Kingdom of Loathing

Chapter 30: Our Key to Success

"So, how do we get through this maze?" Cassidy asked the floating skull.

"Easy," Frank responded. "Just keep left and it'll be the safest way through."

"I'm not up for safety," Cassidy sighed, exasperated. "I gotta kick the Sorceress's ass immediately!"

"In that case, don't follow my directions and you'll get through quicker," Frank informed. "but you'll have to fight through more challenges."

"If that's faster, then I'm down for it. Let's go."

Taking her steps forward, Cassidy stopped at her first crossroads. She could either take the left path- the safe one, or the right one- more dangers, yet quicker. She didn't have the time to be dealing with a slow and steady pace, so Cassidy stepped towards the right despite Frank's surprised gasp.

Frank let out another gasp as the ceiling burst into flames and fire swept across the ground. But that didn't bother Cassidy. Being a magician herself and having a lot of elemental resistance, a bit of heat was toning to her. She felt a few of her hit points deplete, but nothing more.

"You got pretty lucky there, Chief!" Frank said. "Any other and they wouldn't have survived."

"Yeah, 'cuz my name is Queen," Cassidy replied with a smirk. "Let's keep going, shall we?"

Next, Cassidy reached a point in the maze where the path butted up against a large, shallow decorative pool.

"Okay. We're currently about a third of the way through this thing," Frank reminded. "Keep it up, and we'll be there in no time. If you hug the left wall here, eventually we'll make it to the other side of that pool."

"Why don't I just wade across the pool?" Cassidy challenged. "Wouldn't that be faster?"

"Well sure, Chief, it'd be faster at first, but then it'd be really slow, because you'd be dead. That pool is a trap. I guaran-freakin'-tee it. Stick to the left and everything will be alright."

Without a regard for it it was a trap or not, Cassidy chose to ignore Frank's words and bolt across the pond as fast as she could. As she splashed across the shallow waters, she felt every step becoming colder until her legs froze. Shuddering a bit, Cassidy warmed up her legs with some fire magic and continued on.

"67%, baby!" Frank exclaimed. "And look! We're in a straight corridor with no branches, so you have no option other than to follow the left wall."

"Oh yeah?" Cassidy retorted. "What about this manhole cover here? I'll bet this leads to a shortcut of some sort. Tunnels are almost always shortcuts."

"No, no," Frank protested, "they specifically warned me about this manhole. Manhole, they said. More like... dead man hole. They weren't funny guys, really. They were more the thinking and planning type."

"Well," Cassidy replied. "maybe they were as bad at planning as they were at jokes. Maybe the manhole is the right choice."

"You're killin' me, Chief," Frank groaned. "Please. Just stick to the left wall and let's get this over with."

"You're already dead," Cassidy reminded him as she lifted up the manhole cover. "The only person I would be killing is myself."

Kicking the cover aside, Cassidy eased her way down the manhole and into the tunnels. Immediately, she was blasted with a horrid stench that seemed as if rotting fish, spoiled milk, vomit, and rat eggs were blended together in a smoothie and topped off with skunk spray. Sputtering and coughing, Cassidy held her nose and charged her way through the tunnel and out the manhole.

Fortunately, the manhole seemed to lead directly to a pair of large gates.

"89%! 89%!" Frank shouted. "Just a few more steps and we're through!"

Looking ahead, Cassidy realized Frank was right. A straight shot to the door at the base of the tower. No choices to make.

"I think you should follow the left wall, Boss" Frank grinned, showing all of his pearly white teeth.

Turning to him and smiling, Cassidy replied, "For once, buddy, I agree with you."

As the two approach the door, Cassidy pulled it open and offered, "After you."

"I insist, Chief. After you."

Then, both bursting into a short laughter, the two stepped through the exit together.

After passing through the gates, the two were confronted with a door and multiple other locks, all of which were already broken- except one.

"That wasn't there before," Frank frowned. "Broke all the locks and went straight up. Don't remember that being there, though."

"Looks like the Sorceress might have added that one later," Cassidy speculated. Holding up the lock, she asked, "Got any ideas on what key opens this one?"

"All the locks had clues on them, and now that I'm reading this one, it just says 'MEMORIES,'" Frank pretended to shrug. "I was prepared for all of the other locks because they told me what to bring, but they never said anythin' about this one."

"Memories..." Cassidy muttered as she reached around her bag. "I doubt lockpicks would work..."

As she dug inside her bag, Cassidy's hand felt a cold, metallic object. Grabbing it, Cassidy reached back out and pulled out her sister's locket.

"Ah, this thing." A small grin curled at her lips. "I almost forgot I had it."

Unclasping the necklace, Cassidy hung it around her neck and as she put it on, a small extension fell out from underneath the locket.

Confused, she held it up to see... that it was a key.

"What if..."

Slowly, Cassidy bent down and inserted the key into the lock. Then, taking a deep breath, she turned it.

Click.

And the lock broke loose.

Standing up, Cassidy turned to Frank (who was gawking at the opened lock), and grabbed the door handle.

"Looks like we're ready to go, now."

Nodding, Frank followed along. With a single tug, the door creaked open and revealed a particularly scary flight of stairs up to the tower's top.

"We just gotta climb this thing and we're all finished, right?" Cassidy asked Frank.

"You got it!"

"Then I'm ready. Let's go."

With the courage of a lion, Cassidy placed down her foot and took her first step up to her final destination.