You'll never experience the pain Im going through! You'll never know how hurt I am... and you'll never ever feel that way!
Why do you think I'm not going through the same thing? Why do you say I'll never know this pain?
Cause for you to know how painful it is... you would have to love someone as much as I love you ... and it's not possible cause I would die for you... I would give up on everything I have just to be able to live by your side ... cause I feel in love... and i loved you even after everything and what's the most fucked up about me it's that I still do! And it's not fair... it's not fair that you get to live like everything is okay and I don't! And it's unfair that every time I fucking get angry I just end up thinking about how I am a bad Girlfriend and that I don't deserve you... and hating myself just to be able to love you is a pain I really wish you'll never have to go through ... cause that's how in love I am... they say we have to learn to love ourselves before we can love someone else ... well I Guess they never loved like I love you, because I loved you so much I almost forgot to hate myself. And I know I'm not allowed to die but I wish I could I wish it was easy... cause I just need to feel nothing I just want to disappear for at least a day just give me a day ... to actually breath without feeling like someone is choking me. I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME LOVE YOU ... I HATE YOU FOR NOT LETTING ME GO, FOR KEEPING ME AROUND... I hate you but I hate myself even more and that hurts. Cause even with all the hate I have I can't get you of my mind... out of my heart... cause even if I hate you I just love you more. We teach us how to love... but no one ever thought us how to stop loving how to keep on going when we felt like dying. Cause no one cared about us being happy, they just cared about them feeling loved so they told us how to love them ... If I had the choice between loving you and breath. I would use my last breath to say " I love you".
From a heart broken black bubble.
YOU ARE READING
Love, Lied and Lost...
RandomThis isn't a story, it isn't happy, it isn't sad... It's just plain me and no one else. I love writing and I just needed this book to write everything that I want to tell but that I have no one to. I don't want you to enjoy or to tell me can relate...
