Her Lovely, overprotective Brothers

Chapter 36

She was above amazing. For them, she was perfect.

I could hear them shouting after me but all I could do was walk away. It's all that I've ever done. Walk away and follow what they ordered. 

Be a good little sister like they always expect me to be.

But I don't deserve this. This wasn't suppose to be a big deal. We were suppose to sit down and talk about this problem like we always do when we need to untangle a problem.

I couldn't help but let my tears fall down as I tiredly walk away. That memory felt so real. It was really as if I was drowning with no one to really save me.  And what I hated the most was that my younger self was already accepting that kind of fate. That feeling of desperation and just giving up. Powerless over someone who had real power.

Lydia.

Who was she? Was she that amazing? Was she that lovely to be protected by my brothers? I scoffed at that thought. But there's so many questions yet no one to answer them. Why was I named after that horrible girl? Why would my parents name me after her?

Then it hit me. My father calls me by my second name. Coincidence maybe? Everyone calls me Sam but why does he call me Lydia?

Why do I feel like I'm supposed to remember something important? Every time I try to recall something, it just turns into something that makes me feel nauseous and dizzy.

Maybe it is such a big deal. For all I know, maybe I died before and no one's telling me about it.

The memories... It was like I was looking at death's door. I know it's exaggerating but I feel like it's just a perfect description. Watching somebody drown until they huff out their last breath. If I was strong enough, if I was enough to be brave and strong, maybe I wouldn't be pathetically crying my eyes out right now. But that's the problem.

I'm not enough.

I'm not strong enough.

I'm acting like I'm not a kid anymore. But the truth about that is that I am still a kid. I'm practically a baby bird who has a long way to go before they leave the nest.

I try to act independent but the truth is that I can't do anything without my brothers by my side. I try to be brave and be mature but I'm not mature. I'm not strong. I ask for my brothers for help. Hell, I always do that.

I cover my mouth, trying to stifle my sobs and cries. It just won't stop falling.

I leaned against the wall and tightly close my eyes. They won't hear my cries. They won't see me like this. It's like in those memories. There was no one there to help me. There was no one there to save me.

I was just... Alone.

Do you know how that must've felt like for me when I was just a kid? How can anyone cope with that? I have six brothers for fuck's sake! Where were they when I needed them? Did they let me drown and be played by that girl?

They can't do that to me, right? They'll never leave me alone with her.

But my hopes were slowly sinking into nothingness.

What if I remember everything? Just one scene from my memories can make me tipsy and frightened. What if I remember everything then?

My tears continuously fell down as I sobbed quietly. I couldn't hold it in, it just pains me to feel so vulnerable.

"Please..." I silently begged quietly. I just want it to stop. I just want my fear to stop.

"Let me out!" Little Samantha banged the door, horror was flowing her veins as Samantha trembled with fear.

She could hear the familiar cackle from that girl.

It echoes in her mind like a broken record player. It just wouldn't stop.

"What a wimp! If you're afraid of being locked at some dusty old basement then you won't make it through life!"

No.

NoNoNoNoNo!

She can't lock her here. Not here!

It's so dark in the basement. It's so dusty and scary. Samantha can't stay here for an hour. She can't be alone. She hates being alone.

"Besides, you'll get to play with some monsters there. Who knows, maybe they'll eat you for lunch too~"

The playful tone in her voice made Samantha's eyes widened with fear.

"Please... " Samantha whispered quietly. "Please let me go..."

I close my eyes tighter, feeling the same wave of dizziness that I felt earlier. I suddenly feel heavy. I couldn't help the massive painful headache that's coming up.

I let out a whimper of pain as my whole body shake in cold, raw fear. It was making my headache worse and it was like those memories were playing on repeat inside of my head.

I tried to stand up properly but my world felt like it was spinning.

'This is nothing, Sam!' I tried to reassure myself but when I try to walk towards the stairs, my eyesight suddenly blurred, different colors flashed before my eyes, then I just saw myself collapsing on the cold floor.

I gasped desperately but it felt like my chest is preventing me to get some air.

Am I hyperventilating?

My mind was a big puddle of water too. I couldn't think properly.

Darkness slowly swooned over me and all I want now is for the pain to stop. To just let me be without her hovering around deep inside of my mind

I'm just so tired....

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Soooo.... How is it?

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter with the song on. I hope that you guys also enjoy the little description of Sam's emotions about this and how she thinks about this situation.

So sorry for any mistakes!

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