BatFamily Oneshots

Sick Birdie

A/N Written by @EmiTheNinja. Plot minorly changed.

"AAACHOO!"

The force of the sneeze sent Damian rocket backwards from his crayons and giggled when he felt thin but strong arms lift him before he could slide past the legs.

Dick placed his little brother on his hip and nuzzled their noses. "Catching a cold hatchling?" He was answered was another sneeze but this one was blocked by a napkin.

"Make that 'Having a cold,'" Bruce said as he removed the napkin and used a wet one to clean up his youngest son, Dick cringed when they heard another sneeze from one of the bed rooms and a loud cough from the hall as the door closed.

"I think they all have it," Dick declared as he went to put Damian in bed, he fished out his phone and called Artemis which was really quick, he just said, "Hey, can't come to the cave today and if Wally whines about it feel free to hit him, bye!" before ending the call and started to change his little brother into a Batman one-piece with a hood that had pointy ears, to be honest all the Batkids had that kind of one-piece.

Damian was stubborn and refused to let go of Dick when he was being lowered into the crib. "Ack! Dami, you're choking me!" the hacker chuckled as Bruce gently took Damian.

"Go before he learns how to magically disa-"

"Whoa!"

Bruce looked at his now empty arms and spun around to see Damian hanging on Dick's back, his batglare just screamed 'don't you dare try again' before he pressed his nose in Dick's shoulder.

"Uh Dad? I think he already learned that trick," the eldest boy giggled as he walked out of Damian's room. "Alright, since you refuse to let go of me you can stay with me...but if I get sick I will tell Alfred to give you guys broccoli instead of cookies."

Bruce actually grinned when he heard Damian's shocked squeak before he started baby babble, some of the words were 'meanie', 'dum dum' and 'pluck feathers'. His kids were so obsessed with having birds and bats in their sentences that Bruce had to make them promise to ONLY use them at home and around heroes.

Heaven knows what would happen if they used those words at school.

Damian was too little to start preschool, Cass couldn't even speak yet, and Tim and Stephanie point blank refused to be near others. Jason didn't have that much trouble with people, he just did the work and the homework and then fled to the car before Alfred had even stepped out.

And Dick was two grades above his age group at Gotham Academy but he was the social butterfly, he made friends left and right.

"Damian will you let go so I can change?!"

Bruce was brought back to the present when Dick's whining was heard and went to hold his youngest (tight but gently this time) while Dick found some sweat pants and a worn t-shirt to sleep in, Damian was making impatient noises and squirmed in his father's arms.

The Dark Knight almost feared how the kids would act if something happened to Dick.

"Ok, now you can strangle me you little hatchling!" Dick picked up his brother and sighed as the small arms and legs was slammed around him again. "When did you become such a cuddle monster?"

"He's not getting it from me that's for sure so I think the culprit is you, son," Bruce smiled as he pulled the comforter around them, since Dick's hands were occupied.

"Soo, one grumpy Bat is enough in Gotham?" he asked after he was sure Damian was asleep, Bruce just kissed him on the forehead.

"What gave it away?"

~1 week later~

Batman chuckled as he lifted his cold, wet, and shaking bird out of the Batmobile and pressed him against his chest, making sure the cape was wrapped tightly around the teen until they were in the med-bay.

"Albred *sniff* I'b 'baking my broccoli threat *sniff* official," came the muffled, stuffed voice from the dark bat-shaped leather cape. Alfred chuckled as he helped Robin remove his wet and cold uniform.

"Are you steady enough to take a shower?"

Dick stifled a sneeze that made him jump and sound like a mouse, making Alfred and Bruce laugh. "Why are 'bhere two ob you?" he asked and sniffed again.

"I think that's a 'no' Alfred but I need a shower too, come on Dick." Bruce lifted the sick bird again and helped him get showered.

After getting dressed in his warm and dry Batman one-piece Dick was put in bed and he just pulled his comforter over his head, clearly not going anywhere in the next few days. "I'll come wake you when you have to take your medicine," Bruce said as he closed the door just as Jason passed by.

"He's sick too? Steph was home again today and Tim was barely standing when he came through the door."

"Yes, get Alfred and let him treat you before you crash as well...again."

"Don't remind me of last week please. So Dick, Tim and Steph are down and Cass snatched one of your thick sweaters...I never noticed how tiny she was until she put it on." Bruce chuckled because he could see that image in front of him as he went to find the girl.

Cass was pressed into his armchair in the living room and didn't look away from the animal documentary she was watching. "Really? Bats?!" Bruce grumbled as he sat down and placed the small bundle in his lap, keeping a steady arm around her.

"Mmhm."

"What am I gonna do with you kids?"

"U-Under...C-Cape..."

Bruce grunted as he watched too but soon her words sank in and he was looking at her in shock. "Did you just-"

"Birds...Under...Cape...Daddy...Batman."

*It's Dick who's behind this...It has to be Dick who has taught her to speak...Telling her to use words that makes her feel safe* Bruce chanted in his head and his brows quirked up when the mouse sneeze was heard again that evening.

"Alright, Alfred! Get the duck tape!" (Even though the kids have a cold, they refuse to stay in bed...Except Dick in his current state)

"Ah, so miss Cassandra has given in to the nasty cold as well?"

"Jason got over it a week ago but Cass just mouse sneezed."

"I'll prepare some soup."

Cass frowned at him, "Not...M-Mouse...Bat-bird!"

"Alright, Bat-bird sneeze, Bruce chuckled."

Bruce recieved a pretty well aimed pillow slammed in his face.

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