I'll See You When I Fall Asleep

Chapter 28

Part III - THE CHOICE

Sunlight streamed in through the cracked blinds, washing Cammie's face in a splash of light. As she blinked into consciousness, awareness of the body pressed against her back spread through her. Virgo's body was warm, comforting; it felt as if their skin was fused together into one entity. It took a moment for Cammie's brain to put all of the pieces of puzzle together of the night before, but slowly her memory came back to her and worked out the image.

A light blush covered her cheeks when she realized they had fallen asleep together, their shirtless bodies sharing much more than warmth. Virgo's tattooed arms were wrapped around Cammie, as if this might be the last time she would hold her. Their chests expanded and feel in unison, as if they were breathing from one heart. Cammie sighed contentedly, sinking further into her Soulmate's arms.

What a euphoric feeling, she mused, to be safe inside your lovers arms, to feel their delicate skin warming your own, to feel as though nothing in this world could be more sweet. Appreciation swelled through Cammie's chest, enveloping her like the ocean consumed the beach at high hide, completing consumed; Cammie never knew this feeling of total fulfillment, as though every need she could ever have was met in this moment by this one person. On this morning, Cammie began to this bizarre concept of a Soulmate, of what it meant to be consumed by another person. Briefly, she thought back to her breakup with Adam, how she had naively fought for him, trying desperately and willing them to work. But it never could, and that's what he was trying to explain to her: it could never work, not when another person could make her feel like this.

Cammie turned, carefully maneuvering herself to face Virgo, but not wake her. As her eyes fell upon the girl, it felt like having her Dream all over again. Cammie's eyes adjusted to the daylight now pouring into her eyes and they did, the world came into focus. Before her was that same face she once gazed upon months ago in a dream, whose nose was peppered with freckles and framed with thick eyebrows; whose long, waving brown hair fell all around her face; whose prominent small nose had a silver ring pierced through it.

The image of Virgo came into her head just like the Dream had: slowly, then all at once.

Now the girl, who for months made her appearance in Cammie's dreams, skirting the edges of her consciousness every day was sleeping next to her, had kissed her yesterday, had told Cammie that she loved her.

Cammie bit her lip, a huge smile spreading to the edges of her cheeks.

Virgo's body rose and fell with the lightness of her breaths; she looked so perfect, so beautiful, so peaceful. How innocent and peaceful Virgo looked, Cammie thought. In her sleep, Virgo appeared so much younger, much more vulnerable. With a gentle hand, Cammie's ran her knuckles along Virgo's cheek, studying her face. How much trust had the two of them conjured, to fall asleep next to each other?

Virgo stirred, her eyes fluttering open. The sunlight danced on her iris, flecking them with gold.

"Wow," Cammie breathed. "Your eyes are incredible."

"J'aime me réveiller près de toi," Virgo mumbled, her voice thick with sleep.

"What did you say?"

"'I love waking up next to you'."

Cammie's face colored.

"You blush so much," Virgo laughed, her eyes still heavy. Her hand gently came to Cammie's cheek and brushed her red cheeks.

Cammie buried her face in her pillow and mumbled into the pillow. "I know. I don't know why you make me blush so much."

"It's cute."

"It's not," Cammie said, turning to face her tormentor, twisting her face into an unconvincing frown. Virgo laughed and kissed her, the frown disappearing instantly.

"I love being able to kiss you. It was so difficult before," Virgo said as she pulled away. Cammie continued to blush, fighting a losing battle. "You're beautiful."

"Stop," Cammie said, drawing out the O.

"You don't like when I call you beautiful?" Virgo teased, unconvinced by Cammie's request.

"I do," Cammie mumbled, averting her eyes.

"What's that?"

"I do," Cammie said more forcefully, still unable to look Virgo in the eye, baffled at her own shyness.

"Good, because I want to tell you every day, jusqu'à mon dernier soupir."

Their eyes met, Virgo's steady and strong, Cammie's hesitant yet curious.

"T'es comme un rêve," Virgo said softly.

Cammie dared to let her eyes wander over Virgo's body in the daylight, to study Virgo as Virgo was studying. Her own body was tucked safely under the blankets. In the light of day, Cammie became shy and self-conscious, hiding under the veil of the sheets, while Virgo lay unashamed before her.

"Your tattoos are so beautiful," Cammie said, mostly to distract from and mask her own timidity. It also seemed that each time she looked at Virgo's skin, she discovered a new piece she hadn't noticed before.

"I'm glad you like them so much. I always wondered if my Soulmate would like tattoos."

"Don't worry, I love them. I'm living vicariously through you."

"Vicariously?"

"It means, like, I get satisfaction from your tattoos, because I don't have many."

"Well, you don't have to live," Virgo paused and formed the new word in her mouth. "Vicariously through me. You can get more."

"And be disowned by my mother?" Cammie joked. "If she even sees the one I have she'll kill me."

"Your tattoo is beautiful though."

Cammie hesitated a moment, her insecurity chaining her body down. But after a reassuring look from Virgo, decided to draw back the sheets, exposing her chest, her side. Virgo reached out a hand and traced her fingers along the lines of the hummingbird and the poppy. A shiver ran up Cammie's spine and she found her heart pounding in her chest once again. It was so loud, Cammie wondered if Virgo could heart it trying to escape through her ribs.

After a moment, Virgo stopped tracing Cammie's tattoo and instead covered it with her palm. The thumping of Cammie's heart pulsed through her palm.

"Are you nervous?" Virgo asked.

"Yes."

Virgo grasped Cammie's own hand and pressed it against her chest. Cammie felt the rapid beat of Virgo's heart, racing almost as much as her own.

"Me too."

Cammie leaned into Virgo, the two of them collapsing into each other. Virgo wrapped her arms around Cammie and she rested her head on Virgo's chest. Cammie's ear was pressed against Virgo's chest, right above her heart, and listened as her heartbeat slowed to a steady pace, the warmth radiating from her skin. Virgo ran her fingers through Cammie's hair, lulling her back into a light slumber of bliss.

"You know, I've dreamed of this moment for years. I can't believe it's finally here." Virgo planted a kiss on the crown of Cammie's head. Cammie responded by pressing a light kiss to Virgo's heart.

"Honestly, I never imagined my future with my Soulmate. It never crossed my mind. Then I met you and suddenly it was all I could think about. And when I woke this morning, I saw forever."

Virgo's throat constricted, moved to tears of joy by Cammie's declaration.

"Je t'aime," Virgo murmured.

Cammie's eyes slid shut, trying to freeze this moment and stretch it into eternity.

This perfect morning the girls shared was suddenly shattered when Savannah burst into the room without knocking, a terribly bad habit she had acquired in her childhood and never learned to break, even though it had gotten her into trouble more times than she cared to admit.

"Hey, Cam." Savannah stopped short when she realized that Cammie was not alone in her room. Cammie and Virgo whipped their heads around to face her. Cammie's eyes were wide with the shock of embarrassment; Virgo's were wide with surprise; and Savannah's were wide with disbelief. "Oh shit. Jesus, I'm sorry!" Savannah was covering her eyes and backing out of the room just as quickly as she walked in, slamming the door behind her.

Cammie scrambled out of bed, hoping that the blankets had been piled high enough to obscure any view Savannah would have of the two of them. Quickly plucking their discarded shirts from the floor, Cammie tossed Virgo her shirt and sloppily pulled hers over her head. She yanked open the door and called to Savannah.

"Savannah, it's okay! We're not—we weren't doing anything."

Savannah emerged from her bedroom, looking, what Cammie believed was the first time in her life, embarrassed.

"Cam, I'm so sorry I didn't know you. . ." Savannah cocked her head to the side, deciding how to describe what she had seen. "Brought someone home?"

Cammie cleared her throat, embarrassed. "Yeah, um, not for. . . that. It wasn't like that."

Virgo appeared from behind Cammie and waved to Savannah.

"Virgo?" Savannah asked incredulous.

Savannah registered two things in that moment: one, Virgo was the girl in Cammie's bed and two, Virgo was wearing Cammie's shirt, which meant she hadn't brought a change of clothes. Savannah eyes widened.

"Nothing happened!" Cammie postulated, reading Savannah's mind.