I'll See You When I Fall Asleep

Chapter 15

It was as if the Dream happened all over again. Cammie woke with Virgo's face fresh in her mind after a particularly vivid Dream. Much like before her heart was racing, but this time Cammie was unsure if it was from anxiety or nerves.

The morning sunlight washed over the room, illuminating the darkness that seemed to blot out Cammie's rational mind the night before. Now that it was morning, everything seemed much clearer, more manageable. Cammie turned in the bed to find Savannah still asleep next to her. She thought about the support that Savannah had offered her the night before and the reassurance that nothing had changed between them. A smile crept across her face, grateful that she still had her best friend's support.

Cammie turned her attention now to the strange mixtures of emotions filling her heart. In the night, her brain was demanding that she ignores the vivid images of Virgo that were conjured up in her unconscious mind; yet her heart seemed to have other ideas about what she should want. With a good night's sleep between her and Virgo, Cammie less at the mercy of her emotions and able to wrap her brain around exactly what was happening in her chest.

Cammie thought back to the conversation with Savannah last night and lingered on the idea that Savannah was following Virgo on Instagram. An idea popped into Cammie's head and with a pounding heart, feeling like a thief in the midst of a heist, she reached for Savannah's phone and navigated to the app. She quickly typed in Virgo's name. It was the first result in the search. Cammie hastily clicked on the profile and found herself with access to a small portion of Virgo's world.

Virgo had a simple biography written on her profile containing her name a French quote. Cammie read over the strange words written in familiar letters: "L'esprit cherche et c'est le cœur qui trouve. - George Sand."

Cammie typed the quote into Google translate to discover its meaning: "The spirit looks and it's the heart that finds." Her brow crinkled in thought, pondering both the meaning of the quote and the reasoning behind why Virgo chose it. Perhaps she could discover that truth within the photos that Virgo took to catalog her life.

The most recent picture was a photo of Virgo from last night standing on the stage. The memory of Cammie's feelings came rushing back and it was like she had never left the bar. Virgo was beautiful and Cammie could no longer deny that. The photo captured dramatic shadows angled around Virgo's face and body, extenuating her figure. Cammie carefully studied Virgo's expression and felt like she could read the emotions there. Virgo was confident on the stage, like she belonged there. But Cammie detected that underlying weariness hiding behind her eyes. Perhaps it was because Cammie had heard her sing, heard the raw emotion in the French girl's voice when she sang, that Cammie was able to see deeper into the picture.

Guilt washed through her as she thought again how she had hurt Virgo, so she quickly scrolled through Virgo's profile, looking at other pictures, gathering together the pieces of Virgo. Each picture was like a stroke of an artist's brush, painting an image of this mysterious girl. Cammie discovered that Virgo loved to travel; it seemed she had been all over the world. Cammie was amazed that a girl that grew up in the South of France and traveled to furthest corners of the earth had ended up in the same city as her.

Cammie also learned that Virgo had two older brothers that had the same striking brown eyes and hair that their younger sister had. They still lived at home in France.

Virgo's love for music became more apparent as Cammie looked through the profile. There were even a few videos posted of Virgo strumming her guitar, singing into the camera. For fear of waking Savannah up, she decided to watch these video's later, the allure of hearing the haunting voice almost too much to bear.

Savannah rustled in the bed next to Cammie and she quickly closed the app and placed Savannah's phone back on the nightstand.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" A sleepy Savannah asked, stretching from sleep.

"I'm okay. Better than I have been."

"I'm so happy to hear that. We should do something today."

"What do you have in mind?"

Savannah thought a moment. "Want to go out tonight? The last time we went out was on your birthday."

"As long as it doesn't involve you tricking me again."

Savannah feigned innocence. "I would never."

The girls laughed together. It felt good to laugh with Savannah, have things be normal between them again. Distancing herself from Savannah had been one of the more difficult decisions that Cammie had made and it had been detrimental to her mental health not having anyone to talk to or lean on.

"Yeah, let's go out tonight," Cammie agreed.

Cammie climbed out of bed and made her way back to her own room. She picked up her phone and noticed she had a text from Adam. She thought for a moment and chewed her cheek, but eventually decided to put her phone down without replying. She had clung to Adam to much in the last few month out of fear, that perhaps a day without him would be good for her.

*

The girls got out of the sleek car that dropped them off and approached their friends waiting outside of the club. The familiar thump of the bass was a strange comfort to Cammie, like things were getting back to normal.

The bar was crowded and loud, but Cammie didn't mind, she felt her energy begin to spike to match the atmosphere of the club.

The group made their way through dancing bodies to the bar to begin their night of bottomless negligence.

Never one to dance without some enoucrshement by both Savannah and alcohol, Cammie reluctantly let herself be pulled out to the dance floor once had consumed her first drink. The friends all danced with each other to the beat of the loud thump. Cammie lost herself in the music and the drink, the night swallowing her whole.

A surge of curiosity pumped through Cammie's body with the encouragement of the alcohol. She began to glance around the room, looking at every girl, starting with her friends. She looked each of them up and down, studying their faces, their hair, the shapes of their bodies, their legs, and finally their breasts. Cammie was waiting for some deep, stirring of desire at the sight of these women dressed in sultry attire, but she found that none came. Perhaps it was just because she was not attracted to her friends, or perhaps it was because none of the women she was surrounded with were her type (though she could not be sure what her type was, as she only had Virgo for reference and none of these women looked like Virgo). Whatever the reason, Cammie found that she was not physically attracted to any woman in this room. A small bit of relief began to fill her knowing that perhaps her worst fear of being attracted to women was not coming to fruition.

The tension began to leak from Cammie and she felt lighter than ever. When Savannah suggested they begin to bar hop, Cammie eagerly agreed.