Maybe (COMPLETED)

Chapter Nineteen

I hated this feeling. I don't even know the right words to describe it... but it was filling my whole body, almost crippling my ability to walk. It was a physical pain, a deep ache, a deep feeling of both dread and despair. It consumed my chest and my heart and my brain and my legs - everything. My forehead was scrunched up as I tried to concentrate on walking straight, tried to focus on following Mekhi and Ash. I was stumbling, treading on roots and walking into branches. The more we walked, the worse I felt. 

I think it was shock. I don't think my mind had entirely comprehended what had happened. I think my body understood it more than my head did. 

"Mekhi? Are you okay?" Ash's chocked voice brought me back. He had been crying, I think. My vision focused onto his red, puffy eyes and stained cheeks. I followed his gaze, Mekhi was leaning heavily on a tree, pressing a hand to his side.

"I'm fine. Just got hurt, that's all. C'mon, we need to keep moving." He pushed off to continue on, and I followed like a zombie. But Ash didn't move. Almost as if I was sleepwalking, I stopped to turn back to him. 

"No. Can't we stop for a bit?" Ash whispered, I almost couldn't hear him. He looked pale and sick. His skin was shining, but it was cold. 

Something appeared next to me but I didn't even have the energy to jump. 

It was Mekhi. He grabbed Ash roughly by the arm and dragged him forward. Mekhi's expression was stony, his eyes cold and dead. "No. We're more vulnerable without Archer. We need to get to town before dark." His voice suddenly softened, but his face didn't. "We're almost there, okay?"

Ash didn't even look at him. His gaze was trained on the ground, at his feet. "Okay." 

They brushed past me. Neither of them even glanced at me. For a moment, I wondered if they would just leave me here. It was almost relieving. If I could just sit down, and rest for a bit... and catch up later... 

"Follow us if you want to live, Isaak. If not, stay." 

I didn't move. Not for a while. Not until the forest around me was completely silent. It was so peaceful.

I jumped and spun around. I thought that maybe I could just make out Mekhi's footsteps... I began to run, my legs felt like lead but I ignored it and pushed on. 

There he was. Still holding Ash's arm. I fell into step behind them again. 

"Good to see you made the right decision." Mekhi muttered, not paying me much attention. "Would be boring without you."

How could he be so cold? Weren't he and Archer friends? Didn't he care? Maybe it was his way of dealing with grief. Ignoring it. Pushing it deep down inside, locking it in a chest and hiding it away. Masking his emotions with a stone cold wall. It didn't sound very healthy. 

Or maybe he really didn't care. I guess he and Archer weren't all that close. The only reason they put up with each other was because of a mutual interest; Ash's safety. And now Archer was gone... Mekhi had more to deal with now. He didn't have an extra pair of eyes on Ash. The weight on his shoulders was no longer shared. 

Of course he wouldn't show any emotions. He had to be strong for Ash. He had to appear emotionless against his enemies too. He couldn't let anything let his guard down...

Exactly how  important was Ash? Mekhi said he may as well be a prince. Archer had said that Ash was very, very powerful. Were the protecting him because people wanted to use those powers? Greedy, power thirsty people would want that power, wouldn't they? They would want to use Ash as a weapon against others to put themselves above everyone else. 

But Ash wasn't an object. He wasn't a weapon. He was a person, and he was kind. Perhaps too kind. Would he kill if he had to? He didn't seem like he agreed with death at all. When Archer had killed that guy at the inn... he hadn't been happy, even though at the time it was necessary. 

Death. 

It is cruel.

It is unforgiving.

It is pain, and grief, and terror. 

But it is also a natural, necessary part of the cycle of life. We will all die one day. Even if you're immortal, death is inevitable. 

Archer... I wondered how old he was. How many years had he seen? How many people had he loved, how many had he seen die...

"We're here." Mekhi's voice shocked me into the present, and I almost walked into Ash; they had stopped. "Ganyan."

We stood at the edge of the forest. The sun was below the horizon, the land was coated in faded blanket of light. The forest ended so suddenly, like the edge of a cliff. In the distance, I could see lights, they looked as if they were climbing into the sky. I could just make out the wall which surrounded the lights. They were quite far away, about 5 minutes walking distance. 

"Will we be safe there?" I whispered into the cool night air.

"Let's hope so." Mekhi replied in a tense voice.

We stepped out of the cover of the forest and onto the plain. We walked in solemn silence. I breathed in the cool, clear air. I hadn't realized how restricting the forest was until now. The air out here cleared my head, allowed me to think a bit more. 

"Is Archer dead." 

Mekhi looked sharply at Ash, who looked less sick now. More dead. Mekhi opened his mouth to reply, then hesitated. "He... I'm not entirely sure. I think so."

Ash stopped, and faced Mekhi, mouth and eyes wide open in shock. He inhaled sharply, prepared to say something, but I beat him to it. 

"You don't know?" Bile rose in my throat. "Do you mean you left him alive? To fight for himself? Do you mean he could be in the bog right now, dying - but alive!?" We had all stopped now. Right in between the edge of the forest and the wall surrounding Ganyan. 

Mekhi stepped slightly away from us, in a stance like a cornered animal, ready to fight at any moment. Scared, yet more angry, threatened yet threatening. "I had no choice!" He hissed. "He told me to go. Someone had to protect Ash. Someone had to stay back and keep the fucking beast away!"

"What beast?" Ash voiced. "What exactly happened? Why did you go behind the reeds anyway?"

Mekhi growled. "It was a gryphon. They can impersonate sounds, I thought I heard someone crying. So I went to look - yeah I know I didn't tell anyone and that was a stupid decision. But I didn't realize it would be a fucking gryphon!"

Something in his voice was off. Wrong. I couldn't place my finger on it... but... 

"I don't... it just- I-" Ash ran a hand through his hair, distraught. "I- fuck, I just don't get it! It doesn't make any fucking sense and-" He swallowed back his words, closing his eyes, taking a breath, trying to calm himself but his hands and lower lip trembled. 

I had never heard Ash swear so much. The word was odd and foreign coming from his lips. 

Mekhi was fuming now, more mad than anything. "It wasn't a fucking easy choice okay! Stop crying goddammit! Fuck... just- just stop!" He could barely look at Ash, who hadn't managed to calm himself and now had tears streaming down his cheeks. He was choking and trembling in shock and fear and grief, my heart ached like mad for him.

I enveloped him in a hard hug, crushing him against me. He didn't resist me at all, simply returned the hug, and we both slowly fell to the ground, locked in embrace. I could feel his tears, warm and cold against my shoulder, soaking through my shirt. I held him, tight, trying not to cry myself- I had to be strong, but not just strong, supportive. Something that Mekhi was missing by a long shot. 

Well, here's a new chapter. Tell me what you guys think of this so far, I'm curious what you're all thinking!

As always I hope you guys enjoy this part and the rest of the story! 😀😀

Thanks so much for reading!

Babyy xx