My tongue at a loss for words, cause my feelings just said it all.
"You know you can tell me whatever's on yo mind, right?"
He blew out smoke. Chilling on his balcony, that is twice the size of mine, has been pretty regular for us over the past few weeks.
We got close very fast, more than I have been with anyone before; talking about difficult life things and honestly, it felt good to have someone else besides Devin to talk to. A friend is much more different than what Rakim and I are about.
"Yeah." I repositioned my legs in his lap.
We didn't have a label.
Friends, fuck buddies, a couple?
Who knew.
"So what's bothering yo pretty little head?"
I took the blunt from his hand for a few puffs.
"I don't even know."
I found myself being brutally honest with him at all times, which used to be very hard for me to achieve.
"I guess it's just the weight of the world, gets a little heavy sometimes."
I admitted.
I told him about my addict ex and our problematic relationship but I never mentioned she comes to his bar. I couldn't.
"I got you."
He touched my cheek, gently pinching it.
"I'm real and I know we ain't what you'd want us to be at the moment, but that don't mean I won't take care of you whenever you need me to."
In his own words he told me that he cares about me but isn't ready for a relationship.
I didn't wrap my head around it too much. I wasn't sure I was capable of being committed to him either.
Maybe after some time.
"I appreciate it, really. And I get it too."
"Get what?"
He asked.
"That I'm not easy to be around. I'm fully aware I'm complicated."
I chuckled.
"I don't give a fuck about that; you could be Mother Theresa for all I care. I fuck with you."
He playfully tapped my arm.
I couldn't help but smile widely, leaning my head back, taking another puff.
💛
We were walking to my place, where he hasn't been yet, despite the fact that we've been spending all my free time together.
His arm over my shoulders as usual we were a block away from the bar when we ran into a friend of his.
"Yo Rocky!" The guy exclaimed, his hand up in the air. He was waving at us.
"Hey Ty!" Rakim greeted him, shaking his hand. Then he introduced me.
"This is Dita, Dita, meet Tyler."
"Hi, nice to meet you."
Tyler shook my hand and all, he was super nice. I smiled at him.
"Likewise, I like your sneaks."
He was wearing baby blue nikes with yellow sunflowers printed all over.
"Thank you!"
He grinned like a child, looking down at his feet.
"So, what's up?"
Rakim asked him.
"It's about Jay, he's running late again."
Tyler replied.
"And you just happened to be in the neighbourhood."
Rakim furrowed his brows, chuckling.
Tyler shrugged his shoulders and grinned, glancing at me, then looking back at Rakim.
"Aight."
Rakim turned to me.
"You go on and wait for me at home, I'll be there in 30 minutes."
"I can wait if you want."
I offered.
"Nah, it's cool, go. I'll see you in a bit." He pressed a kiss on my cheek and waited there until I walked away.
I wasn't supposed to do what I did; but curiosity got the best of me. I discretely followed them; two blocks away they stopped and entered a building. I was standing by the front door a minute later, no sign of them. Suddenly I hear this loud mumbling, almost sounded like muffled screaming.
I ran outside, looking for the potential window of the apartment in question.
I hid behind the dumpster, peeking over; then I saw Tyler, holding some guy by the wrists, pinning him face to the wall.
What the fuck?
I moved a bit to the left to get a better look; that's when my insides turned to mush. Legs got rubbery as I covered my mouth with my palm.
Rakim was standing there with a gun in his hand, talking. The window was closed so I couldn't hear what he was saying.
He didn't look angry but still, he was pointing the gun to that guy's head.
I ran.
I ran as fast as my legs could go.
What the fuck did I just see?
