shrugs and I scoff. "I can't believe I actually thought there was a chance that you'd love me back" I grab my bag and wipe my tear. He then looked so surprised with a shock on his face. Yeah trust me, I'm shocked as well.

"Ivy Wait" he says and holds my hand. "To what? For you to ask me if we can make out and then for you to go to another one of your daily hookups, no, I don't think you know this, but I'm not like the other girls you go around with, heck I'm not even as pretty as them, so what is it to you? Why me?" I ask frustrated, he begins saying something but in interrupt him "You know I actually thought you were different than all the other guys at this school, turns out, you're a bigger jerk!" I say then leave the room.

I wasn't having it with him, I don't know something just triggered inside of me when he asked if we could make out. He knew that I never open up my heart to anyone, yet he used me, and for what, a hookup? Can't he ask one of the million of girls who are trying to get with him everyday. I feel so dumb, how can I fall for such a person, and the first person I fall in love with too? Why!!

I groan then storm out of the school in anger, I get in my car and drive. There's only one single place I used to go to when I'm upset and right now because my stupid ass, I can't even go there because it will remind me of Grayson and how he kissed me.

I just, I don't understand, Usually if I needed someone's shoulder, I would have Nate but right now, no one! I feel so alone all the time, how come no one likes me for me, not to just use me then throw me once they're done. I drive up to an empty parking lot and then park, this was all so much for me to handle. I was beginning to feel choked, like my airways are clogged, this was a familiar feeling, one I would get during the time dad died.

I quickly remembered what Nate told me, Breathe. I opened the car door and grasped for air. I began trying to breathe slowly, to catch my breath and return from the panic mode that I was on. I then quickly began to feel better but started to cry. I wiped my tears away and sat in the car seat. I was so angry, at myself, this weird thought of not being good enough came crippling in my mind, it always does at tough times like these. This year had been the worse, 3 guys leaving me plus my dad. Why?!

Did I do something, do I have something that makes me repel people?

I got a call from Grayson, actually a few calls. I never answered, the last thing I need is for me to feel shittier about myself.