A Place to Fall: Falling Series 1 (skinny!Steve x Bucky Barnes College AU)

Fifty-Nine

"So," Bucky started. Ruffling his own tresses, "Um." Chewing on his lower lip, Bucky slipped off his sneakers and asked, "How... have you been?"

"I've been... okay," Steve shrugged. Despite his best efforts to appear confident in that moment, Steve couldn't help but hold himself as he asked, "How, how about you?"

Nodding, Bucky continued worrying his lower lip with his teeth. Steve wondered if Bucky knew just how irresistible he was in that moment. How difficult he made it for Steve to stay back. To keep his distance. To protect his heart.

"Been better," Bucky honestly answered with a scoff directed at himself. Briefly pressing his lips together as he thought, Bucky asked, "Can we talk?"

"I thought that's what we were doing," Steve stated even though he knew what Bucky was suggesting.

"Right," Bucky replied, holding himself now.

Steve wasn't sure if it was intentional. If Bucky was trying to make Steve feel sorry for him. And even though Steve's brain was telling him that it was a ruse. To ignore Bucky's obvious suffering the same way that he ignored his texts. Steve's heart though...

So, Steve took a seat on the futon. Understanding that he should keep his distance from Bucky. But also being more than just a little delighted when Bucky crossed the room to take a seat on the futon. While before they would've sat with minimal space between each other, now there was plenty. Practically sitting on complete opposites of the futon.

"I'm sorry," Bucky finally stated. Chancing a glance at Steve from beneath his enviously long, dark lashes, Bucky continued, "I am. So sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I just --" Taking in a deep breath, trying to ground himself, Bucky ran his hand through his messy hair "-- I thought that you were doing the same."

With furrowed brows, Steve asked, "Doing the same?"

"Yeah," Bucky confirmed. To clarify further, Bucky added, "Seeing other people."

"Bucky, I --" only wanted you... only want you, is what Steve wanted to add, but didn't. Couldn't. He couldn't risk getting hurt again. Couldn't risk falling if no one was there to catch him. So, instead, Steve turned his attention to his hands in his lap and honestly answered, "I'm not that kind of person."

Bucky softly chuckled, almost like he was trying to ease the mood as he answered, "I kind of gathered that."

Steve just nodded. He wasn't sure where this was going. Or if he should even say anything. After all, Bucky was the one that had been wanting to talk. So, Steve decided to just nod. Nod and wait to see what else Bucky had to say.

A part of Steve was desperate. Hopelessly devoted to Bucky. Wishing for Bucky to close the distance between them and kiss him. To make it all up to Steve. To prove that he only wanted Steve.

Another part was warning Steve though. Reminding him of the heartache that Bucky caused him. Of all the nights he had cried himself to sleep since finding out that Bucky wasn't as serious about Steve as he had hoped. That Bucky would just end up breaking his heart all over again. But the next time would be worse.

"So," Bucky started, looking expectantly at Steve. Why? What did that look mean? What did Bucky want? To pick up where they left off? To start over?

Wait, Steve's brows furrowed. Was Bucky letting Steve choose? Choose what they were to each other? Steve's heart stuttered in his chest, and his gaze dropped down to his lap again. There was nothing more that Steve wanted than to have what they used to have. No, not what they used to have. To have something better. Something more. A place to fall. A person to catch him.

"Friends?" Steve, instead offered. Not wanting to get his heart shattered any more than it already was.

A flash of regret washed over Bucky's expression, but he tried to recover fast as he smirked. Extending his hand to Steve, Bucky agreed, "Friends."

Looking down at Bucky's hand for a brief moment, Steve debated whether he should take Bucky's hand. Especially since this would be the first time he's touched Bucky in almost two months. Yet, Steve decided, what the hell, and took Bucky's hand. Shaking on their agreement.

"So," Bucky prompted holding his own hand once Steve had stopped shaking it. Biting his own lower lip and smirking over at Steve, Bucky bashfully confessed, "I don't know what to do now."

"Well, what do you do with your other friends?" Steve innocently asked. However, when the blush crossed Bucky's face and the brunet purposely averted his gaze, Steve understood immediately because he, himself, had been one of those friends. Instantly covering his face to hide his own blush, Steve chuckled, "Forget I even asked."

Chuckling, Bucky nodded in agreement. For a moment, the two just sat there. Unsure where this was going to go next. Of course, that didn't stop Bucky from teasing, "Should we kiss and make up now?"

"Oh my god," Steve good-humoredly scoffed. He took a tissue from the box on the mini fridge and rolled it into a ball before tossing it at Bucky.

Bucky chewed on his lower lip and, a bit solemnly to Steve's ears, admitted, "Sam said you've been hanging out with Brock."

Steve's eyes widened. He hadn't expected Bucky caring enough to ask. Let alone sit around and talk about him. He really hadn't thought about what he would tell Sam or Clint, but he especially didn't know what to tell Bucky.

Of course, when Steve didn't answer, Bucky could figure it out for himself. Bucky tried to sincerely be pleased for Steve as he said, "That's, uh, that's just great. I mean it. I'm happy for you." Then, because Bucky was Bucky, he teased, "I guess you can thank me later."

"What for?" Steve scoffed.

"Because," Bucky relaxed a bit in his seat, "You and Brock would still be enemies if I didn't orchestrate that double date."

For so long Steve tried to forget about that double date. In the beginning of their whatever-they-were, Steve only wanted to focus on him and Bucky and what they had started. Then it became more about trying to forget about Bucky altogether.

"Yeah," Steve pressed his lips together as he honestly answered, "Thanks." Keeping to himself just what the thanks was for though in that moment while also allowing Bucky to believe it meant whatever he wanted it to mean.