Her Lovely, overprotective Brothers

Chapter 40

I always wonder why I remember those kinds of memories. I don't know why but when I do, I feel all these negative emotions that I feel so guilty about.

Jealousy is one of it.

I can't explain it properly but I feel jealous whenever there's a memory where Lydia talks about my brothers and cousins like she's been through a lot with them. I don't know who this girl was but why does she talk like her life was better than mine? Here I am, sinking into this black, cold abyss and in my memories, she's always happy. So, so happy.

She'll say that my brothers loved her more than me. I can see some memories where my brothers would blame me for whatever happened to Lydia but all I could do was tell myself that it's only my brain messing with me. I always tell that to myself but I am slowly believing that it's true because if they loved me then they wouldn't do this to me. If they loved me then they'll never be so cold when I ask them who this person is. Maybe I'm just annoying and Xendrix is right. He always sound right. He always persist that he's right.

And I believe him now.

Because I am just a brat who depends too much on my brothers and that I am to whiny for my own good, I am a burden to them. I make their lives heavy, I get it. I know. And Lydia should've been here so that their lives won't be like that. Maybe Lydia should be the one who should replace me because unlike me, who's so annoying, she's the perfect one. When they tell me that I'm exactly like her I always thought that I'm not. I'm not like her because I can't do the things that she could do and that makes me burn with jealousy. With anger.

With sadness.

With guilt.

But look at me, I got what I deserve right? I was too nosy and this was my punishment, right?

Right? This is what I deserve.

______________________________________

"Here we are, kiddo. Home sweet home."

I nodded, feeling way too tired to answer Tyler right now. I know that my brothers, even Daniel and Xendrix, are worried but they don't need to look at me like I'm going to keel from exhaustion or something.

The weather is getting cold, I thought, it'll be winter soon.

I let out a shaky sigh as I look at the familiar house, I call home. I grimaced all of a sudden. This is the same house that she--

Sam, don't go there.

Forcing a smile, I turned to look at my brothers. "Thanks guys."

They all shared worried looks but Xendrix was the one who stepped forward.

"You're welcome, Samantha." He answered, kind of robotically, but it nevertheless surprised me.

I nodded slowly, not sure what to say next. I walk towards the house, feeling sick all of a sudden. I don't want to be here because it reminds me of her.

Opening the door, I was immediately hugged, causing me to stumble back with a grunt.

"I'm so glad that you're safe, sweetheart." Mom said, hugging me tightly. Behind her was dad, I avoided making making eye contact with him because I know that it'll upset me.

I'm too mad and tired to deal with this right now.

"Hey mom... " I mumbled, feeling impatient for this right now as I hug her back awkwardly.

After a while, she let go of me. It didn't go unnoticed that she glanced at Isaac with a small frown but she smiled again. "Oh sweetie... You're freezing. How about we take some blankets and let's get you something to eat, okay? We can even watch a horror movie, sounds good?"