Hands on the ground, back against the wall, tell me who you'd call.
"You okay?"
I've been staring at the ceiling, not being as talkative as I usually am when he comes over.
Rakim was sitting on the other side of the couch, my feet in his lap. We were watching some movie.
I considered lying, I admit.
I didn't want to bore him with my tragic stories and unfortunately Minna was one of them.
But I knew he'll keep asking me until I give him at least something, so I caved in before he would ask me again.
"You know that ex I told you about, Minna?"
He nodded.
"She came to see me before you got here."
I was thinking of a way to tell him that he's basically her dealer. I don't think she gives out her real name; back in the day, when we would go and pick her stuff up, she always lied if they asked us anything.
"She harassed you?"
"No." I replied. "It was just the I was in the neighborhood and wanted to see you crap. I know what she wanted."
He gave me a sympathetic look, rubbing my feet.
"What happened then?"
"I kinda yelled at her, told her to leave."
"And did she?"
He asked.
I nodded.
"Without a word."
"Oh baby, I know how painful it is to see someone you love consumed by this white shit; it's melting their brain but you gotta remember; it ain't your fault they be drugged up."
He explained.
"I'm aware; it still hurts to see people change into something you barely recognize."
I lifted myself up.
"Come here."
He pulled me close, wrapping his arm around me.
"You can't save everyone."
"I know that too."
I often found myself thinking about Minna, especially the day we met.
I wanted to ride the ferris wheel but no one would come with me; she jumped in the last second.
We were flirting at the cotton candy stand before that, just looking at each other, one more awkward than the other.
We talked and when the ride was over, I finally had the guts to ask her out. We shared cotton candy and exchanged numbers.
After that it all went smooth like butter. I fell for her like a fat kid for cake; she was the most exciting person I knew.
She had so much things to share with me; we could talk for hours and still have tons of topics to discuss.
It all quieted down when she came over one day and kissed me while I was making us coffee.
Suddenly, the only important thing in my life was her.
"Your scent is so intoxicating."
She moaned into my neck while her lips made their way down low.
I didn't speak at all.
The only thing that came out of my mouth was either a mumble or a moan.
My hands were tangled in her long light blonde hair, moving along and pressing her on my boobs.
She gently sucked on them, while her hand was already between my legs, rubbing my pussy that was wet just for her.
I exhaled and leaned my head back, instinctively, gently pushing her head lower until I felt her tongue on my clit.
She was a professional; ate me out so good I came harder than ever.
That feeling will forever be imprinted in my skin; I was on cloud nine. It felt like I finally found what I was missing.
I think I loved her already; and I knew I never wanted to let her go.
I did't want to cry in front of Rakim but I did anyways, it was hard to hold the tears back in the comfort of my own home.
"Baby cakes."
He was holding me, telling me how everything is fine.
"Thanks for being here for me."
I said and hugged him back.
"Of course."
He replied.
I was thankful for him every day. He's far from perfect but he cares.
He cares for me like no one has for years.
When I let my pain out, I decided to grab that box of photos and finally get rid of it for good.
I looked through the pictures one last time, trying to keep the best version of Minna in my memory.
A happy, glowing, loving woman that once loved me like I loved her.
Until one day she didn't; the day I was replaced by heroin.
Rakim looked closely and glanced at me.
He recognized her, I knew it right away.
"Yo, I know this broad. What did you say her name was again? Minna?"
I nodded.
"She told me it's Tiffany." He looked a bit confused. "And she looks different on them pictures."
"This was before drugs... I saw her once at the Siren, I just didn't want to say anything..."
"Damn baby, that woman... she'll snort anything and everything."
"I know."
