I'm Not Ready

Chapter 11.

*Flashback*

He had just came home from work, drunk, again.

I tried to help him but he swat me away.

I tried to him again, more insistent this time, he did it.

He raised his right hand and it fell with a bloody sound.

His hand hit my cheek with a loud smack. The impact was so great, I spun around a little and fell to the ground.

With that, he stalked off into the room.

*End of Flashback*

He had done it again.

As I lied on the floor helplessly after he slapped me, he took the advantage.

He started kicking me in the guts and my legs.

I have to protect my face!

That was all I thought about. Well,I wasn't into looks or anything. But I can't have any bruises on my face, people would get suspicious and ask sound.

I covered my fave with my arms. Benny continued knocking my legs, my stomach, my arms.

All I felt were pain rushing through me in surges.

This wasn't the first time.

I lay on the floor as he went out again.

I went up to our room after he had left. He was hardly ever home.

I went into the toilet there. I slowly took out the blade that I had hidden.

Sitting in the shower, I closed the glass door. I leaned my back on the door and buried my head inbetween my legs and started to cry. It wasn't the first he did this.

Placing my hand on my knees, I place the blade gently on my wrist. Looking at the scars and the fresh cuts on my wrist, I pondered on wheather I should do this.

Fuck this. I thought to myself.

A tear rolled down my cheek as I pressed the blade and pulled it across my wrist.

I repeated this action until I felt numb. That was all I wanted to feel now. Numbness.

The fresh, red crimson blood trickled down my palm and dripped on the floor.

I stayed there, sitting there with my mind blank as the blood continued to stain my legs and the floor.

After about 15 minutes, I stood up, I kept the blade and wrapped a few bandages around my wrists and also rubbed a some oil on the bruises.

This had been done so many times that it had become a routine and I now hardly get any blood on the floor.

_ _ _

After bathing, I head down to the living room. Right then, there was a ring from the telephone.

It was Ben.

"I'm not coming home tonight." He informed me. Before I even answered him, there was a high female voice whining," Benny... Are you ready?"

"Yes darling," was all I heard before he hung up.

He.

He cheated.

ON ME?!

My head screamed in anger and fury.

I started to run up to the room. I jumped on to the bed and screamed into the pillow.

Hot tears fell down my eyes as I tried to calm myself down but to no avail.

All I wanted to do now was to cut. But then, a thought came across.

I have to take action.