Little Things

Chapter 24

After a short time of weeping into my hands, I quickly grab a few tissues out of the glove compartment to clean myself up. Not that it even matters anymore. My whole life is a joke.

I rest my head against the steering wheel, just to take a moment to think. 

I have no where to go. I have one friend.

And after what just previously happened, I don't even know if she counts anymore.

I lift my head up and slam my palms against the rough leather of the wheel, muttering a curse to myself. Even though there is no one around to hear me.

I have absolutely no where to go.

My life is consistent. I go to work, I get paid shit money, I go to the supermarket once a week, I come home, I watch some television or read or paint, and I sleep. Then I wake up the next morning and repeat.

I don't have time to make friends. Even when I used to party all the time and hit up bars Friday nights, I didn't have any friends. Drunk buddies are different. It's not like you actually trust those people. 

The only other person close to a friend is Donovan, or even Victor. But Victor is one of those people you talk to when the time comes. It's not like we would actually go out together. As for Donovan, we are closer. I have been to his place a few times, after work. He has been to mine too, but we aren't very close. It would be awkward if I just showed up at his door.

Besides that, I have no one.

Another shoutout to my parents for being great figures in my life. Aren't they the ones I am supposed to be able to go to in times like this? When I can't go to my friends, isn't family always supposed to be there?

I guess not.

At least not in my case.

I could always talk to Niall...

No. No I can't.

He doesn't need me to bother, and screw up everything up for him. I will only add drama to his already perfect lifestyle. 

Maybe if I just text him...

I fumble around for my purse getting my phone out, then remembering I never got his phone number. How did I manage to have this kid stay at my apartment, drive him around Boston, but not get his number?

"Shit," I mumble, sinking into the seat.

Tears run down my face as I drive away. 

In a matter of no time, I don't even realize where I am going until I pull up outside of Lucky O'Connors. It's around eight o'clock right now. But it's also just a Monday night, no one will be here. I check myself in the mirror to clean up mascara smudges, for what seems like the millionth time today, and reapply the lipgloss I also keep in the glove compartment.

It's actually Morgan's, but whatever.

I open the door, my subconscience screaming at me to drive home and not enter the black framed doors leading inside. Yet I do so anyways. 

The moment I step in, the smell of beer and fried food fills my nostrils, and instead of music like the previous night, the sound of shouting rings my ears. I feel a sense of bravery and find a spot at the bar in between a crowd of people. Thankfully, Colin is working at this side and lights up when he sees me.

"Allyson! You came for the game!" he says, with wide arms, welcoming me.

My eyes scan up to one of the many television games to see the broadcasting of none other than a Monday night football game.