Do It Now Remember It Later(Punk 5sos fanfic)

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I stood staring at the door.

what have I done?

Oh my god

what have I done?

"Nic cmon lets get that bandaged before it gets infected." Ashton urged me, lightly grasping my arm.

I ripped my arm away from him, "let it get infected. maybe I'll die of an infectious disease."

ash huffed, "don't say that. You know better"

I inhaled a deep breath and exhaled a deep breath, "you're right. cmon" I sighed letting him lead me to the kitchen.

I hoped upon the counter since Ashton was a good bit taller than me. I twisted my arm around so he could clearly see it. he rummaged around in the cabinets looking for -I'm assuming- the first aid kit.

"Aright this may sting a bit" he huffed. my eyes bulged when I eyes the black bottle of peroxide.

"Fuck may, it will sting like a bitch" I whined. he chuckled at my reaction.

"What?" I asked trying to hide my smile from his laugh.

"Nothing. I just ah I've never heard you swear like that before" he stated.

"Here move your arm like this. that looks uncomfortable" he bent my arm so I could now take my hand and squeeze my shoulder. i watched him as he filled the little cap full off the alcohol. I winced imagining how much pain I was soon to bare.

"Ready?" he grinned.

"N-" before I could finish the next syllable he poured the liquid down my arm. "ouch!" I yelped pulling back slightly but Ashton had his grip on my arm holding me in place.

"See that wasn't so bad" he chuckled again. I huffed in response looking at the bubbling peroxide on the open wound.

"Here take this. it'll help with the throbbing or stinging." he handed me an ibuprofen and a cup of water. I nodded and placed the medicine on my tongue and gulped the water. causing me to choke and my eyes to water.

"Damn you're just getting banged up today aren't you?" Ashton laughed.

"Mm maybe you'll be banging me next" I mumbling swallowing the rest of the water before realising what I just said.

Ashton just stared at me "Holy shit. I'm so sorry. I didn't - fuck! I really am a slu-"

Ashton leaned up to meet my face and kissed me. I couldn't help but kiss back.

Damn how are you so stupid?

Who cares? he's hot and a great kisser

he's your half brother you can't jus-

"I'd bang you anytime" Ashton's voice stopped the bickering in my mind.

Jfc he's so hot

Yes we began making out again. no I'm not proud of Ashton and I making out in the kitchen. ashton took off his shirt and yes I was staring at his arms and bare chest.

And yes we stopped when we heard a car pull up to the drive way.

We pulled apart panting.

"I um I uh I'm sorry I shouldn't've even said anything to start with I'm such a slut. I mean I made out with Luke then sleep with Michael and now I'm making out with my half brother" I rambled sighing and rubbing my face.

"Nicole cmon you're being hard on yourself" Ashton stated sliding his shirt back on.

"I have every reason to be!" I snapped standing up and walking out of the kitchen and up to mine and Ashton's room.
God dammit
I gripped my hair with my fingers and pulled slightly
Agh
I paced around the room.
This is it I'm going crazy.
I walked over to the wall and slowly started to band my forehead against the navy walls.
You stupid stupid slut why would you even!?
I inwardly yelled at myself.
A good 5minutes later I stopped for fear of bruising or becoming concussed.
I slid on the carpet to the en suite to look into the mirror.
What have you become?
What have you done?
You aren't Nicole Collins anymore.
You're brinley Irwin. the daughter of two gang leaders.
The most feared gangs in the city.
God damn
Fuck!
I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry.
You aren't you anymore.
Become a new you. Reinvent yourself.
I took a deep breath and straightened myself out. I fixed my hair and decided to change my clothes.
All black for the mourning of who I used to be and the birth of a new me.
Black ripped jeans. black ratted tee. combat boots. and well black makeup.
I took one last look in the mirror.
Badass. was all that came to mind.
I pursed my red lips and walked out of the room and marched down the stairs.
I saw ashton sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.
he looked up as he heard my stomping.
"Nic what are you-"
"It's brinley. im apart of this family now. I'm brinley Irwin not fucking barbie doll Nicole Collins"
that shut him up. I could see him overthinking.
"Alright. well nice chat. I'm going out"
Before he could say anything else I walked out the door slamming it behind me.

(A/n I AM SERIOSULY SO UPSET AMD DISAPPONTED WITH MY SLEF WOW. I'm trying so hard for this but I get writers block and then I get unblocked at the worst times ever and I don't get to write it out until an appropriate time and by then I get stumped on this ALAS I HAVE FINNALY UPDATED THIS AND IT WILL BE PROGRESSIVLY BETTER I PINK PROMISE IK THIS SUCKS ASS BUT ITS A WORK IN PROFRESS AND UM YEAH 22K READS GUYS I LOVE YALL SO MUCH IM UGH SPEACHLESS WOWZA PLEASE KEEP READING VOTIMG AMD COMMENTING mwah!!!)