signed fate

< 17 >

Days, even weeks, went by so fast - too fast for Lisas liking. The day that she spent with Yoongi, Jungkook and Jennie at the Ramen restaurant, seemed like a vague memory to her.

On the other hand, she had to deal with the nervousness of going to perform in front of her sunbaes. She kept telling herself that it was only a performance, just three to four minutes and then she'd be free from all the pressure, that she has been feeling the whole time.

Lisa was quite thankful to perform with Seunghoon and Donghyuk, since both always encouraged her, when they witnessed her mood becoming rather dull. At times like this they really had to stick together.

"You really don't have to get nervous, Lis", Chaeyoung told her as they she applied some light foundation on her fair skin. Lisa decided to hang around Chaeng's room for some sort of wallpaper change, since all she thought about was that performance. She was hoping to find something relieving in her best friends words, but the more Lisa listened to Chaeyoungs words, the more she sounded like she was nervous as well. Who could blame them? The guys, they were going to perform in front of, watched over the Blackpink members from their first day on - including the members of the former PinkPunk line up.

"I've been trying to compose my nervousness ever since sajangnim called me out to be in the dance unit, as you can see I haven't been doing well in composure", Lisa exclaimed sighing and plopped down on Chaeyoungs bed, which resulted in Chaeyoung putting foundation on her eyebrow by mistake and the mirror she was holding on the other hand, bump onto her forehead.

"Yah Lalisa!"

"Yah Park Chaeyoung!"

"What kind of friend ruins their friends Make Up?!"

"What kind of friend puts Make Up on while listening to their friend being all emotional?!"

Both stared at each other with intensity and would've continued to do so for the whole day, if Lisa wasn't that amused about Chaeyoungs eyebrow being practically transparent.
In the end Chaeyoung looked at herself in the mirror and had to join Lisas fits of laughter.

Who could remain serious when Lisa was laughing?

That girl beat their Main Vocalist in Vocal Range, when she was laughing.

"Alright Lis, just hear me out this once, before you start to get all gloomy again", Chaeng said as she stopped laughing and brushed a hand through her newly auburn coloured hair. "You already performed in front of sunbaes a long time ago, what is it that changed? The fact that you are an idol now? If that's all, you don't have to worry, since you became even better than back then - you should be so much more confident about your skills!"

As she repeated her bandmates sentence over and over again in her head, she slowly started to ask herself the same question.

What was different from back then?

Why was it harder for her this time?

But then like a splash of cold water in her face, she got reminded of the reasons, why it was different. There were two kinds of Lisas, the one in the past and the one in the present.

Past Lalisa did not go through the awkward situations, mental breakdowns and fake smiles.

Present Lalisa on the other hand did. A lot of times and always got reminded of them.

Lisa started to get ready for the evening as well, because as much as she wanted to push the event further, it was bound to happen some time. The day of performing was there, no way back.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

If anyone asked Lisa, why she was less comfortable on YGs private events, she would answer it as simple as possible. They lost their value over time. Back than it was artists gathering together to have the time of their life, but nowadays it seemed more like forcing broken human beings and business people to gather in one place.