I get so high I touch the sky.
I couldn't sleep.
I ended up with a joint in my hand, sitting on the bean bag outside.
What the fuck was I thinking?
All that was going through my head was Rakim's look when he pulled away, stepping back.
Rejections always sting; big or small, important person or not. Somebody tells you off and it's not a nice feeling.
That's what happened to me; he sent me home.
Guys like him aren't my cup of tea anyways; I kept telling that to myself for hours.
He's good looking and he knows it. The last thing he needs is a girl like me.
Complicated all over.
I fell asleep at 2 AM. The next morning when I woke up I felt a little better.
After a brief discussion with myself while washing my face, I decided to forget all about Rakim and whatever happened between us. I went to work, had lunch with my uncle and grabbed some coffee with my coworker before heading home.
I was rolling in bed, reading a book, well, I was trying to. I craved iced coffee with ice cream, so I pulled myself together and went out for a walk. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and I didn't want to waste it.
A few blocks up and I reached my destination; Starbucks.
While waiting for my name to be called I took a seat at one of the tables. In the middle of replying to a message Devin sent me a few minutes ago, I heard loud laughing coming from behind. Obnoxious people were always on my No-no list but I wanted to see who the asshole was.
Naturally I turned around, my eyes almost falling out of my sockets.
To my surprise it was the asshole I liked; Rakim.
On top of the way we left things last night, he wasn't alone. He had three girls with him and they were all dressed like a bunch of strippers. Not that I have anything against female entertainers; in contrary. But I'm sure they don't dress that way for a trip to Starbucks.
"Dita!" The barista called my name which meant my order was ready to be picked up.
I saw Rakim look when he heard it and even our gazes locked for two seconds; but I grabbed my coffee and left as fast as I could.
I wasn't in the mood; not for him or those three extras he brought along.
I sat down at my kitchen table and finished my drink. Forgetting Rakim wasn't going as planned; even though nothing happened between us. I just know I've never felt this way about a man before.
I've seen guys hotter than him; not a lot of them but still. It's not only his looks; when he touched me, it felt like I got struck by lightning.
Why do I keep attracting assholes and fuckboys? Why can't I just find a normal person instead?
I really wanted to tell Devin all about it but I knew what he'd say. I went to bed early after showering; I needed to sleep it off.
💛
It seemed like I constantly had to be reminded of my awkward encounter. Everywhere I went, there he was; at the grocery store with his friends, at the convenient store a couple blocks away and at the shoe shop.
The last one happened while I was on my way home. He noticed me from across the street and almost got hit by a car when he was running after me.
"Yo!" He shouted.
I stopped; mostly because we were alone and I couldn't hide like every other time before.
"Yo, Dita! Hold up!"
He was panting.
"Why you always running off like that?"
"I'm not." I was playing coy.
"What you mean you ain't. Everything alright? I haven't seen you at the bar."
I wasn't going to start believing that he actually gives a shit about me.
"I'm fine. Aren't your friends waiting for you or something?" I slightly scoffed, realizing that I might've sounded a bit jealous.
He shot me a weird look but chuckled soon after.
"You weird. Listen, I apologize for practically throwing you out that night, I just really had to take care of something."
"Great, apology accepted." I sarcastically replied.
"Just... come by sometime, let me make it up to you." He offered. Sadly, I had to disappoint him.
"It's okay, really. I get it."
I said and started walking, leaving him behind.
"Get what?"
He yelled after me but I kept on going.
He was a dead end; I really thought so.
Which is why I have no idea how I ended up in his bed the next night.
I'm a mess.
