signed fate

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From then on many things changed, including Lisa's perspective on her life.

Before, all she wanted was running away from the past - the people and the memories attached to them. But looking back, taking Jungkook's words under consideration, she strived to be more honest to herself. It wasn't running away, that left her restless for the passed time, but dishonesty. Truth was, Lisa wanted to end things in a way that didn't require any further heartbreaks and sorrow, but seemed clueless as to how. The answer was probably dancing around her nose, but she refused to look at it.

Jungkook told her to let the feelings come through, whenever she felt like it, but Lisa didn't know how to handle her feelings.

She knew there was a bright light waiting for her at the other end of a seemingly endless tunnel, but there was also the torch she had with her and as weak as the fire on it was, it still held the chance to guide her through the tunnel's darkness.

Which one of those was most likely to stay by her side? Most importantly, which one did she want by her side?

The bright light, that would get tired of waiting for too long or the torch, that could run out of fire for her?

She knew it wasn't the right thing to do, especially as she had no answer to her feelings yet, but ever since her last conversation with Jungkook the tables turned. Lisa was the one texting him regularly, when she had no practice. They would text about nearly everything and eventually grew closer to understanding each other's characteristics. Though aware of the fact, that he wasn't obliged to stay by her side and keep on liking her - Lisa found herself not wanting to let go.

Jungkook became someone she came to like and appreciate for the effort he put in making her feel happy. It almost felt like, he was trying the hardest of all people around her. Also, his feelings towards her were as transparent as glass, something Lisa was very thankful for. At the beginning, she didn't know how to handle such sudden feelings, but as they went on, there was no doubt that he was far from lying to her about them. Maybe her insecurities played tricks on her then, but for some reason Lisa was too blind to see him.

Not as in seeing his outer appearance, but the big heart he carried with himself every single day. And it was beating the fastest for her.

Yes, if there weren't things holding her back, she would have been free to open her heart for him. Honestly speaking, the door to her heart was never closed, but there was some sort of blockade going on and his feelings didn't manage to get through as first. It changed however, as the weight of his feelings grew bigger and stronger.

Lisa did not exclude his capability to crush everything holding her heart back, but there were things that needed to be figured out first.

There was no way she could start any new chapter without ending the first one, whether it included Hanbin or Jungkook. The possibility of rejecting both of them was considerable as well, as her actual feeling for both of them weren't clear at the moment.

"Lis, you know I love you, right?", Jisoo asked and it was one of those rare cases, that included her being extremely soft towards Lisa. Both of them were lying on Jisoo's bed and stared at the roof above, feeling drained after practising the song lyrics repeatedly - it was a miracle both of them could properly speak as the recording session took long this time. At the end, they weren't even satisfied with how their vocals sounded.

Lisa raised an eyebrow in suspicion and turned her head to look at Jisoo's side profile. Sometimes she forgot how beautiful her eonnie actually was, no wonder she got called Miss Korea by fans. If Lisa didn't already know, she would assume, that male and female idols were all over Jisoo. She was the perfect combination of looks, wit and brains.

"Weren't you the one, that called me a monkey for contouring my face with shades that are too dark?", Lisa threw back, laughing at the remark.

Jisoo rolled her eyes, but didn't hide the smile that spread over her heart shaped lips.

"No, seriously now, I want you to know that I will always be there for you and that you should never feel the need to bottle up your emotions", Jisoo spoke in a low tone, without looking at Lisa. "You're my younger sister after all"

Lisa's heart warmed up at that and she chose to look at the roof as well, smiling happily.

She always wanted to have sisters, since being an only child felt pretty lonely sometimes. Jisoo offered her much more than a strong friendship by calling her younger sister.

But Lisa also noticed the slight disappointment in Jisoo's tone. She wasn't angry at Lisa for keeping her emotions a secret, but disappointed at herself for not noticing it.

"I know, eonnie, but don't beat youself up for things that are beyond your power", she responded, reaching for a pillow to hug. "I'm thankful for everything you have done so far"

"I wish I could've done more...", Jisoo bit her lip. "Do you wanna talk about it again?"

"There's no need to, really", Lisa answered reassuringly.

A moment of silence took over them, in which they did nothing, but look at the roof. The whole room was only kept alive by their calm breathing.

"Then let me give you an advice", Jisoo cut the silence in half and finally turned to look at Lisa. Coincidentally, Lisa did the same and their eyes met. "If something hurts you to the point, that makes it hard to hold on to the good memories, you should let go"

You should let go.

Let go.

Of course, Jisoo always had the right things to say and, though these kind of things were obvious to note, she needed someone to remind her of that. Lisa needed someone to remind her, that she wasn't obliged to get herself hurt over something that may wasn't meant to be in the first place. And Jisoo gladly did her the favour.

There was no need to fight against the odds, if she was the only one fighting.

No point in hiding, she had to face the reality and find a solution, that wouldn't lead to her getting hurt again.

"And when... do I hold onto something?", Lisa questioned, curiously, and buried her neck on the pillow.

"When it feels warm, honest, just right", Jisoo started to explain in the most simple minded way possible. "Like home"

Like home...

Lisa couldn't figure out, where her home was at, but she was ready to give, searching for it, a try. She wanted to know, whether there was a home for her heart.

Finding home was simple, but difficult at the same time.

Lisa had to remember, what truly being home, felt like and both of them would have to show her.

She was confused about her feelings, no question, but in order to organize them, Lisa had to take the rough and perhaps heartbreaking path.

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Helluuuu^^

Your dear author is back with a new chapter and is absolutely ready to fall asleep, as she typed this update while fighting against her sleepiness!!

Can I get some kinda applause? Lol

Anyways, we are moving forward (or backwards? Who knows hehe)... what do you think about what's currently happening?

Let me know all your thoughts in the comments and leave a lot of feedback, since this author is thirsty for some🥰💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞🥺