Into The Dark

{8} Lori And Carl

We arrive at this refugee camp and everyone hops out. I climb back in front with Rick. "Rick, it'll be okay. You just gotta get out there and smile." I tell him with a small fake smile.

I feel my insides trembling. My hands wont stop shaking and tears roll down my face. I can't believe they left him behind. I wipe them away as Rick looks at me.

"You trying to bring the brightness back?" He asks with a small smile.

I chuckle. "Yeah, I guess I am. Is it working?" I ask.

"So far, so good." He says and we smile at each other. He really is a good man.

"Hey, Clint Eastwood! Bring your partner and come say hello!" Morales yells at us.

I look to Rick again. "Its now or never." I say. He chuckles and gets out, me following along and running around to be beside him.

"The guys a cop like you." Morales says to a man.

Rick stops walking and breathes in heavily. I look at him in concern. "Oh my god." He whispers. He walks forward so quickly as a little boy runs to him, a woman chasing.

"Dad! Dad!" The little boy yells as he runs to Rick who got down on his knees and hugs him tightly.

"Carl." Rick cries. "Oh!" He exclaims as he stands up, holding Carl, and walks to the woman, I'm guessing is Lori, his wife.

He hugs her and they all cry and hug as everyone just stands around and watches the exchange.

Rick looks back at me and I nod with a smile. He smiles and goes back to his family.

I look down at my feet as I suddenly feel alone. I've been alone all this time but then Rick showed up and... It was like I found a light in this darkness. Like I was never truly alone.

Later, after dark, we all sit around a fire. Rick sits with Lori and Carl and I sit kinda away from everybody. I feel so lost and alone right now that I can't even bare to look up at anyone.

My mind is still on Merle. I should go back right now and get him out of there. It's not fair that they left him like that. I know it was an accident, but still... it wasn't right.

"Disoriented. I guess that comes closest. Disoriented. Fear, confusion- all these things but... Disoriented comes closest." Rick says as we all sit around a fire that night.

"Words can be meager things. Sometimes they fall short." Dale says.

Rick continues speaking about what it was like when he woke up. I hear what he says but I don't listen. I stare at the dirt under my feet.

I am just so mixed up right now and tired that when I hear an owl hoot, I jump and flinch away from it. I hope it didn't draw attention but it did.

"Ash, what's your story?" Dale asks.

I look up at him. "Oh... Um... Nothing, I guess. Not much to tell." I say feeling embarrassed.

I give Rick a side glance and he's looking at me with sad eyes.

"Oh, come now. You have to have something to say about your old life." Andrea says.

"Well, I had a mother and father and a sister and brother. Is that enough?" I ask.

"Did they die in this?" Morales asks.

"Um... My sister died five years ago. I was thirteen and she was eighteen. I begged her to let me go with her to a party. She finally agreed and after the party, we were cornered in an alley by some men. They grabbed at me but my sister wouldn't let them. They stabbed her and were going to get me but my sister distracted them long enough for me to escape. She died in that alley. They found her body in that trash can that night after I went home.

"My father became an alcoholic and started becoming abusive to me and my mother. He started doing drugs and then got my mother doing them. He blamed me for her death. The day this all started, my father sent me to the store but I ran into a biter. I ran home as fast as I could and when I walked into the kitchen... My mother had a half a broken beer bottle in her stomach. She turned and she was eating and tearing apart my father. I didn't understand what was going on so I tried to stop her. She nearly killed me when I did that. I was confused and scared out of my mind. I had no other family and nowhere to go. I guess you could say I was disoriented to. My life turned upside down in less than an hour." I say to the group, looking down at the dirt.

No one says anything for a while until I hear Rick speak. "Is that why you made that deal with me?" He asks.

I look up at him and nod. "I couldn't allow myself to go unless I knew that I could protect you. That's why when you asked me, I vowed that I would protect you and your family, when we found them, at all cost. I still plan on keeping this deal." I tell him.

He nods with a smile. "And so do I."

"Wait. What deal?" Shane asks looking at me skeptically.

"That if I go with Rick, then I have to protect him and his family, at all cost."  I say.

"No, I said we have to have each other's back." Rick pointed out. 

"Yeah, but I'm still doing it." I say.

Lori looks at me. "Why?" She asks.

"Because I don't want people getting hurt. Especially if it's because of me." I say to her. "Besides, Rick wanted to help me and he did. So, I'm only helping him back."

"What a kind girl you are. Don't let your past define you, child." Dale says giving me a warm smile.

"And your brother? What happened to him?" T-Dog asks. 

I sigh and look down as I clench my fists. "He was sent to prison long before this started." 

"Why? What did he do?" Dale asks.

I ignore his question and stand up. "I'm gonna go. Need some time alone to think about today." I tell them as I walk away.