Teen Titans one shots

Visiting The Manor

"Richard, are you sure you want to do this?"

"I'm sure, Kori. I need a break, anyway." 

Starfire was dropping Nightwing off at the Manor to babysit. He had not seen his family much ever since Mar'i was born a couple months ago, so when Bruce offered him the oppurtunity to watch the younger superheroes, he jumped at the chance.

Dick kissed Mar'i on the forehead and then pecked Kori on the cheek. "Be good for mommy, okay?" he asked his sleeping baby. All he got was a yawn in reply.

"Bye, honey." He waved at Starfire and Mar'i, and stepped out of the car. As he approached Wayne Manor, a bout of nervousness overcame him. He swallowed, and walked in. "After all," he thought, "I have a new baby. How hard could this be?" 

The first sign of how hard this would be was when he first opened the door. Tim was chasing Damian around the house, yelling at him.

"Alfred, what is going on-"

"DAMIAN GIVE ME BACK MY COFFEE!"

"YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT FOR 3 DAYS, DRAKE! THAT DOES HARM TO THE BRAIN AND THE BODY!"

"Uh, Alfred, why is Tim here too?"

"I do not know nor really care, Master Dick. I am going out to tea, so you will be responsible for them for a few hours."

"Wait-" said Nightwing, but Alfred had already shut the door behind him. He mumbled Tamaranian curses that he had picked up from Starfire, than turned his attention to Tim and Damian, who were still running around the manor like maniacs.

"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU ACCIDENT!"

"YOU CALL THIS AN ACCIDENT?" Damian reached for his sword, but Nightwing pulled it away. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what was the rule?" he asked, glaring at Tim and Damian.

They looked down at the floor and shuffled their feet, not saying anything. 

"Damian, the rule!" Dick glared at him, waiting for his words.

He looked away, averting the gaze of Nightwing. "No killing each other while Bruce is gone." 

"Exactly." Dick said, triumphant. "Now If you'll excuse me, I'm going into the kitchen to-" He stopped when he saw a familiar face. "Jason, what are you doing here?" 

"Could ask the same of you." He mindlessly threw an apple in the air and caught it. "I thought Babs was watching the kids."

Dick suddenly realized something. "Wait, how many people are here?" 

"Well, at first Bruce called Selina, but she's taking a nap, so he called me, and then he called Barbara in case I stab anyone-"

Dick had heard enough. He pushed past Jason and walked into the living room of the manor. Tim and Damian were back to fighting.  Barbara and Cass were arguing about who was the better batgirl. Stephanie was chasing Damian around with a knife for hurting Tim. Even Harley Quinn was there, bashing things in with her hammer. Bruce was clearly an idiot for calling this many people. Dick knew what he had to do.

"That's. It." Everyone looked at Dick confusingly, and then their eyes turned to panic. "Jason, stop him!" Stephanie yelled. Dick kicked him in the shin so Jason couldn't tie him up,  and ran through the kitchen, almost getting to the phone when he noticed something on his leg.

"Grayson, please, don't call herrrr." Dick pried Damian off and flung him onto Tim and Stephanie, which made a heap of Robins on the floor. "I warned you two." Nightwing walked to the phone, and punched in the number that he had memorized by heart.

Meanwhile..

Kori was lounging on the roof at Titans Tower, holding Mar'i beside her. She was humming and putting on sunscreen. "I wonder how Richard is doing?" she thought to herself, staring in the direction of Gotham. Starfire got her answer when she heard her phone ring.

"Hi, honey." She said sweetly into the phone.

"Hi, so, long story short, Batman invited the whole of Gotham to the manor." Dick sighed over the phone.

"And?" 

"-And Damian's threatening me with a knife if I don't hang up. You know what to do. Bye, sweetie." 

Kori hung up and nodded. "Come on, Mar'i." star said as she picked her baby up. "We're going to go kick Damian's ass." 

Back at the manor, hell had broke loose. Everyone was yelling at Dick. Catwoman had disappeared with Bruce's credit card. Jason was doing target practice on Damian. And Steph and Tim were making out on the couch as Cass cheered them on. 

Until the doorbell rang.

"She's here.." Damian's face turned white. 

"Ah, shit." Jason hid behind a bookshelf. 

"Damian, if we get out of this alive, I'm going to kill you." whispered Tim.

"Good to know, Drake." whispered Damian back.

Starfire burst down the door. "Ok, line up."

The batfam lined up, whimpering.

"Tim, Steph, if you want to make out, do it in the spare room. And please, lock the door!" Star shooed them upstairs, than tossed condoms at them.

Tim grumbled. "Yes, mom."

"Babs, Harley, Selina, I'm sorry but you need to leave."

"Aw, but I was having fun." Harley whined.

Green Starbolts lit up in Kori's eyes. "NOW."

Damian leaned in to whisper to Cass. "Well, we can tell who's the top." 

"I HEARD THAT, DAMIAN." Nightwing yelled.  

Starfire rolled up her sleeves. "What were you saying? I didn't quite catch that."

"Nothing, nothing." The grandson of the demon was trembling in fear. Nightwing breathed a sigh of relief. With Damian and the others under control, the manor was finally at peace again.

3 hours later..

Bruce and Alfred arrived at the mansion, chattering their teeth in nervousness.  They were expecting a house fire, at least. What they found was Nightwing quietly reading to Damian, Tim and Cass tossing a baseball back and forth, and Jason, of all people, baking a cake. What villain had brainwashed his kids? 

Bruce approached Nightwing, rubbing the back of his neck. "I take it went well?" The shock on his face was adamant.

"Yeah. Had no trouble handling them at all." Bruce didn't understand. With Jason or Barbara babysitting, it was mayhem as usual, but with Dick babysitting, Damian was planting flowers instead of stabbing people. He scratched his head and sat down in his armchair. "Alfred, could you make me a cup of tea? I'm not feeling so well." 

"Of course, master Bruce." Alfred got up, and passing a green-eyed alien on the way to the kitchen, he did something that he had never done before.

He winked.

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Comment your favorite member of the Batfam! Kori could kill all of Dick's brothers no question.

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