Dark shades, too much smoke; I could barely see the fumes.
"Where did you two meet?"
Now that Rakim knew who my ex was, he wanted to know the details.
And he wasn't hesitating with them questions.
"At the carnival." I replied.
I was also smoking a much needed joint.
"Was she a crackhead back then?"
He asked.
"No."
I shook my head.
"Not at all actually. She didn't even smoke weed."
I chuckled cynically when he looked at me, taking the joint from my hand for a couple of drags.
"Or maybe she was lying."
I thought of that a few times before. Honestly, I couldn't know.
When I pulled out a blunt, she started nervously shaking her head.
I didn't make a big deal out of it then; it was just weed.
Who would've known she'd end up snorting everything and anything.
"If she was lying, she hid it well."
I took the blunt back from his hand.
"When did you say you met her?"
Rakim asked me, leaning his head back.
"Two years ago. Why?"
"I knew it."
"Knew what?"
I lifted myself up, looking into his eyes.
"My homies know her, she only started buying from Tyler a couple of months ago." He let me know.
"But I've seen her around before and I've been hanging out at the Siren for a while."
"I don't care anymore. I would prefer not seeing her ever again though."
"Of course. I'll take care of it."
He ensured.
I didn't want to ask what he meant by that. I just wanted her gone.
Rakim helped me get rid of the pictures later that evening; we burned them in the sink. It felt like a huge burden was lifted off my chest. Then we chilled at my place; comfortable silence was ruling as we were scooted on the couch.
I closed my eyes, slowly drifting away until everything went black.
"You think you're a fucking saint? Huh? Fucking bitch!"
Minna yelled at me yet again.
She was in withdrawal, two days without snorting that disgusting shit and I was doing my best to help her.
She made it very hard.
I even thought about buying some for her, kicking her out of my life for good but then I saw her face.
Those sad empty eyes, dark circles underneath them, mascara tears dripping down her pale cheeks.
How could I even think of doing such a thing?
"Come here."
I went over and grabbed her arm, helping her up.
She protested but I insisted on her taking a cold bath.
She screamed when I sunk her in, pushing her down so she wouldn't get out. It hurt me more than it hurt her but I had no other choice.
And it seemed way better than drugging her up again.
"I fucking hate you! You fucking bitch!"
She kept shouting at me but I was still collected. I needed to do that for her.
"I hope you die. I hope you fucking die!!!"
Tears rolled down my cheeks when she said that.
Little did she know I actually wanted to die; sometimes I thought about it more than I should've.
I kept holding her down until she eventually stopped kicking and screaming; she gave in.
I'll never forget the look she gave me.
This shit traumatized me more than I imagined.
I gasped loudly, lifting myself up in a quick second. Rakim flinched, his arm still wrapped around me. I moved it and got up, going to the kitchen for a glass of water.
"Baby cakes, you good?"
He came after me.
"Yeah, I just had a bad dream."
More like a trip down memory lane.
"You wanna be alone?"
He asked.
I swallowed the rest of the water and walked up to him, wrapping my hands loosely around his neck.
Our foreheads touched when I leaned my head on his, shaking my head.
"You know what I really want?"
His eyes looked into mine as he pulled back just a bit, his palm resting on the side of my face.
"I wanna be fucked."
I whispered, pulling him into a hug, earning a hot grunt from his sexy mouth.
"Really hard. And rough."
I continued.
Pulling away, he grabbed my wrist and pinned my arm on my back.
I was pressed against him, patiently waiting for his next move.
His other arm slid up my stomach to my shoulder where he grabbed the collar of my thin t-shirt, ripping it and exposing my breast.
He clenched his jaw when leaning in.
I was standing still, ready to obey his commands.
"On your knees."
He released my arm and put his palm on top of my head, pushing me down.
I knew what I had to do.
"Gotta earn the right to get fucked. Open your mouth."
He pulled his sweats down, revealing his already hard dick.
His fingers were tangled in my hair, gripping a little harder when I took him into my mouth.
"That's it baby, good girl."
He moaned, throwing his head back in pleasure.
