Kingdom of Loathing

Chapter 3: Toot Oriole

Author's note: Apologies for this short chapter! I wanted a good place to split the plotline so this had to be a bit shorter than usual :)

***

Normal citizens don't know this, but the Kingdom got taken over by a dark sorceress. It's been that way for years now.

***

The mouse squeaked on Cassidy's shoulder.

"Oh that reminds me, little guy," Cassidy remarked. "What should I call you?"

Obviously, the mouse didn't reply, and even when it did, she couldn't understand it.

"You know what?" she chuckled, patting the mouse's head. "I think I'll call you Ben. Cool with that?"

The mouse seemed to nod, so she took that for a yes. And before they knew it, they were before probably the smallest mountain in the entire world. There was a sign in front of it, labeling the mound "Mt. Noob." Clever name.

Approaching the mountain, Cassidy heard a chirp as she looked up to see a bird sat atop the peak of the "mountain."

"Welcome, civilian!" the bird chirped.

A talking bird? It was strange, but Cassidy knew that a fantasy kingdom would have much stranger things to come.

"Oh hey," Cassidy walked to the base of the hill. "Who here teaches about adventuring?"

"That would be me, my dear!" the bird tweeted, spreading its wings. "Just call me Toot Oriole!"

"Oh, that's great then! Mind giving me some info on adventuring?"

As Cassidy finished her sentence, Toot Oriole motioned its wing to a plaque on the wall.

"To start off, you must first choose a class!" it explained. "There are six to choose from, each unique from the rest!"

Eyeing the plaque, Cassidy saw six sections, each with a stick figure drawing of a male and female holding different items and wearing different outfits. She scanned through the classes: Seal Clubber, Turtle Tamer, Pastamancer, Sauceror, Disco Bandit and Accordion Thief.

"That's a lot to choose from, don't you think?" Cassidy grinned, turning back up to Toot Oriole. "Got any suggestions?"

"It really just depends on who you are," Toot Oriole explained. "Two classes use one of the three M's, Muscle, Moxie, and Mysticality. If you think you're strong and better at melee combat, then you would go for Muscle. If you're more quick and sneaky, then Moxie is a good choice. And if you like to do magic, then Mysticality is the way to go."

"Magic?" Cassidy raised her eyebrows with interest as she recalled the magician who saved her and her sister. "Real magic? Not just that card trick bullshit?"

"You're absolutely right!" Toot Oriole tooted. "Real magic to fight your enemies!"

She turned back to the plaque and looked under the "Mysticality" section. There were two classes to choose from, Pastamancer and Sauceror.

She read the description of a Pastamancer: "With their mastery of the arcane secrets of Noodlecraft, the Pastamancer is a force to be reckoned with. They rely on their Mysticality to get ahead in the world."

Then, her eyes scanned down to the perks of being a Pastamancer: "Pastamancers cast powerful elemental spells while summoning their undead pasta thralls to fight alongside them."

A huge part of her definitely wanted to be a Pastamancer, not only as means to avenge the magician who helped her out four years ago, but because her gut told her that magic would come in handy.

"I think I want to be a Pastamancer," Cassidy decided, looking to Toot Oriole.

"That's wonderful!" the bird chirruped. "It's always refreshing to see a Mysticality user! I'll show and tell you everything you need to know; just sit back and listen!"

And with that, it was the beginning of Cassidy's adventuring career.