im freaking out cause I don't deserve any of you, nor her reading that thinking about how I didnt answer her last text, nor him who's waiting for me to tell him why im not feeling good. I'm a bitch... And that's how everyone should treat me ... Some of them already understood that.. And its not because of tonight, nor because I drank. It's cause sometimes I realize how unworthy I am and how people shouldn't care... So please go away please leave me. I already hurt her, and I hurt him tonight when I acted like a slut and accepted the attention of this other guy. Yes I was mad, at myself more than at anyone else... But still I shouldn't have done that. It's okay. And even if you tell me "it's okay", "that you were just angry", I know its isn't! How is it you love me more than I fucking love myself. I fell hard for you I really did. But now im realizing how I dont deserve you and how im gonna hurt you when i'll go back in Switzerland. If only I could stay just a bit longer... Because I love you. I really do... And even now, you care, you care like nobody ever did, you care about me and how I feel... What did I do to deserve you? Well im gonna tell you, I didnt do anything and that's why I dont deserve you baby. What will happen when you realize that you deserve better? That I can not give you everything you need everything you want. Please live your best life without me... I'm not leaving ou far from that. but I just want you to know that if at some point you think our relationship has to stop I won't be mad at you, because I know at some point you'll see. At some point you'll notice how you deserve better baby. And even tho I wish this time would never come I know it will, and when it does please just tell me and dont ever feel guilty about it cause im already so proud to tell people that you were part of my life and that I could call you mine for sometime. I love you baby and I will always... But I know that I'm a mess and that you're just so perfect. That you're great and I ain't. Dont try to tell me otherwise. I won't listen... I love you 3000 baby always remember that... You're everything I wish for, and everything I will ever wish for. But I know that people like you dont belong with people like me... I just love you so much.
From your always anxious girlfriend.
YOU ARE READING
Love, Lied and Lost...
RandomThis isn't a story, it isn't happy, it isn't sad... It's just plain me and no one else. I love writing and I just needed this book to write everything that I want to tell but that I have no one to. I don't want you to enjoy or to tell me can relate...
