signed fate

< 29 >

"I'm sorry"

She didn't dare to look at him while apologizing, there was no doubt, that she overreacted. To say it ashamed her, the fact that she acted completely out of proportion this time, was a huge understatement. Lisa was disappointed at how low she dropped in front of him.

There was no commitment between the two of them, but still she felt weird not having him get on her nerves. Besides, she grew sick of people coming and leaving her, whenever they felt the need to do that. As much as she didn't want to believe it, Jungkook wasn't an unimportant part of her social life.

"Why are you apologizing?", he asked as they were sitting on a bench nearby the former place of events. Jungkook's gaze never left her ankle, ever since she sprained it while running after him. "Don't tell me you felt guilty for that?"

Lisa side-eyed him, feeling even more guilty for worrying him. It was her decision to run after him and still, she managed to make him feel at fault.

"Of course I do", Lisa practically murmured as she stared at the ground in front of her feet, feeling self-conscious all of the sudden. Typically, Jungkook wouldn't make a big deal out of it, he wasn't even slightly concerned of the outcome his words caused. Sometimes she found herself hating him for being this stubborn in terms of self-awareness. "I confuse you as much as you confuse me, I'm not careful with my words and take so many things for granted"

"Actually there's so much to regret and be sorry for these days", she added right after that, rather talking to herself than him.

Lisa wasn't quite sure, when it all started to crumble. She wanted to say, that it was due to her surprising break up back then, but it might as well started, when she got to know Hanbin. Looking back with taking the present events into consideration, he was her happiness - underlining the past tense. Lisa probably should have known, that first love's aren't meant to hold onto you for a lifetime.

She silently watched the grass next to her feet get blown to the side. A chuckle almost left her mouth as she thought about the grass ironically looking like her, trying to hold onto everything important to her.

"You know most of the time, the words slipping out of our mouths without thinking about their impact, are those to take seriously", Jungkook's voice interrupted and took her by surprise as he went on. "We go on with our lives, trying to keep the mindset of having to act rational all the time alive - it's what parents and grandparents taught us - but rationality and being careful does not guarantee you a fantastic life, that leads to a happy ending"

"Cry, laugh and be angry whenever you feel like it, emotions shouldn't be prohibited by rationality - the world won't stop spinning around its own axis and even if that was the case, who cares? We will end up dying anyway", he paused after that, turning his head to look at her.

Lisa returned his gaze waiting for him to finish, what he was going to tell her. But he was just deeply gazing at her face, like it was the first time he saw it. Jungkook wore a facial expression, that reminded her a lot of herself - it was the kind of face you would make, when watching over someone special to you. His eyes seemed to have her face engraved, Lisa almost gasped at how clearly she was mirrored in them. Lisa did not just see her face, she saw herself. The fascination written across her face as she looked back at him, the way it illuminated hope. His eyes were like an open door to self-reflection, something no ordinary mirror was able to make her see.

"As for me, I want to do something meaningful... I want to change your story for the better, every heroine deserves a happy ending"

Her eyes widened, she witnessed the process through his eyes.

For some reason his last sentence touched her heart in way that she never felt before. Without showing off, there were quite a few people, that protected Lisa and made her feel at home, but the way Jungkook wanted to protect her was different from theirs. He wasn't like her bandmates, her friends and family back home in Thailand and most certainly not like Hanbin - Jungkook was different. He wanted to give her a happy ending, instead of creating his own and despite not knowing, whether he would be a part of her's.

Was it possible for him to grow any more selfless?

Lisa watched as his pupils grew bigger while gifting her a weak smile. That sight led her to eventually look away shyly. It was the first time she recognized the intensity his eyes held, but most importantly she saw sincerity in them.

A lot of things troubled Lisa as she went through life, finding friends and new family members surely helped her to get over her troubles. Right now however, she found a safe place in Jungkook's eyes, even if it was for a short time period.

He suddenly felt like home.

"What does my happy ending look like?", Lisa asked quietly while brushing a hair strand away and gazing up to the sky, feeling the cold breeze brushing over her face. "I'm just curious"

"It's pretty simple if you think about it, but definitely hard to achieve", he answered. "The happy ending I want you to have is one, that gives you reason and strength to smile all the time, even in your after-life"

Lisa gulped, secretly wishing for the same as it was something everyone would want to have. A happy ending that would never make her lose her smile? It sounded unrealistic and too good to be true, but the fact that he was declaring to give her exactly that, made her anticipate it even more somehow.

Unlike before, she grew to trust more in his words.

"I know it's not fair to bring this up, but... I hope your happy ending includes me"

Although him being open about his feelings wasn't new to Lisa, his words left her awestruck for a moment. A moment of silence passed by, in which it was Jungkook's turn to look up and Lisa's to stare at him

"By the way, how does your ankle feel now?", he asked her, choosing to watch her ankle again.

Lisa responded by looking at her ankle as well, eyeing it in suspicion. She stood up taking a few steps, earning Jungkook's worried eyes on her.

To both of their surprise nothing happened, actually the contrary of their expectations took over.

"It... does not hurt"

^*^*^*^*^*^

Helloooo my loves

I'm back with a new chapter of this never ending slow burn💕🥰

Jokes aside, the progress is definitely visible and I hope this chapter made you feel the same way!🤞🏻

Isn't Kookie the sweetest? I literally love involving his role so much, every conversation between him and Lisa is so much fun to write.

I enjoy writing these kind of conversations in general, since I'm a fan of difficult romances and like to have deep talking sessions✨

Anyway, anyhow... I hope you enjoyed this chapter and look forward to more💖