Love, Lied and Lost...

Listen!

Everything could be so much easier. I could just give up,  not care about anything anymore... Or even not be here anymore. I do love them, but why the fuck are they always on my back?? I have the best grade, I lost the weigh they though I gained, I take care of myself, I clean my room! I do everything they fucking wan me to do? Then why the fuck are they always behind me, commenting everything I do? I just want them to give me liberties, I fucking have two hours of lesson on top os school, plus one hour where the teacher doesn't even care about the class and tells me to take her place 'cause she doesn't know how to help the others student. I just want them to remember how they were at my age... To actually for once think about how I feel, and how I want to live my life. Yes maybe I'm just emotional, maybe I'm too young to actually know everything about life. But if politicians created laws for children, maybe we should try and respect them. One of them is that we have the right to say everything we want. And if we have the right to talk then you have the duty to listen. Because if I speak up, that means I felt the need to, it means I feel. So please do listen when I tell you I don't want to go, listen when I cry to you, listen when I had a bad day and just need you to be here, listen when the music of death rings to your ear. Listen when I tell you I'm feeling bad! Just fucking listen! I'm not gonna lie to you right now jumping feels like a good option, cause I can't take it anymore, my mind is just wondering around. And when I tell you I feel bad, all you answer is that I'm too emotional, that what I say is not even true. But how could you know?? Are you the one that is feeling terribly bad? Are you the one who wants to die? Are you the one who has to go to school every fucking day and act as if everything is fine? Are you the one who has o wear a fake smile? Are you the one who feels stressed every night because she's sure everything she did is actually wrong?? Are you?! No you aren't... And you're always telling me how you were a teenager once, how you grew, how now you know that your parents were right... you're always telling me how I should think like you, what if my child did that? What if I had to work everyday like you do? ... Why don't you try for once to think like I do, it should be way easier for you cause you went through all that once already, but I didn't. I have no idea what it's like to have a child, to have him misbehave, to get paid to work, work a job you choose. Please for once just listen to me when I cry at night because all I want is to be able to rest, just for one day. Listen when I whisper to your ear that it's too much... Listen even if you think I'm wrong, even if you know I am. Just listen, listen to tell me you're here, and even if you don't please tell me you understand. 

Because right now everything is too much, because right now the only way I see to be able to stop feeling that is to rest in peace for eternity. Because right now, I'm gonna give up, because right now I need someone to listen to my cries in the deep blue night. Because right now I have to go dry my tears so my private math teacher can see me without asking why I have puffy red eyes. 

By a Black Bubble that is gonna pop.