BACK TO LOVE.

0⃣9⃣

Ayanda sat in the waiting room, waiting on her therapist who was still busy with another client. She got a call from her husband and spoke with him for a few minutes before hanging up and began going through pictures on her phone. She came upon one when they were at a party in high school. It was three years before they began dating. The therapist called her in just as she began to wonder how her life would have been if they had never dated.

' How has your week been?'

' One step at a time.'

' Do you feel any of these sessions are helping.'

' I cannot say helping but it's good to talk to someone. I am glad that I listened to Emily. I just wish I could talk to my husband but I cannot even look at him. He probably thinks I blame him or something but the guilt is the reason I can't sleep in the same room as him.'

' You know eventually you'll both have to sit down and talk. To talk about the past and present.'

Their session went on for about an hour before they said their goodbyes. Ayanda called the driver and headed to Emily's where she had left Ambrosia. Who smiled hard as soon as she saw her mommy walk into her friends house.

' How's it mommy's little princess...'

She playfully cooed to her babygirl.

' How was your session today?'

' It was okay, I talked about my marriage and she helped me think of ways to bring back the love and spark.'

' Were they helpful?'

' I don't know since I haven't tried any but I hope they will be. Right now I just need to sit down with him and talk. I just don't know how or where to start.'

' Why?'

' You know, we've become so distant. It started when Amber was kidnapped and it got worse after her death. It's mostly my fault and please don't tell me it's not Emily because he tried to get me help. He tried and I pushed him away because of my guilt.'

' Bae Axel loves you too much to let you go.  Just talk to him and please get out of that guest room.'

Ayanda knew her friend was right. She recalled how when Axel proposed to her she promised never to become the wife who was too tired for her husband or children and lately she was too numb for her husband, her children and life in totality.

' Yeah I've neglected my family for far too long. Can I get a glass of water,'

Emily handed her a glass of water and sat back down watching her breastfeed.

' You haven't forgotten about our girls vacation in three months, right?'

' No but what happened to the couple's retreat?'

' We moved it to a well after the funeral and he gave your tickets to some other couple. Didn't Axel tell you?'

Emily explained

' He probably did and I just forgot. You know how I've been mentally not present.'

' Do you think you can join us?'

' We have been doing this with you guys since highschool. We will be there.'

' You know I never understood how you two went on a couple's retreat without partners...'

Ayanda smiled, reminiscing about all the memories they had made on those trips.

' We paid."

They both laughed.

'We really need this trip more than ever.'

Ayanda nodded in agreement.

'You're right. I need this trip. I need some time to reconnect with myself and with my friends and most importantly, I need to find a way to let go of this guilt and be present for my family again.'