signed fate

< 24 >

What was meant to be the end of the night, was just the beginning and looking back Lisa didn't quite understand her decisions that day either.

Maybe it was the need to talk to someone, that kept her awake that night. Not only did she feel the urge to have someone beside her, but it had to be someone special. Special in sense of someone, who wasn't involved with her.

People would call her crazy for making Jeon Jungkook that exact person, since he was willingly involved with and held clear feelings for her. However, Lisa lost the ability to sense bad decisions that night. After leaving the hospital, filled with frustration, she decided not to go home right away and texted Jungkook, so they could possibly meet up.

Why him? Because despite being weirdly deep involved with her, he seemed the most distant.

Surprisingly, it didn't take him long to text her back and in lightning speed, they found themselves in a small barbecue place nearby. The place consisted of a green tent and a few tables outside of it, which allowed the customers to decide, whether they wanted to order inside or outside.

Both of them decided to sit outside, as it was dark enough for them to take the risk and no one was really around. They were the only customers at that time.

"What would you like to order, Lisa-yah?", Jungkook asked her and it was the first time that day, that he spoke with her. Ever since he arrived at the barbecue place, he was busy studying her facial expressions. It wasn't that he was afraid to talk to her, she just seemed a lot more vulnerable than usual to him.

She didn't initiate talking to him either, despite being the one to invite him. Maybe, Lisa's intention wasn't to invite him to talk things through. More than that, she craved the presence of someone, who would sit beside her without asking any questions. Lisa knew he wanted to know, what was going on, but he bottled up all triggering questions and just stayed by her side.

"I'll go with a glass of water, I guess", she answered slowly, lacking a lot of energy. Just what was wrong with her? Hanbin didn't break up with her yesterday, it was long ago and should be forgotten by now. She should be laughing about her silly self back then, that thought maintaining a relationship and a big career dream would go well. But everything she tried to brush it off and laugh about it, she ended up crying - it made her realize that to have one thing, you have to give up another. "No, scratch that, I have Soju"

Jungkook raised an eyebrow and watched over her suspiciously. Not knowing, what was going on in her head, would eventually make him go insane. He was almost ready to stop her from ordering alcohol, but Jungkook also knew, that there was something bothering her and, if alcohol made her feel at ease even for one percent, it would be alright. Besides, he wouldn't drink and take care of her.

To his surprise, Lisa wasn't much of a heavy drinker and ended up tipsy after two glasses of Soju.

"You have been watching me the whole night, there must be a lot of questions surrounding you, right?", Lisa asked sounding tired, as she leaned back on her seat with legs widely stretched like a man.

Jungkook wanted to laugh at her unladylike pose, but held it in for the sake of her dignity.

"If you're willing to talk, I will listen, otherwise I can sit here all night and watch over you", he answered and lovingly smiled at her confused facial expression.

Lisa really was a rare gem to him. There she was sitting right in front of him, legs stretched all carefree, with the cutest face possible and probably drunk already. She was everything he wanted his love to be, original. If there was a chance to change anything about her, he wouldn't dare to touch the opportunity at all, because Lisa was the most special as she was. Even the fact, that she was slow to realize one's feelings, was something he didn't want to change about her. Lisa should just stay Lisa for good.

People would constantly tell him, that there were masses of girls dying to be by his side forever and simply give all their love to him.

What would be the best way to tell them, that he didn't want his love to be simple, but real?

There was no need to turn around and pick someone, if the best option was sitting in front of him - no, not the best option, but the only option.

"I wish talking would solve everything, Kookie-ah", she chunked down her drink and smiled at him. He didn't like that smile, because it wasn't reaching her big eyes at all. There was so much he wanted to give, just in order for her to smile sincerely again. "The bottle is almost empty"

"This should be enough alcohol for today, you still have to get home", he reminded her and reached for the bottle, to get it away from her grasp. She pouted and laid her head on the table, closing her eyes.

A short moment of silence passed by, which made it able to hear the wind breeze.

"Do you ever look back at your past and wonder, when things started going wrong? When things began going backwards instead of forward?", Jungkook was caught off guard by her question and was left with nothing, but a surprised expression on his face. There wasn't really anything in particular, that he regretted doing, but he knew the feeling of moving backward instead of forward. During his trainee days, he encountered many of these moments.

Jungkook quickly brushed off his trainee memories and took the time to look at Lisa, as she had opened her eyes again. She wasn't looking at him, but somewhere far away. For some reason, the scenery in front of him, looked like a depressing painting. If he was to go to an art museum, and the sight in front of him was an actual painting, he would've wanted to ask the artist, what it was, that he wanted to portray. And if Jungkook was the artist, he would've answered sorrow.

"No matter what I do, I end up at square one again and go through everything... again", she whispered those words, loud enough to be heard by Jungkook, and finally raised her head to stare right back at him. While his eyes were filled with worry, hers were filled with nothing, but darkness. "Can you take the pain away from me, Jungkook-ah?"

As she said that, she grew more desperate. Lisa reached for his face and softly brushed her thumb over his cheek. Looking at him with dry eyes, smiling bitterly.

"You can make these feelings go away, right? You will be able to stop my heart from hurting, hmm?", the words left her mouth in a low tone. Jungkook was too shocked by her sudden touch to notice her bringing her face closer to his. She touched his forehead with hers, the only thing separating them, was the small table in between.

Lisa wasn't seeing rational anymore, it was her inner teenager, that acted on rational Lisa's behalf. Right now, the broken hearted teenager version of Lisa was sitting in front of Jungkook, begging him to help her get over her first love. No one in their right mind, would do that, but Lisa didn't want to blame herself at that exact moment. She was trying to stay strong for so long, what was so bad about being weak for one time?

"Please make me forget everything, I want to erase the memories hurting me"

With that said, she leaned forward, not letting go off Jungkook's face.