Egotistic - J.JK.

Sixteen

After dinner, Jungkook and I had gone to the payphone near the hotel. It was a success with getting through the line and talking to an old friend of mine.

We talked about myself trying to find someone who had unfinished business with me. I gave some possible hints to who it was without saying a name, and surprisingly they instantly knew who I was talking about. They offered for me to come the next day and meet up to discuss whatever I had to say about Taehyung.

After talking to my friend, I hung up. I never noticed, but I had a slight grin on my face. Once I told Jungkook the news it was something that could have a possible lead to what we needed, he became excited. We had a plan of action to help us out.

Back in the hotel, I plopped down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. My heart was thrumming in my chest slightly, still feeling a bit of excitement. The day, though, still didn't feel real with what had happened. Everything seemed to happen all at once. It was hard to look through all the memories, it all a jumbled mess.

I felt the other side of the bed sink a little, it slightly creaking. My excitement tapered off a little at that, my heart stopping in my chest. I could see Jungkook out of the corner of my eye, sitting there while facing the wall in front of us. He seemed to be staring off into space like he had something on his mind.

"I . . . I'm sorry I acted so cold towards you," he suddenly whispered in a small stutter of hesitation. His head bowed a little to look down at his lap. "It wasn't fair to you. You meant good towards me when we were set up. You were right that I was judging you unfairly."

I paused for a moment, swallowing anxiously. This was a sudden apology I wasn't expecting; my question was did he actually mean it? "You're randomly apologizing. Why?"

"I . . . " Jungkook trailed off for a moment, then gave a small groan and sigh mixed together. I peered over to see him run his hand up his face, almost like he was embarrassed and shy to explain himself. "What that guy did today was unacceptable. If that's what your life has been like, I was wrong to judge you. You have a reason to be who you are."

I bit down on my lip, thinking for a moment. I slowly pushed myself up, turning to look over at Jungkook. "I appreciate the apology and I accept it, but you don't need to feel bad. I can handle things on my own. I'm used to it."

"That's what shouldn't be okay," Jungkook pointed out, turning fully to me. His eyes widened a little bit with anger, but not towards me. At something else. "You shouldn't be used to it. What happened isn't right. I literally had to threaten him that I would call the police to get him out of there."

"You shouldn't have seen it," I whispered, looking down at the mattress. I picked at some lint on the soft comforter. 

"No, I'm glad I did." His hand suddenly reached over to mine, encasing it automatically. I froze to see it there, my eyes slowly turning up to find his gaze to be soft. "I needed to. You can't go through that alone."

I wanted to pull my hand out of his, but I couldn't seem to grab the resistance in me and pull it to the front. Something in my brain was waiting for something, anything. "I . . . I don't need help. I can take care of myself. You don't want to get caught up in the mess I have."

A small smile came perked up Jungkook's lips. He seemed to get closer but I never noticed it. "I was already caught up in the mess at the beginning. Remember? I was the Defender. The one that was always there, just not in the way that you needed."

I gave him a look of exasperation. "It's deeper than you think. That was just the surface."

"So?"

"I don't want--"

I never realized how close Jungkook had grown until his lips were against mine. I froze then, my eyes widening with surprise. His hand on mine moved up to my arm a little, holding me gently. Nothing about this screamed menacing, toxic; this was softer, kinder, nothing I had ever witnessed before. This was something that felt so much better than anything else in my life.

He pulled away after a moment, his eyes opening to meet mine. The same sparkle I had witnessed on our first date hung in his eyes, his smile a little bit broader then. I released a breath, not realizing I had held it for so long. I could practically feel my heart about to burst out of my chest.

"Oh," I said with a shaky breath, so quietly that I could barely hear the murmur. I couldn't say anything else. I couldn't move. I was stuck in time.

"I want to turn this around," he said quietly. "I want to make things right again. I want us to go back to when we first met and who we were then."

Trying to still catch my breath and take hold of my heart again, my free hand snaked over, the fingers curling around Jungkook's wrist. "Don't do that. Please, you can't get hurt."

"I'm not leaving you the way you are." His other hand came up, cupping the side of my neck. I had to keep myself from stiffening out of automatic reaction. He wasn't going to touch the back of my neck. He didn't know. "I can't."

"You promise not to hurt me?" I whispered, trying not to let my voice crack. I was becoming nervous.

His eyes widened with shock. He shook his head vigorously while saying, "No, no, I won't. I promise."

My hand came away from his wrist and floated up to take his hand away from my neck. Once my fingers laced with his, a weight lifted off my shoulders. "If this is going to happen, please don't touch the back of my neck."

His eyebrows furrowed together. "Are you okay? Are you hurt at all?"

"I should have told you earlier, but I didn't think it was right," I murmured, looking down at his hand on my arm. The touch was so much different than any other before. "I'm not completely invincible."

He stared at me for a second, his eyebrows relaxing, understanding coming over his face as he put together the puzzle. "It's your weak point."

Realization came over me that someone knew my Achilles heel. A hint of panic sparked through me. "Please don't tell anyone. I've never said anything about it before. This can't get out."

"Of course," Jungkook nodded. "I won't tell anyone or hurt you."

A breath of relief escaped me. I gave a faint, weak smile as I said, "Thank you."

Jungkook looked down between us for a moment, the hand on my arm letting a finger brush back and forth against my skin. "Let's go to bed. You need to be rested for tomorrow just in case you need to use your strength."

There seemed to be nothing else, nothing forceful. I could see Jungkook was taking it slow like a real relationship that just started. A sense of comfort came over me. I pulled myself out of his grip, only to wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face into his shoulder. I held on tight, missing the feeling of someone holding onto me genuinely. 

This seemed to surprise Jungkook for a second, but his arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me close. His head leaned against mine, a soft sigh escaping him and hitting my ear. It was warm and quiet, something that made me slightly melt inside.

"Let's just stay here for a little bit," I murmured, my face moving to rest in the crook of his neck. "This . . . This is good."

Jungkook only whispered one content word to me: "Okay."